Jesus, Jail Time and the Three Day Rule

    Two weeks ago I went to a Major Lazer concert with a bunch of friends. We had an absolutely amazing time and despite the loud music, huge crowd and my dilated eyeballs, I was able to meet someone. Jason* and I danced a bit, talked, exchanged numbers and went out on a date the following weekend. We got gelato in downtown La Jolla, walked around, made fun of the ridiculous art galleries and had a great goodnight kiss. He wasn’t my usual type (I don’t even really know what that is), but he was funny, handsome and polite. There was also the added bonus that he had absolutely no affiliation with UCSD. And in the three days that followed I didn’t really worry about him texting me because I was pretty sure he would.

    By the fourth day of radio silence, I had given up and decided to let myself feel shitty about it for a few hours and move on. But as I was listening to some Alanis Morissette while straightening my hair (standard girl stuff), I got a text. “Hey what’s up? Sorry I haven’t texted you. The last couple of days have been sort of eventful haha.” I know it’s not very feminist of me, but this validation relieved me. It wasn’t so much about Jason himself, it was more about the satisfaction of being wanted. He ended up having a pretty legitimate reason for not calling… something about being arrested for public intoxication. (Spoiler alert: I don’t end up with this guy.) But despite his criminal record, going on a second date became less important to me now that it was on the horizon. I had essentially got what I had wanted: validation.

    I believe it was Barney Stinson of “How I Met Your Mother” who said, “We wait three days to call a woman back because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.” Well, we all know Barney Stinson is a sleezebag so why are normal guys (i.e. Ted) taking advice from him anyway? I can’t speak for all women but I can speak for most of the women I know when I say that the three-day rule is complete bullshit. It’s a convention designed to make women feel antsy, self conscious and dependent on men for 72 whole hours. Men choose not to call the very next day because they don’t want to seem too eager, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: Women want men to be eager. Maybe not the clingy type of eager, but they want to be wanted. And as long as you don’t profess your love for them on the first date, there’s nothing too eager about calling the next day. That is, unless, you have a good excuse like, I don’t know, being in jail. *Names have been changed.

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