Warning: This article contains spoilers for Euphoria season one and episodes one and two of season two

Now that Euphoria season two is being released, it’s time for us all to reflect on what is really important: discussing which Euphoria characters would be in which UC San Diegocolleges. Unfortunately, I’ve never seen any Euphoria character actually study, so them going to UCSD is just a fun way to use your imagination. That being said, which characters will be competing alongside you at Unolympics next year? Let’s find out! 

Roger Revelle College: Maddy Perez

Maddy would love Revelle because it was the first college to be founded at UCSD. She loves to be the best of the best, and what better represents that than Revelle’s extensive history? Though Revelle isn’t known to be the most social college, Maddy would have made a group of close-knit friends within the first week. Those girls would be her ride-or-die ‘till she graduated. She would definitely spend time standing on the balconies in the Breezeway,looking down on her peers. 

John Muir College: Rue Bennett

I feel like Rue would absolutely love the vibe of Muir. She would definitely sit in the courtyard, beneath all of the giant trees and vine-covered buildings, and do whatever she loves to do. I also think she would love the central location because it would allow her to explore the campus without going too far from home. Muir would give Rue a great space to start fresh and find her community. 

Thurgood Marshall College: Kat Hernandez

Kat probably sorted the colleges semi-randomly during her application process because she was very busy during her junior and senior years of high school. However, she ended up liking Marshall more than she thought she would. The lighter GE load let her focus on making even more money than she did in season one of Euphoria. However, I do worry that her roommate would be weirded out by the way she makes her passive income. 

Earl Warren College: Nate Jacobs

Sorry, Warren students. Nate probably would’ve been drawn to Warren due to its prestigious reputation and impressive list of alumni. However, his impression of the college would quickly fade once he realizes how far away he is from Maddy. This man is super possessive, and would not be able to handle having to walk 10 minutes to see his on-again, off-again girlfriend. Honestly, I think being in Warren would help Nate a lot, seeing that one of the college’s goals is “striving towards a life in balance.” From what we saw in season one, Nate could do with a bit of balance. 

Eleanor Roosevelt College: Cassie Howard

I feel like Cassie would have applied to UCSD with Revelle or Marshall as her first choice because she wanted to stick with Maddy or Kat. After ending up in ERC, she probably would have been a bit sad due to separating from her friends, especially Maddy (because Maddy is “her best friend”). However, given some time, she would learn to love ERC. She wouldn’t even mind being far away from her friends because, honestly, it doesn’t look like their friendship means that much to her anyways. 

Sixth College: Fezco

I feel like this one is kind of self-explanatory. Fez knows everyone and everyone knows Fez, so it would make sense that he is in one of the most social colleges on campus. Fez loves to have fun, so he would definitely enjoy hanging out with Sixth students. If he went to UCSD, he would probably have to stop being a drug dealer, but honestly, that’s for the best. 

Seventh College: Jules Vaughn

And finally, my favorite character. We all know that Jules wanted to go to fashion school at Parsons, but if she didn’t, she would (obviously) be in Seventh College at UCSD. Since Jules loves being in the city, she would probably appreciate that Seventh is on the edge of campus, making it easy for her to come and go. She probably wouldn’t mind that Seventh is so far from everything because she rides her bike everywhere anyways. Let’s just hope she doesn’t take the trolley to Mexico and leave Rue behind again.

Photo by Peter Bucks from Unsplash