I previously only knew about the eccentricism of the two leads in “Grey Gardens” — Big and Little Edie — through pop culture references, namely, Jinkx Monsoon’s brilliant characterization of Little Edie on Season 5 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and a brief scene in a Thanksgiving episode of “Gilmore Girls,” where we see a glimpse of the chaotic, yet enthralling dynamic between the two women.
This winter break, I finally sat down to watch the 1975 documentary in its true form. Instead of becoming immersed in the campy, lively universe that “Grey Gardens” is so often remembered for, I found it to be a tragic tale of two mentally ill women living in squalor and delusion, all playing out in front of a camera lens that refuses to help.
The documentary follows mother “Big Edie” and daughter “Little Edie,” both named Edith Beale. The duo is more widely known as the aunt and cousin of former First Lady Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy. At the time of the documentary, the two were living as outcasts of New York’s high society, forced to leave behind their lives of debutante balls and expensive jewelry in exchange for the rotting walls of their East Hampton home. Filmmakers Albert and David Maysles capture the intimate lives of Big and Little Edie by focusing on stories of the past, delivered by the two Edies and their peculiar habits in their current living situation.
Big Edie laments her unmarried daughter, mourning Little Edie’s past beauty and her current lack of relationship and children. At the same time, Little Edie consistently names past lovers that she could have had a life with, if it weren’t for Big Edie’s nitpicking. Big Edie’s fixation on minor details about each man repeatedly crushed Little Edie’s chances at love or marriage. Little Edie also blames Big Edie for the end of her dancing career after Big Edie’s insistence that Little Edie ditch show auditions to live with her.
Both women exist in a warped vision of the present and desperately cling to their past lives as high-society women. Big Edie continues to sing her old “Tea for Two” record in remembrance of her early days as an opera singer, while Little Edie relentlessly flirts with every young man she encounters, insisting they all want to sleep with her. The two Edies’ story is one of the classic controlling mother and thwarted daughter trope. However, despite their persistent fighting and bickering and underlying hatred for each other, they are extremely codependent and desperately grab onto each other out of a fear of abandonment. All they have is each other.
The two women are mesmerizing, with big and vibrant personalities that are difficult not to love. We laugh at their bickering, representing a familiar mother-daughter relationship that is both relatable and charming to many. We are enthralled by the way the two Edies are so unabashedly themselves, free and full of life.
At the same time, seeing the intimate details of their lives feels shameful. Both Big and Little Edie are clearly dealing with mental illnesses, living in a filthy and mold-filled home, and eating a diet of ice cream and cat food. The Grey Gardens property is overrun by cats and raccoons, and Little Edie is forced to dump a bag of Wonder Bread on the floor in hopes that the raccoons don’t eat them alive in their sleep. The camera lens follows the pathetic state of their lives, but it refuses to do anything to provide the help they so desperately need.
This raises a number of ethical questions about the “Grey Gardens” documentary. The subject of the documentary is the unique story of two very real women presented in a piece of media meant for entertainment. Is it acceptable to film these two mentally declining women in their most vulnerable states, opening their private lives for public enjoyment and speculation? Or is it simply exploitative?
Simultaneously, the two Edies seem to bask in the light of the camera, welcoming the Maysles into their world at Grey Gardens. They don’t mind the attention at all, nor do they ask for any help. They appear happy. Would it have been better to interfere and save them from themselves, or was it right to let them continue living their filth and squalor because they seemed content with their lives?
In the aftermath of “Grey Gardens,” Big and Little Edie have been amplified as gay icons and are remembered for their eccentric, larger-than-life personalities. People flock to the Grey Gardens property for a glimpse at the memory of the two Edies. They fight over the two women’s belongings at estate sales, and the memorable lines told in the “Grey Gardens” documentary are constantly quoted. In the drag community, in particular, Little Edie’s famed flag dance is a common performance.
Despite its questionable ethics, perhaps the Maysles’ documentary was necessary to keep the memory of the two Edies alive. Big and Little Edie did not wither away in Grey Gardens. They have not been forgotten and outcast like they had been from New York’s high society. They are remembered as cultural icons, and we continue to talk about and love them today.
