Staff writer Medha Upadhyay shares her predictions for the new New Girl podcast.

After being bugged by my friends for years, I finally caved and watched “New Girl.” Some part of my brain really thought that a seven season long show about a woman moving into a loft with three men would be the perfect addition to my first in-person quarter at UC San Diego. And honestly? It was. “New Girl” is full of hilarious one-liners, soothingly stupid plot lines, and lovable characters. It’s a comfortable show that I was able to slip into between classes, or as a quick study break whenever I felt a little overwhelmed.

Just days after finishing the series, I was greeted by the news that Zooey Deschanel, Hannah Simone, and Lamorne Morris are launching a brand new podcast, “Welcome to Our Show.”  The show, which will be available starting Jan. 24, will feature the trio rewatching all seven seasons of New Girl. And so, here are some things that “New Girl” needs to address, more than ten years after it originally aired.

Major spoilers ahead!

Winston’s Father
This is pretty self-explanatory, but who is Winston’s father? Winston finding out that his father was a policeman and then deciding to track him down was a huge part of his emotional growth in Season 6. When Jess steps in to help in Season 7, she accidentally ends up “reuniting” Winston with a complete stranger. Jess made a genuine mistake, but it’s a mistake that could be easily rectified, especially since Winston’s wife, Aly, has already put her detective skills to use to find his name and address. So what exactly is going on with Winston’s real father? Why didn’t we get to see him? I’m banking on the hope that this wasn’t just all orchestrated for the sake of comedy, but if it was, I’m going to need somebody to point out the deeper meaning to me. Also, why did everyone in the loft have daddy issues? In hindsight, this seems super odd and maybe something we need to unpack.

Political Correctness
Yes, “New Girl” isn’t that old, but I will be floored if they somehow make it through a rewatch without at least addressing all the problematic jokes. A lot of the jokes centered around Cece, Jess’s Indian best friend. I cannot really see Deschanel, Simone, and Morris laughing off lines like “I’ll convert to Indianism,” in 2022. What makes it even worse is that the majority of these offensive lines are delivered by Schmidt, who ends up marrying Cece. Schmidt also ends up being the butt of countless questionable jokes, most of which center on him being Jewish or his penchant for fancy clothes and grooming. Complicating matters further are the many scenes in which actor Max Greenfield dons a fat suit to play college-aged Schmidt, even though “fat Schmidt” was an important part of his character development. Sprinkle in some casual misogyny from Nick and you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster. While some of these jokes could have been for character development, most of them were poorly executed. The writers never fully condemned these “jokes” and left the interpretation up to the audience. These throwaway moments are the biggest flaw in New Girl and one of the main reasons that I struggle to recommend this show to anyone. It’ll be interesting to see how the podcast handles this, but I’m definitely expecting a response of some sort.

Cameos
Switching to a more behind-the-scenes approach, I am definitely expecting plenty of stories about the numerous cameos on “New Girl.” From Taylor Swift to Prince to Gordon Ramsey, “New Girl” had an impressive amount of celebrity cameos. My personal prediction is a podcast cameo from Olivia Rodrigo discussing her scenes on the show. I don’t know if she was more of a celebrity or just an extra back in 2016, but when I watched it in 2022, it definitely counted as a cameo. Odds are slim to none, but if it happens, just know you heard it here first. 

Engram Pattersky
Circling back to Winston, I need answers about the Engram Pattersky prank. In the show’s final episode, Jess and Nick are forced to empty the loft when they receive an eviction notice. The finale serves as a fitting end to the series that began with Jess moving into the loft. However, at the very end of the episode, the whole thing is revealed to be an elaborate prank orchestrated by Winston. It’s never explained why Winston would do this and I just need them to confirm that it was because he knew that Jess and Nick needed to settle into a home of their own and not because he was just messing around. Please.

The Pepperwood Chronicles
“The Pepperwood Chronicles” is the book series that launched Nick’s writing career; in the three year break Seasons 6 and 7, his work sells thousands of copies, and he even embarks on a world tour to meet his adoring fans. This is all well and good, but the real question is: where can I hear more about “The Pepperwood Chronicles?” This ones a bit odd, but hear me out. We know that the characters in the book are all based on Nick’s friends and we’ve seen him go through all the ups and downs to get these books out into the world. So how fun would it be to hear Julius Pepperwood and Jessica Night’s story?

True American
And finally, we need to learn how to play True American. The podcast promo material has already teased this, and I need them to come through on this one. True American is a piece of the show that can be shared easily even with people who aren’t familiar with the show, and it looks like so much fun! Essentially, it is an insanely complicated game that the gang plays — the joke is how difficult the game is to explain; every time someone new is invited to the loft, they inevitably feel left out when the gang starts playing it. The complications in all the rules gives it a great gatekeeping vibe, and it seems like the perfect bonding activity for a tight knit group of friends. I can easily imagine True American becoming a huge hit if they play their cards right. To be completely honest, this will probably be the single biggest reason why people tune in to the podcast so I’m really hoping that they don’t drop the ball on this one. 

Although “New Girl” was a great show, there are definitely still many unanswered questions. This new podcast will hopefully give fans the answers to some of these while also giving them a new way to slip back into a show that they love dearly. I’m excited to see what Deschanel, Simone, and Morris come up with, and I’m looking forward to an engaging and entertaining show that recaptures the chemistry of “New Girl.”

Image courtesy of Disney+.