Editor’s note: The following is a satirical article for The DisreGuardian, a series of articles published annually for The Guardian’s April Fool’s issue. Features will resume publishing normal content next week.
NIH lost funding;
research cut down.
UCSD research impacted.
Only three words
in each line.
Trump emphasizes efficiency
in a quote.
“No more research,”
Trump said curtly.
DEI, transgender research
both impacted first.
Word count next.
RFK pitches in:
“No like vaccines.”
Vaccine and immunization
likely impacted next.