Soldier, do you copy? It’s almost finals week, which means that you’ve fallen victim to one too many traumatic scenarios while stationed here at camp UC San Diego. If you’ve become too much like the “thousand-yard stare” meme, we need to pull you out of the trenches.
As a graduating senior, I’ve seen it all — from a war-torn Geisel Library and desperate online grade calculations to friends who rub it in your face that they’re leaving for break earlier than you. Before I fly back to my home base for the holidays, I have one last mission to complete: Rescue you — and your sanity — by imparting advice for the various finals week scenarios you might find yourself in.
When you’re trying to make it to Geisel’s 7:30 a.m. opening time, but there are already people trampling each other to snag their coveted study spot:
If that early morning chaos resurfaces your trauma from Black Friday shopping, keep calm and carry on. But if this is your first time on the front lines, print that phrase on a poster or set it as your desktop wallpaper. Do what you must to remember to avoid the chaos of studying at Geisel during peak week. If you happen to pass by it, don’t make eye contact with the overcaffeinated, sleep-deprived studiers. Muffle their screams by equipping yourself with noise-cancelling headphones, and if you don’t have a pair, your fingers ought to do the job! Whatever happens, you must carry on and find protection under the shelter of an off-campus study spot, perhaps selecting from Lifestyle’s handy guide, written by Contributing Writer Ashley Djunaedi.
When your calculations say that you need a 103% on the final to pass the class:
This situation is a bit more out of my hands, and to your disappointment, I don’t have enough power to beat the numerical odds. Your professor or teaching assistant, on the other hand, does have access to a secret coding system called the gradebook. If you’re feeling bold this finals season, shoot them an email to discuss your options for getting that grade up. A persuasive message could share a couple obstacles you’ve battled this quarter as well as your genuine care for the course. They might reply that college doesn’t have as many extra credit opportunities as high school. Although this could compel you to shoot back a sassy response, hold off and instead plan on calculating your grades far earlier in the quarter — that is, next quarter, when you’re retaking the class.
When friends are already heading home for the holidays, but you still have 3 finals, 2 projects, and a presentation left:
Some may say that it’s motivating to see others being discharged early. But when you’re in the trenches, taking wobbly steps on the way to take your hardest final, and somebody’s XXL suitcase rolls over your toe? Oh, boy. One starts to wonder if they really need to depart that early for an extra four days of break. I suggest that you channel that rage into gratitude for deserted study spots instead. When campus is emptier, you really see how beautiful La Jolla can be, especially as the winter breeze brushes over the eucalyptus trees. Stay strong with fellow soldiers still drifting through the battlefield, and meditate on all that there is to appreciate about “me time” in college as you prepare for the chaos of being home during the holidays — and with that, the greater risk of running into your hometown ex.
When you defied my order to steer clear of Geisel and the fire alarm forces you to venture out into the wilderness for the 5th time in 1 hour:
With the way that these evacuations keep testing your endurance, you must feel like you’re in boot camp. If you’ve been ordered to file out of Geisel, yet again, take the hint from your senior officer and actually head off this time. Why be teased by a breath of fresh air and the touch of a blade of grass when you can stay outside and soak it all in? Make this evacuation your last, and take it as a sign that you could benefit from a little movement outdoors. Even if you’re really cramming, you can multitask by tuning into a class podcast while hiking (may I suggest Iron Mountain?), laying bare on Black’s Beach, or bundling up for that empty campus walk.
When you thought you fell asleep for 5 minutes, but it’s actually been 2 hours and now Canvas won’t let you submit your final project:
It’s tempting to sit at your desk for an additional 45 minutes, contemplating what went wrong and secretly questioning if your roommate is an enemy spy for not waking you up. If you find yourself in this pickle, you’re better off snoring the stress away. I promise that you still deserve to get a good night’s sleep and that you’ll be even more persuasive while begging for late credit the following day. To prevent another traumatic moment like this, you can try tricking yourself by setting all of your clocks a couple hours early. A friend of mine attests to this method, and it’s keeping her on top of her assignments. Just be careful with how much you’re dialing away from our time zone — you might find yourself waking up to watch the New York morning news.
When the annual finals scream is over, but the screaming in your head isn’t:
All jokes aside, this academic season is a particularly difficult one because of the constant gloomy weather, the frantic holiday stress, and the current state of sociopolitical climate. For my last bit of finals week advice, I encourage you to advocate for yourself, the person trudging through all of this turmoil. Take breaks, celebrate, and daydream about the holiday season. Grades are important, but happiness is more meaningful.
Soldier, you’re almost out of the trenches! Until then, stay strong. I wish you a safe journey back to your home base, where you can wholly recuperate before we take on our next mission together.
