The time of year has come again when hippies and hipsters can unite, journeying into California’s own sweltering Indio Valley for one of the world’s largest music festivals: Coachella, in its ninth (and rumored final) year. Over 100 artists are scheduled to perform, but with only three days in which to cram them all, the talent must spread simultaneously across five different stages; in other words, as we all have come to accept, it’s impossible to see every act. Choosing favorites is an arduous task for any swarming mass of altered-state youngsters, and the sweltering heat among ridiculous crowds quickly becomes overwhelming – damn it, when did epic, free-loving concert clusters become so stressful? To ease the pain, here is my personal day-by-day guide, which tries to sort out the major artist conflicts, highlight any unmissable bands and, most importantly, any who warrant a rest in the shade. So tuck that nug in your sock and pack plenty of sunscreen – because we’re going to Coachella, whether we like it or not!
Friday, April 27
To set forth into the desert experience, it’s important to have something brash and invigorating, such as the United Kingdom’s Noisettes, to shake off weary travels. After settling in, stage bounce for the afternoon – to a dose of albino hip-hop madman Brother Ali and smooth country rhythms from Nickel Creek – before facing your first major conflict: Of Montreal versus Tilly and the Wall. The two are similar in their merry, childlike pop, but Of Montreal, with their flamboyant disco and sing-along choruses, give a more varied and unexpected theatrical performance – and since the next mandatory act to catch is the sex-infused techno glitter of Peaches, some light-hearted stage antics are necessary to serve as a buffer. Though her set means missing the lovely Rufus Wainwright, Peaches’ downright filthy dance-beats guarantee a riled-up crowd, eager to writhe all the way to sunset – a perfect way to send off the first afternoon. When the day’s pelvic thrusts come to an end, run over to alt-rap chatterbug Busdriver for some intellectual chill before a school-of-indie-rock lesson from the legendary Sonic Youth, all the while preparing for the hardest decision of the day: Bjork or DJ Shadow? Though famous for virtuosic and extensive live shows, Shadow has already played a bevy of nationwide concerts this year, with more dates in Colorado and Utah on the horizon; Bjork, on the other hand, is a rare live performer – especially stateside – and has material from the soon-to-be-released Volta (with contributions from Timbaland) to show off. Given her eccentric Icelandic spunk and over-the-top showmanship, this small-packaged ball of cosmic energy is guaranteed to make your Friday night the most memorable in a long while.
Saturday, April 28
For the second day, after learning that sleeping on sand dunes isn’t as comfortable as you’d hoped, let the soothing simplicity of the Frames wake you up. After recovery, head over to Hot Chip for some peels of electro-groove and Peter, Bjorn, and John for the best and catchiest of the whistling Swedish new wave. But don’t get too comfortable, because the Decemberists and !!! are both up next. Almost opposites in genre and style, both are hugely popular in their own right: the former promise honest romanticism in their classical, folksy sea-chanties, but the latter hold an unparalleled vigor – with explosions of angry dance/disco funk from their latest gem, Myth Takes, and a roaring, energized stage crowded with all eight core members and countless musical guests. But no need to worry about getting your large-scale indie fix, because the next act is the Arcade Fire, whose heaven-sent soft-harp orchestra (though possibly ditching their in-crowd performance strategy of late) will cradle you through the lazy afternoon hours, making the chaotic mashings of Girl Talk a much-needed pick-me-up before the rock-starring Red Hot Chili Peppers take the stage. Originally listed as a headliner, it’s surprising to see RHCP sandwiched in the middle of the day, especially alongside LCD Soundsystem. And though the electronic lure of LCD is tempting – especially with the recent release of Sound of Silver, one of the year’s best albums – a DJ set is usually far better experienced in the intimacy of a small venue, not a massive field of musically reborn kiddies. RHCP, however, led by the rambunctious Anthony Kiedis, promise a refreshingly familiar, radio-ready lineup complete with crowd surfing and nudity. For the final set, a bluesy jam session from the Black Keys will serve sweetly as a no-frills finale, a masterful music lesson for the gods – and because they’re less popular than other closing acts like The Good, The Bad, and The Queen (including members of the Clash and Gorillaz), you’ll have room to live and breathe up near the stage.
Sunday, April 29
By now, exhaustion has set in – but Pavement-worshipping pop-rockers Tapes ‘n’ Tapes are worth dragging yourself out of the sleeping bag early. Luckily, the third day is clearer than the others, and moving from freak-folking psychedelic fringe band Grizzly Bear to the best-in-live-hip-hop classics of the always-excellent Roots should run semi-smoothly. Later in the day, the battle between country legend Willie Nelson and the Kaiser Chiefs will begin. Though the five British charmers of the Kaiser Chiefs have received a lot of publicity for latest album Angry Mob, the effort falls just short of expectations. Nelson, however, 30 years after joining the iconic ranks, is still testing his rumbling outback-rocker skills, and should provide a more bare, heartfelt experience (assuming he doesn’t go all “”Dukes of Hazzard”” on us). But such will get old fast, so in with the new for the next set – fill your second-wave Brit invasion void with the Klaxons over the less invigorating Placebo. Klaxon’s recent release is pumped full of quick dance beats, so feel free to wear yourself out – there’ll be plenty of time to relax during the soothing ambiance of Air and the zinging instrumental rhythms of recent Pubbers Ratatat. Once rested, prepare for the final stretch, the firework reunion to tie up three days of Coachella madness: Rage Against the Machine, playing together under the California stars after a seven-year separation. Even if trance-hop grinders Spank Rock or alt-rock vets the Lemonheads were to put on a better show, there’s no passing up an opportunity to see if RATM still have the unique, metallic rock/rap/funk chemistry that made them legends.
