We open on a setting sun. A man is buttoning his tie and putting in his hearing aids as the gentle thrums of a guitar ease in. This jarring, but welcome, cinematic start is unlike any “Bachelor” intro we’ve seen before … This is the start of a new kind of bachelor: “The Golden Bachelor.”
It’s been 6 years since Gerry Turner, a 72-year-old Indianan — and the first golden bachelor — was with his beloved wife of 43 years. Just after they retired and bought their “Notebook”-esque lake house, a bacterial infection quickly sent Gerry’s wife to the hospital, and eight days later, she passed away. Now, I should preface by saying that reality television and, quite frankly, dating isn’t typically my thing: I struggle to believe that a relationship formed in such an inorganic environment can realistically transfer to life after the show. Well, any hopes of me leaving with a still in-tact sense of superiority from “not falling for it” slipped away a measly three minutes in as both Gerry and I cried over the fact that his wife never enjoyed her dream house. Non-“Bachelor” lovers are no match for these violin-laced B-rolls. Now Gerry’s ready to find someone to spend the rest of his life with, and his daughters, granddaughters, and I are fully supportive of his journey to find love … again.
Before watching the show, I called my mom to tell her about “The Golden Bachelor.” “It’s the same concept, but this year’s bachelor is in his seventies!” To which she vehemently exclaimed, “That’s disgusting! How’s that allowed?!” It is at this point that I feel the need to clarify: the female contestants are, thankfully, also in their seventies (over 200 in Hollywood years). With the scant knowledge I had of other reality shows and the beautiful, paralyzed faces they feature, I was looking forward to this “golden” generation and watching foreheads that moved and had for years. But, as the cringe-inducing introductions began, one thing became plainly clear: it’s 70-year-olds like I’ve never seen before. Preventative or not, there’s just as much botox, but their age-defiance is more than just skin-deep: they’re full of spunk, sass, and smiles and will surely make you feel old unless you, too, rollerblade and teach dance on the reg.
Other than it being a reality show (and about dating for that matter), the show sounded up my alley. After all, I tend to share an eerie amount of similarities with this generation of ladies. We both honor early bedtimes, lack a filter, and, to quote one contestant, haven’t “kissed a guy in forever.” If I were to ever attempt joining “Bachelor” nation, now would be the time.
I don’t know why I assumed that with age comes innocence. Although the women of “The Golden Bachelor” are more adept at concealing mean-girl behavior, the jealousy and fighting quickly catches up to that of the younger “Bachelor” seasons. Even seniors know that any good sentence starts with “I don’t want to be mean, but…”, and Kathy (70, Austin TX) has my favorite follow up: “I can’t tell if Theresa is dumb as a rock, or knows exactly what she’s doing.” This may be this generation’s first crack at reality television, but, when it comes to fighting for a man, these ladies are no amateurs … except for, maybe, Theresa — Kathy will have to get back to us on that one. The similarities don’t stop there. There’s just as much glitter, just as much kissing, and just as much drama. Although, I will say, “The Golden Bachelor” has a certain refreshing air of sophistication. These women are described as “poised” rather than “cute.” Surprisingly, sentences can stand on their own without “like” or “literally” (but you wouldn’t know that talking with me). Still, my favorite difference is this: during the first Rose Ceremony, Gerry is seen crying after voting off some women, whereas a young Bachelor from a previous season can be seen smiling and saying, immediately after, “This is awesome.”
While I’m still not entirely fond of the concept, I’ve been enjoying “The Golden Bachelor” in the same way I think a lot of people my age have been. We feel untouched by the ravages of time and watch “old people” with naive amusement, finding any sign of normal, human behavior “adorable.” I think if you’re considering watching “The Bachelor,” you might as well start it off right with “The Golden Bachelor:” it’s easier to trust the intentions of contestants who have done the whole love thing before, have more to lose, and don’t have social media followers to gain.
Image courtesy of ABC
