Four years ago, in a general chemistry class, Thurgood
Marshall College senior Annalisa Perez spilled acid on Eleanor Roosevelt
College senior Will Perez’s notebook. Embarrassed, she offered to buy him a new
one. Little did she know, one year later, her acid-spill victim would be her
future husband. Now in their second year of marriage, the Perezes are a college
minority.
They scheduled their wedding around UCSD’s quarter system
and married during spring break of their sophomore year. Despite the stressful
combination of finals and last-minute wedding planning, Annalisa was satisfied
with the timing of her commitment.
“I didn’t want to wait [to get married] because life is
going to get crazier once we start med school and grad school,” Annalisa said.
Despite their situation, the Perezes longed to commit. Just
one year after dating, they both realized that they wanted to get married.
“I know it sounds borderline cliche,” Will said, “but I knew
after the first real deep conversation that we had that I wanted to spend the
rest of my life with her. [My friends] kept on asking, ‘Are you sure? Are you
sure?’ But after I told them that she’s the one, they were more receptive about
it.”
Like the Perezes, Eleanor Roosevelt College junior Carmen
Grageola also married during college.
“The big reason was that I felt I was ready,” Grageola said.
“At age 17, all I wanted to do was go to school. At 18, I did see myself
marrying young.”
Like any college student, Grageola is busy; however, school
is not her main focus. She works approximately 40 hours a week at the UCSD
Bookstore in addition to taking classes. She and her husband — who works two
jobs and is in the Army Reserves — have two young children. While she works and
attends class, her mother and her husband take care of her sons.
With added family responsibilities of her own, Grageola
doesn’t have the concerns of a typical college student.
“Once you get married you don’t think about what to wear,”
Grageola said. “You have to think about what to cook for dinner. [College
students] have the luxury to do what they want to do without having to think
about other people and how it’s going to affect people living in the same
household.”
Although her commitment to her family takes up much of her
time, Grageola manages to study during her lunch breaks and at night, after her
children are asleep.
“When I study I have
to really focus because I know I won’t have a second chance,” Grageola said.
Grageola also has difficulties managing her social life and
can only set aside two hours a month to catch up with her friends. The Perezes
feel similarly about their social ties.
“Just like any
relationship, you want to spend more time with the person so you have to put
other activities aside,” Will said. “First it was friends, then it was working
out and now it’s sleep.”
The Perezes noticed that after their marriage, their
mindsets about schoolwork became more focused and they became less preoccupied
with things that would distract a typical, single college student.
“I realize we have different backgrounds and interests,”
Will said. “I am trying to take notes intently on my laptop while the person
next to me is on MySpace.”
Due to the demanding responsibilities of her family,
Grageola’s interests have also evolved.
“I’m on the side of life where I already did it and I’m
ready for something else,” she said. “Now just having coffee with friends and
having a nice conversation for hours — that’s enough; it’s fulfilling … you’re
settled down and thinking on a different level.”
According to Housing and Dining Services Director Mark
Cunningham, there are 41 married
undergraduates living in the Affiliated Residential Community Housing for
married graduate and undergraduate couples and in university-owned complexes
such as Mesa Apartments and La Jolla del Sol. Thirty-five of the married
undergraduates have children.
While their college lifestyle may have been different from
the majority of their peers’, both Gageola and the Perezes are satisfied with
their decision.
“I do get a little bit jealous, I’m not going to lie … but,
at the same time, I feel so accomplished on so many levels,” Grageola said.
“When I come home I have two little ones that run to me and say, ‘Mommy,’ [and]
that makes up for everything else.”
