is a wild and strange place,
in particular. Just two weeks ago my good friend Philip (our main Critical Hit!
columnist) and I flew from
across the Pacific to celebrate our spring break in gamer-nerd
Although the country as a whole embraces gaming as a pastime for subway
commutes and after-school arcade showdowns, Tokyo acts as the central hub of
electric excess — and that is where our story takes place. What follows is a
search for the holy grail of gaming, the Japanese Dream and the legendary
Pokemon of lore.
After getting soaked in a torrential downpour trying to
visit the
we decided to cut our sightseeing short and move somewhere drier, preferably
indoors. I suggested we take the metro to Akihabara, a district in
also known by the name
where otaku (Japanese for uber-geeks) frolic in droves. These nerdy kids and
man-children come in many flavors, ranging from the Godzilla toy collector to
the quintessential anime hound. However, we were more interested in the
hardcore gamers, and upon exiting the subway we decided to begin our search at
version of Best Buy, Yodobashi Camera.
A giant pair of cartoon eyes painted on the exterior of the
nine-story building greeted us as we walked into a store showcasing the future
of American technology, three years from now. Cameras, printers, watches,
laptops; there were gadgets in all directions, perfectly organized and
screaming to be played with. The Battle Hymn of the Republic (“Glory, glory hallelujah!”)
looped over the store speakers, all traditional song lyrics replaced with a
catchy Japanese arrangement that constantly repeated the words “Yodobashi” and
“Akihabara.”
Giddy with excitement, we rode the escalator round and round
until we finally stepped onto the sixth floor, the otaku floor. An Xbox 360
display looked neglected in the corner, its screens turned off and gathering
dust. Instead, a small group of teenagers gathered around the PS3 to try the
newly released Ryu ga Gotoku Kenzan (coming to
as Yakuza 3), an RPG/fighting epic set in the
period. At the other end of the spectrum, Nintendo DS and Wii nongames had
aisles to themselves. I glanced at the odd box-art and found a game for wine
connoisseurs, some language learning software, a calligraphy game (#1 on the
charts that week) and, of course, Wii Fit in all its gimmicky glory.
Next, we passed through large areas of toy models of
scantily clad women and giant robots, our eyes distracted with perversion and
nerdage. Two aisles were lined only with capsule toy vending machines selling
encased Nintendo characters and plastic-food keychains. Another aisle was
dedicated to hundreds of miniature Pokemon toys. We grabbed handfuls of
merchandise like greedy children and handed our yen to the cashier, bowing in
gratitude. Three hours in Yodobashi was enough; there was more weirdness to be had
outside.
Our backpacks bulged with nerdy purchases as we walked down
the busy sidewalk toward the local Club Sega, a six-floor arcade carrying
everything from tricked-out Virtua Fighter 5 machines to age-old 2D classics. I
bought an ice cream and watched Phil get his ass handed to him in a match of
Virtua Tennis; in under two minutes he had lost three consecutive sets to an
unknown (presumably Japanese) competitor somewhere in the arcade. We had
dishonored our country, so we left — but not before spending a few bills on
crane games with ridiculously cute prizes.
Around the corner from the arcade we came across an odd
phenomenon found only in Japan: the maid cafe. In essence, groups of friends
and young Japanese couples go to a cozy restaurant where all of the waitresses
are dressed up as anime maids. They talk with mouse-pitched voices and act just
like those annoyingly bright-eyed girls in many an otaku’s fantasy. We walked
into the cafe to check it out but were surprised to see a line two floors up a stairwell
to get a table; apparently sexy maids are a big deal in Japan. We were too
hungry to wait, so we took off looking for a place with tasty desserts.
As Phil and I sat on an apartment stoop, each of us with a
portable ice-cream crepe in hand (delicious, and oh-so-trendy among kids), we
pondered the cultural wonders we had just seen. The cherry blossoms were
blooming, there were no clouds in the sky, and our week of nerding out had only
just begun.
