A Writer’s Eulogy for Modern Love

    This column started as a social experiment. I used my personal life as a guinea pig for the sake of writing. Above all, I am glad I have that ability. I think it will be helpful in my future career even it can be self-depreciating at times. But it’s time I take my personal life out of the press and focus on reality.

    At first I thought I might just have writer’s block. Maybe my life was just a bit uneventful that month and I had nothing to write about. But that’s definitely not the case. I have so much to say about so many things. It has been a year and a half since I started writing This Modern Love, which means I have grown up quite a bit and I have to be more selective with my writing.

    I could tell you in detail how much fun the Guardian’s trip to Las Vegas was this last weekend. I could tell you about the people I spent time with there and how they’re all amazing.

    I could tell you about how my mind has been racing with so many thoughts written all with the sarcastic tone I’ve utilized in the column. But I’m putting sarcasm on the sideline for now and focusing on sincerity (plus, would you really care?)

    Whether in love or war, I have always used sarcasm as a defense mechanism. (My Myspace username circa middle school was even sarcastic_biotch. Yeah, it was that bad.).

    I think this is because I have avoided being 100 percent present for fear of being vulnerable. But to my surprise, I have learned that vulnerability doesn’t have to be so bad. It opens you up to new experiences and emotions. And as much as I hate to admit it, realizing these things makes cliches feel not so cliche.

    I want to thank the Guardian staff for supporting my column and giving me helpful feedback. Your comments mean the most to me. You are my family. Thank you, readers, for coming back every few weeks to read my writing (even if most of the people who read my column are my oh so wonderful and supportive roommates).

    Thanks to all the great and horrible guys that have been in my life to inspire some really interesting stories and experiences. Yes, even Jason* from the article “Jesus, Jail Time and the Three Day Rule.” Even though he put me through a unreasonably weird week, he gave me a lot to think (and write) about.

    I really will miss writing this column. Even though I won’t be writing 600 words periodically on my life anymore, I will continue to think critically about the important things in my life — as we all should.

    But above all else, I am very okay with not having to look at that weird drawing of my face next to my name every few weeks. I am definitely ready to let that die. *Names have been changed.

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