Esquire advises in its every last margin five more ways to avoid looking like an asshole 'mdash; but chances are, if you're still sitting there perusing $500 single-breasted pinstripe and sifting through over-studied, puffed-up variations on calling Halle Berry a sexy bitch, it's too late. As a longtime groupie, I admit we squires think the universe of ourselves and our cutting-edge tastes. Still, as a connoisseur of brilliant, hip-to-the-times nonfiction, I have yet to find a source that beats this rag. Now consider for a second all the bull shit you buy for $8 'mdash; parking, shitty alcohol, a couple lattes 'mdash; and tell me a full year of chest-pounding genius isn't worth the same.

Readers can contact Simone Wilson at [email protected].

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UC San Diego's independent student newspaper since 1967

The UCSD Guardian

UC San Diego's independent student newspaper since 1967

The UCSD Guardian

UC San Diego's independent student newspaper since 1967

The UCSD Guardian