Ring, ring! “I forgot Mother’s Day, what should I do?”
Oh, boy. Okay, get ready to dial in your mom after this. Step zero: garner sympathy for your whirlwind month. You must have been too busy celebrating Cinco de Mayo and honoring Teacher Appreciation Week — that’s the first thing you’re going to tell your mom, got it?
And if your mom doesn’t respond so sympathetically to the telling of fun you’ve had without her, then cushion your spiel of festivities with the midterm talk — an absolute classic that’s sure to reel in a few more cents of understanding. I’m not sure I have to tell you twice, provided that you’ve already scribbled “MENTION MIDTERMS” at the top of your apology plan.
All that bluff won’t really matter, as long as you’re able to keep your mom on the phone long enough to unveil your real surprise: a long-awaited grand gesture. Let’s be real, there’s never really a good enough explanation — let alone a phone apology — for forgetting someone’s big day. Go ahead and jot that down too. So, you’re going to want to go all out. Now, the game plan is all action, no more talk.
Here are some ways you can carpe diem the hell out of a belated Mother’s Day:
1. ‘Of course I remember that gifts are your love language!’
There are so many moms out there, and each one is unique. So, take some time to really consider what you know about your mom. Debunk the misconception that your mom is not a person outside of those three letters and ponder: What brings them pure, unfiltered joy? What do they like doing at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday? At 11 a.m. on a Sunday?
Take this, for example: My mom always talks up how much she genuinely loves cleaning. While that may be true to some extent, honestly, I see her get more excited when she’s shopping for her wardrobe or studying English. If I forgot Mother’s Day, I’d not only order her a new vacuum, but put that much more effort into sending her some fresh shirts and books I know she’ll really love.
“Mom, I didn’t forget! I was just waiting on your gift, but it’s arriving late.”
2. ‘You’re like a shot of espresso!’
As you near the end of your heartfelt apology, there’s probably nothing more your mom wants than to be with you in person. Thankfully, whoever came up with the acronym for Middle Of Muir Cafe did you a solid in narrowing down the perfect spot. With the number of times you’ve already read “mom” in this article, you had to see this one coming. Get your mom over here already! Imagine her sitting by your side over coffee, treats, and board games.
And if she can’t hop on a plane by tomorrow, you can still let her know that you’ll always be thinking of her. Even when it’s not Mother’s Day, frequent the M.O.M.’s Cafe for a caffeinated boost, then take selfies with said boosts. Send the pics to your mom alongside a “Thinking of you” text with a heart emoji. Do this as many times as that good caffeine from M.O.M.’s spurs you to do.
3. ‘Mom, I’ll never forget you again!’
Well, you literally won’t, if you get it tatted. “Hey, mom, look. It says ‘MOM.’ That’s you!” If the other two weren’t up to par, this will definitely do the job — albeit as a Hail Mary. There’s an infamous tendency for parents to accept a tattoo if it’s about them. I say, take the gamble to spell out your eternal love for the best momma in the world.
And if embellishing your bicep with a heart, arrow, and “MOM” just isn’t the look for you, put pen to paper and write your mom an equally everlasting card. Either way, she’ll be so blown away by your love that she’ll forget you even missed her day to begin with. Show her that mistakes are not permanent, but “MOM” ink can be.
The point is, there’s no criteria for “too much” when you’re celebrating the person that is … your mom. Boom. Happy belated Mother’s Day.
Oh, but before you hang up, ask your mom to pass the phone over to your dad. Wish him a Happy Father’s Day now, lest you forget.
