TODAY’S NUMBER ONES
Box Office: “Black Phone 2”
Billboard Hot 100: “The Fate of Ophelia” by Taylor Swift
Billboard 200: “The Life of a Showgirl” by Taylor Swift
The New York Times Best-Seller List: “Mate” by Ali Hazelwood
TODAY’S NUMBER ONES, 10 YEARS AGO
Box Office: “Goosebumps”
Billboard Hot 100: “The Hills” by The Weeknd
Billboard 200: “Unbreakable” by Janet Jackson
The New York Times Best-Seller List: “The Survivor” by Vince Flynn and Kyle Mills
IN MEMORIAM
Robert Redford (1936 – 2025): Oscar-winning American actor, director, and producer
Diane Keaton (1946 – 2025): Oscar-winning American actress, author, and fashion icon
Ace Frehley (1954 – 2025): founding member and lead guitarist of American glam rock band Kiss
D’Angelo (1974 – 2025): Grammy-winning American R&B artist
Sam Rivers (1977 – 2025): founding member and bassist of American nu-metal band Limp Bizkit
CHRONICALLY ONLINE
TikTok creators have been pranking their significant others using AI-generated images of a homewrecker making themselves comfortable in their house. These flirty home invaders come in many forms: hot lumberjack, hot plumber, hot yoga instructor — you get the gist. Try it for yourself and go viral … or don’t.
‘WE SHOULD ALL KNOW LESS ABOUT EACH OTHER’
Twitch streamer Fandy became the first person to give birth live on Twitch, on a “World of Warcraft”-tagged stream, no less. It takes a certain “millennial”-esque delusion to livestream your child’s entry into the world to more than 20,000 strangers. Personally, I thank God every day I’m not one of them.
Which 2026 Super Bowl halftime show are you watching? Bad Bunny vs. Turning Point USA
Reggaeton sensation Bad Bunny will make history at next year’s halftime show as the first-ever Spanish-language headliner. In classless fashion, Christian-right-aligned Turning Point USA is throwing a counterprogram: “All-American Halftime Show.” It’s absurd, performative outrage at its finest, and it’s a reminder that our country will never fail to turn culture into a battle.
ChatGPT will soon be able to sext with verified adults, says Sam Altman
Starting Dec. 2025, OpenAI will roll out features allowing users to engage in more “mature” interactions with ChatGPT. With a complete 180 on company policy, OpenAI is unashamed in its intended demise of human ingenuity and relationships. Way to go, free markets!
‘Bridgerton’ Season 4 will be released in two parts in 2026. Thanks a lot, Netflix.
The Netflix curse of staggered release dates is here to stay, with “Bridgerton” Season 4 parts 1 and 2 premiering on Jan. 29 and Feb. 26, respectively. Thankfully, production company Shondaland has also blessed us with dreamy “Benedict and Sophie” sneak peeks to obsess over in the meantime.
Marriage day twins: Markiplier and Caitlin Reilly
On Sept. 20, legendary YouTuber, filmmaker, and podcaster Markiplier and TikTok comedy creator Caitlin Reilly married their long-time partners, Amy Nelson and Evan Eggers, respectively. In the words of one fan, “RIP to 10 million parasocial relationships.” Congratulations, you four!
Kentucky sues Roblox for allegedly endangering child safety. Are we surprised?
This month, the state of Kentucky joined Louisiana in suing online gaming platform Roblox over its complicity in the sexual exploitation and grooming of children. Meanwhile, the company had the audacity to host a career event on UC San Diego’s campus last Monday. Dear Roblox: keep your crusty hands off minors and off our engineers.
Betting with ‘blood money’ on WNBA players: Not all men, but always men?
In a disturbing trend, male gamblers are betting on WNBA players’ performances based on their menstrual cycles in a practice called “period betting.” Sports betting influencers like FadeMeBets insist they’ve cracked the code, using moon phases and “intuition” to guess who’s “taking it easy.” Experts can call this simple pseudoscience, but I call it the most creative way to lose money and insult women at the same time.
Kim Kardashian plants a bush where no one asked for it
Kim K’s new “Bush Thong” for SKIMS features a printed patch of pubic hair. It’s sold as bold and cheeky, but we all know a flashy cash grab when we see it. No one actually needs this, but Kim seems hell-bent on making your underwear drawer look like a Home Depot garden aisle.
Prince Andrew relinquishes royal titles amid Epstein scandals
Prince Andrew has officially handed back his royal titles, including Duke of York, after discussion with King Charles III. His titles and formal duties may be gone, but the headlines and public scrutiny aren’t going anywhere.
Hasan Piker allegedly shock-collars his dog on a livestream
The leftist Twitch streamer is under fire for scolding his “incredibly spoiled” dog, Kaya, who yelped in pain after stepping off her placemat during a Twitch stream. Piker later admitted to owning a “vibration-only” shock collar for training purposes, but many report seeing Piker reach for something off camera just before Kaya’s yelp.
Trisha Paytas will star in Euphoria Season 3 and ‘Beetlejuice’ on Broadway
The forever uncancellable influencer is gearing up for her biggest year yet. Set to appear in the new season of HBO’s “Euphoria” and as Maxine Dean in Broadway’s “Beetlejuice,” Paytas will leave her mark on every corner of the entertainment world next year.
Keira Knightley ‘was not aware’ of the ‘Harry Potter’ boycott when she joined the series’ audiobook cast
In a recent viral interview, actress Keira Knightley laughed when asked about the J.K. Rowling boycott, apparently blissfully unaware of why many are upset. Nothing says “how not to handle controversy” quite like giggling at a global conversation about trans rights.
