Disclaimer: The UCSD Guardian does not condone excessive drinking. So, before we dive into this story about the (surprisingly plentiful) spots you can grab a drink on campus, please be mindful of your limits, look out for your friends, and make good decisions.
I firmly believe that every great adventure begins with a dream, a desire, and a burning question to be answered. My friends and I had all three. The dream: the ultimate Friday night of brews, chews, and chats. The desire: to be “a little bit more than tipsy.” The question: How can we achieve all that without leaving the safety of UC San Diego’s campus? And thus, “The Great UCSD Bar Crawl” was born.
There were initially nine courageous crew members on this journey. I was accompanied by my roommates, Ethan and Decheng; my KSDT radio co-host, Andres; my two Seattle sidekicks, Chris and Sam; the quintessential frat bro duo, Andrew and Curtis; and our recordkeeper and fellow Guardian associate, Tommy.
Stop 1: The Loft
Our quest began at 4 p.m. sharp at The Loft — a dimly lit spot located in a quaint, unassuming corner of Price Center. Its calming, contemporary art gallery-feel falsely foreshadowed the night to come. We ordered our drinks and settled in for stop number one. From India Pale Ales and hard kombuchas to ciders, it was clear we all had our individual tastes.
An atmosphere of shared optimism blanketed the group as we chatted, laughed, and sipped. In addition to our drinks, Tommy and Decheng ordered a couple of flatbread pizzas — a little something to slow us down before we really got going.
As we finished up our drinks, we raised the anchor, unfurled our sails, and set our compass headings for the next stop on the list: Dirty Birds.
Stop 2: Dirty Birds
As we made our way over, we were joined by two new mateys: Andre and Claire, the most reliable shipmen a captain could ask for. Dirty Birds was just the place for a gang of swashbucklers like us. With loud music, sports, and most importantly, a wide range of beers to choose from, it was the perfect place for us pirates to get our drink on. I set my eyes on the glorious chrome-tipped beer tap labeled “Mango Cart” and immediately knew what I wanted. After ordering, a few of us went outside to find seating while we waited for the rest of the crew.
“Ship’s log, place number two: Dirty Birds. How are we feeling?” I asked.
“Is this on the record?” asked Curtis.
“Yes, it is.”
“Chicken jockey! Flint and steel!” exclaimed Curtis.
We shared a laugh, and I took a long sip from my Mango Cart before letting out a hearty, satisfied sigh. Morale was high, and the alcohol was flowing; I was already feeling buzzed — certainly there was no chance of a ship mutiny in our future. But, maybe it was too soon to say. After all, we had five more stops on our voyage. So, two beers deep, off we went toward our next stop: Crafted at Minerva’s Cafe, an eatery with a humble selection of alcoholic drinks.
Stop 3: Crafted at Minerva’s cafe
With confident — albeit a bit unsteady — steps, we reached the glorious Franklin Antonio Hall. Admittedly, the beverage menu was a bit sparse. Our options were limited, and we all decided to get Sapporo beers. But when I went up to the counter to place my order, I was met with terrible news from the attending staff: The Crafted portion of Minerva’s Cafe was closed — an hour and a half earlier than they were supposed to.
This devastating revelation dealt a damaging blow to the crew’s morale as we walked out of the main entrance, tails between our legs.
However, we were determined to not let this minor hiccup get us down. We still had four more places to go to. Besides, some crew members had better ideas.
“I think the move might be to get double at Ridgewalk Social,” posited Chris.
We all happily agreed and wasted no time in traveling to our next stop. But what lay ahead of us was perhaps our toughest challenge yet: the Voigt Drive hill. A harrowing walk for even the soberest of sailors, it was sure to be an arduous climb for us. But the promise of the greatest riches known to any college student — beer — motivated us. We merrily marched down into the valley, buzzed and emboldened. We watched as the sun sank low on the horizon and illuminated the treasure that awaited us on the other side.
“We are undeterred!” we chanted. “Steady on!”
Stop 4: Ridgewalk Social
After the treacherous walk along the Voigt Drive hill, we were all looking forward to a cold pint. Or, so we thought. Upon arrival, we were met with a sight that drained all the drunkenness out of my system. That Friday was UCSD’s men’s volleyball game against Long Beach, meaning that Ridgewalk Social, the only place nearby that served alcohol, was absolutely packed.
We had a decision to make: Do we wait in line and risk sobering up even more? Or do we stop by Showa Ramen first, wait out the game, and come back? We chose the former and reluctantly got in line.
We stood for what felt like hours, inching closer and closer to what we came here for. At the front of the line, I quickly identified the highest alcohol content beer available, a 7.7% alcohol by volume “Stone Delicious IPA,” and ordered it. Contrary to its name, it was absolutely disgusting. It tasted like bitter medicinal leaves mashed into a glass of soda water. I almost set it aside, but then I remembered the core tenets of our great adventure. Why would I want to complete this journey sober?
As we drank, the group decided to expedite our drunken states by playing our favorite drinking game that we invented: Wage Cage. The rules involve fingers, counting, and of course, drinking. And while our night had started off with casual sipping, the crew had evolved into something more like chugging. And just like that, we had eliminated any chance of a sober walk over to our next stop.
Stop 5: Showa Ramen
Now three drinks in, we reached the point of no return. Whatever ounce of dignity we had left, we threw out the door. We didn’t even care that the only beer they had on the menu was a bottle of Sapporo. In fact, we celebrated it, cheers-ing several times and chanting “Sugoi!” For those who don’t know, “sugoi” means “wow” in Japanese. It does not mean cheers. We didn’t know why we kept doing this.
Seconds later, Curtis snuck up behind me and not so gently tapped the bottom of his bottle on mine, causing it to overflow. I acted with the reaction time of a sloth on Xanax, and unfortunately, some liquid was lost.
At this point, I had forgotten how many beers I had. Was this my fourth? These fries are delicious. Oh, nice, they’re building a beer tower. I love my friends. On to the next place!
Stop 6: Shores Diner
The walk over was not without incident. Decheng pushed me down Sun God Lawn and jumped over my helpless body as I rag-dolled down the hill. I quickly dusted myself off, ready to make him walk the plank for attacking me, but he was long gone.
Slightly sobered up from the tussle, we made it to Shores — only to find out it was closed. Hearing a commotion from inside, however, Tommy knocked on the door.
A man with a full, bushy beard came out and informed us that he was Matt, the manager, and they were celebrating his birthday. Just as we were about to call it quits, Tommy asked the question, “What’s the best place to grab a beer on campus?”
“Shores, of course!” Matt responded.
We informed him of our mission, and he invited us inside. We had clearly interrupted the party, and all of a sudden our valiant crew stood out like little minnows in a sea of sharks. But Matt quickly got to work, grabbing several shot glasses, and began filling them with god knows what.
“Hey, and remember it’s [f—] Mike and [f—] Dirty Birds, alright?”
We all cheered and started singing “Happy Birthday.” We then chanted “[F—] Mike!” before downing our mystery shots. Being sure not to overstay our welcome, we — I — paid the tab, and Matt quickly ushered us out to resume his own festivities. We only had one more stop to go, but Curtis and Andrew, two of the bravest souls on that night’s journey, had to part ways with us for the night. So, we said goodbye and soldiered on to our final stop, Mission Brewing, which is all the way on the graduate campus. Navigating only with the stars in the night sky, off we ventured.
Stop 7: Mission Brewing
Shores Diner was the climax to an epic night, and Mission Brewing was the perfect place to settle down. With a relaxing atmosphere, outdoor fireplace lounge, and cozy lighting, it was reminiscent of the beginning of our journey at The Loft. However, we were all much more drunk now. I spilled my beer — a Margarita sour mix — all over the table. I didn’t even need that last drink anyway.
It was time to go home.
The walk back was anything but uneventful. I was attacked for a second time. Completely, definitely, 100% unprompted. Decheng, my roommate and loyal comrade, had me in a defensive takedown, and before I knew it, we were in an all-out brawl on the floor. I tapped out after I lost my shoe. I couldn’t believe my own crewmate launched a one-man coup on me.
Maybe that’s just what friends do. We fight, cry, and laugh, but in the end, it’s all about where you find community. As we stumbled back home, I thought about how crazy it was that this came together. I was surrounded by friends new and old; whether they were my friends from high school, randomly assigned freshman year roommates, or last-minute friends, we were all here together, sharing a drink. I don’t know if it was just the alcohol, but it made me strangely warm inside. If there were any kind of lesson to be learned today, I would say that, yes, alcohol does make everything much more fun. But it takes the right group of friends to make it into an adventure.
