Do you have a burning desire to know the secrets of the universe? Have an insurmountable problem that desperately needs solving? Are you often confused and scared by day-to-day life? Well, then I suggest you leave. This advice column answers only the most remedial and ridiculous questions solely for the purpose of entertainment. So, unless you suffer from a lack of gossip or bad advice, I suggest you go somewhere else. This is Ask Bradley:
*DISCLAIMER: Some questions that were submitted may have been altered to better fit this article*
- An anonymous first year asks, “My first ever college midterm is tomorrow. What should I do?”
Well, first off, I would like to address to all of my readers out there that if you have time-sensitive questions, please know that I will most likely not respond to them in quite some time — but still submit them because they are comedy gold for me. Regardless, this time of year at UC San Diego is always fraught with anxiety and stress. Here at UCSD, we like to say that midterms are from Week 2 to 10. So, this question remains timeless. My advice is as follows:
There is a local UCSD urban legend stating that if one is able to touch every piece of the Stuart Collection before the start of your midterm, you’ll pass with flying colors. Now this method has its rewards, but not without a cost. This poses quite a challenge as some pieces are far away, too high up, or simply impossible to find. Things like the Warren Bear, the Snake Path, and Stonehenge are all fairly easy. Sun God is under construction, so you may have to sneak in at night. Fallen Star is only open at specific hours. And, pieces like Trees and Red Shoe are in the middle of the woods. However, if you are vigilant and true to your cause, I see nothing but success in your future. Yes, it may be time consuming, but what were you gonna use that time for anyways? Studying? Yeah, right…
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