It’s too bad for Katie Holmes that this is one problem she can’t blame on her fist-pumping, couch-hopping man Tom Cruise or his questionable Scientology spiel.

The former teen queen doesn’t quite realize that her expressionless, just-stand-there-and-look-pretty “Dawson’s Creek” method of “acting” simply pales when compared to such a powerhouse cast (Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson and Michael Caine). Holmes’ blank countenance remains annoyingly impassive throughout “Batman Begins,” with only a ridiculously wide-eyed expression sprinkled here and there to inform the audience that the explosive police chases or dangerous mugging she’s involved in could potentially be life-threatening. She is horridly miscast to play passionate attorney Rachel Dawes, aka Batman’s sweetheart. In fact, the much prettier and more effeminate Cilian Murphy, who played the villain Scarecrow, would have been better cast as Batman’s love interest. Holmes’ presence is so utterly lackluster that it’s no wonder that Batman himself, a predictably horny and virile superhero, forgets to sleep with her.

Even Cruise’s capricious, crazy exuberance would have been better than Holmes’ comatose performance. We’d even throw in the couch for free.