The Magazine Subscription by Matthew Leavitt
Fashion: W is a fashion magazine that couples the standard language of fall accessories and must-have frocks with some stunning pictures of scantily clad celebrities. In fact, it won the 2006 National Magazine Award for photography, so you can mention composition and lighting when your girlfriend catches you looking at pictures of a sand-covered Cameron Diaz rolling around on the beach. If you’re going to let a photograph tell you that you, too, can pull off a tunic, at least make it a well-shot one.
Fiction: If the names Haruki Murakami, Holiday Reinhorn or Margaret Atwood peak your interest, Zoetrope is your quarterly. The magazine collects the best of a dying genre, contemporary short fiction, and presents it under the guidance of a guest designer. Each issue is unique and artistically independent, falling somewhere between the pretension of The New Yorker and the readability of Rolling Stone. You can even impress your hipster friends by telling them Kurt Vonnegut used to contribute.
Nerdy Eclecticism: Have you ever been annoyed by that person at a party who has a story for every occasion and a statistic for every story? It seems that, no matter the topic of conversation, they can incorporate the gestation period of a kangaroo mouse or the latest advance in neurological nanotechnology. With Mental Floss in hand, you will become that person. The magazine has how-to guides for summer fun, a section devoted to explaining the cryptic and often terrifying world of art and humanities and the courage to attempt an understandable explanation of modern-day science. Subscribe and join the thick ranks of know-it-alls.
Also consider: Esquire, The Utne Reader, Vanity Fair and National Geographic
The Coffee Table Book by Heather Welles
“”The Macho Man’s Drinkbook””
Nicotext, $19.95
Alcohol and naked girls – what more could the (wannabe) macho man in your life ask for from one gift? In addition to the 60-plus cocktail recipes, the shaggy, diaper-clad man on the cover surrounded by 1970s-Farrah-Fawcett-esque, partially nude women will give any hetero guy hope for his future as a ladies’ man.
“”Mortified: Real Words.
Real People. Real Pathetic.””
David Nadelberg, $14.95
Years of collecting tales on adolescent angst led to this collection of real childhood notes, letters and documents chronicling the lives of America’s youth. Even if you aren’t too far removed from adolescence yourself, this nostalgia-piquing volume might have you closet-diving for your middle school crush confessions, making you happy you grew up in the pre-MySpace era.
“”Guide to Getting It On””
Goofy Foot Press, $19.95
With over 800 pages of straightforward sexual info, this hefty slab of processed trees will answer questions you never thought to ask (mechanics of wheelchair sex, anyone?), and provides commentary from real people to prove that even in your kinkiest hour, you are not alone.
“”Lose Weight! Get Laid! Find God!”” Benrik, $16
Your agenda-happy pal will surely appreciate this preplanned guide to his or her entire life, from birth to age 100 (and no, the last step isn’t death, but Austin Powers’ old friend, cryogenic freezing). This nifty guide includes such life-changing hallmarks as attempting to murder your younger siblings (age 4), going right-wing (age 50 – complete with flow chart!), reuniting your rock band (age 78) and disinheriting your undeserving relatives (age 83).
Tom Waits: Orphans-A toolbox voice that’ll send Santa right back up the chimney. By Simone Wilson
It’s no wonder the newly compiled Orphans – back-burner outtakes dug up, dusted off (not too thoroughly, of course) and used as inspirational fodder for fresher tracks – arrives as more of a thrill than any past Tom Waits album. After all, it’s always been the sweet in-between shorts, the most indecipherable hog snuffles, the coveted live storytellings that have outshone his more instantly whole and beautiful work.
Not that the new collection is near unrealized. As much as he tries to bully these lost children, bruising and burying their timeless melodies beneath layers of stomp-packed sound-grime (as usual), recklessly batting them into labeled yard-sale bins – Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards – and beating them out in low-tech garage studios, he loves the little devils just as much as the rest of us. Their immortal heat cores are only amplified when strained through found, collected and homemade instruments – most unforgettably, a voice seemingly readied with a gritty cup of steeped red-earth clay and sharpened with rusty piano strings, hanging off steady, cacophony-shelled rhythm like the sad-eye folds of the meanest old hound dog.
The biggest surprises are offered up front, all but busting from disc one. Self-proclaimed Brawlers twist, scratch and elbow their way up from inside Waits’ blue suede shoes (or blood-stained galoshes, or mud-caked conductor’s boots) and out from under his funny hat – the man can dance. Turns out, this exhaustingly eccentric weirdo can also humble himself to banging age-old patterns into the drum set (or rather, let his son Casey do so on “”Lowdown””) and writing political anthems with screaming electric guitar riffs and direct Bush bashes (“”Road to Peace””).
Most of the unearthed recordings of old – “”Some of the tapes I had to pay ransom for to a plumber in Russia,”” Waits wrote – show up on the set’s second and third discs. Bawlers revisits Waits’ booze days, when his voice dampened to the point of legibility and dripped over pluckety island strings or his signature smoky-lounge piano. And while covers like the tragic accordion blues of “”Irene Goodnight”” and a deathbed reworking of the Ramones’ “”Danny Boy”” are enough to earn him the throne of Hades, it is on Bastards that Waits is most at home.
Using nothing but larynx-less scratches ripped from a tortured throat, he can tiptoe-creep through the rafters, rifle through the fish market waste pile and catfight with lions. His past throwaways have been transformed into the closest Waits will ever come to a greatest-hits album, his outtakes pigeonholing those along-the-way details that make him so wonderful.
With a flea market this precious available to every kid with $30, Waits can’t hope to long stay hidden out by the railroad tracks, hand-in-hand with the outsider anthems that define him.
D.I.Y. – by Serena Renner
Memorable Mugs:
The whole world drinks coffee, so why not do it in style? Everyone could use a good mug, not only to warm up the chilly winter months, but also to arouse thoughts of you. Spend a few bucks on a coffee cup you can personalize by slipping in family pictures for a relative or college snapshots for a friend. Whether it accompanies its new owner to class or work, a new custom mug will not only help lift energy but also morale.
Customized Calendars:
Kinko’s is good for more than just last-minute copies and birthday cards. It also allows for the easy creation of personalized calendars. All you have to do is pick out one photo for each month of the year, send them in and voila – you have just transformed your yearly calendar idea into a memorable montage.
Recreate The Rules
Everyone knows that games are more fun when you make the rules. That concept has birthed some of the funniest games around. Jenga is one easy game to alter, where one can write drinking tasks or dares onto the pieces to invent drinking, stripping or whatever-you-wish Jenga. If you’re bored with the rules of kings, add personal questions to a deck of cards to increase the excitement and get to know your friends even better. Custom games are great gifts to spruce up any party or Friday night in the dorms. All bets are off; you’re in charge.
“”Superman: Ultimate Collector’s Edition”” – Charles Nguyen
The five film iterations of Big Blue come with standard cast/crew commentary, but the real diamond is the inclusion of Richard Donner’s version of “”Superman II.”” The original cut of the film, as conceived by Donner, was lost in a flurry of Hollywood shadiness (partly, it was Marlon Brando going diva with salary demands). So that makes six movies and 14 discs in this set, piled on with every DVD dressing on which you could possibly gorge, for a listing price under $100. Even I’ll bite, and I think Superman’s a twat.
A Night on the Water – Sneha Bhamre
How about a moonlit kayak trip on Mission Bay? Aqua Adventures gives you two and a half hours of paddling time with only the moon to guide you (well, there’s an actual guide in there too). All you need to bring is a flashlight and some clothes you don’t mind getting wet. Only $35 per person, the trips are held year round – the only requirement is a full moon. See aqua-adventures.com for details.
Adopt-a-Croc – Matthew McArdle
Try something new: Buy that special someone a crocodile. More than just leathery-skinned, slightly terrifying carnivorous reptiles, they’re also highly endangered – and an important part of many deteriorating ecosystems worldwide. For $50 and a quick stop at Oxfamamericaunwrapped.com, you can give someone the gift of helping out a fading species. Your pal gets a picture of the croc, which will be safely raised and subsequently released into areas where the crocodile population has been depleted.
Magic Bullet – Kristyn Kennedy
A blender is a must-have for any college student living in his or her first apartment and, while it may not seem like the most exciting item to unwrap, oftentimes it is the most desirable.
That’s where the Magic Bullet comes in. It’s billed as a “”personal, versatile countertop magician that can do any job in 10 seconds or less”” – all true. The Bullet can do a smoothie in six seconds, a cup of spaghetti sauce in five and most adult beverages in four. Plus, it’s tiny, taking up less counter space than your average coffee mug – the perfect solution for all cramped coeds.
The Season DVD – Charles nguyen
When winter break has you looking for a couch-friendly DVD, a whole season’s worth of television can easily do the most damage to that sofa’s ass groove. HBO’s holiday bucket includes the complete “”Six Feet Under”” series, a 25-disc anthology of the show’s witticisms and black humor, packed into a fancy case resembling a burial plot. That colossal set is flanked by another HBO gem, “”The Sopranos,”” which just released the first half of its 24-episode sixth season. The show’s writers go for the throat by shooting Tony again, hooking Chrissy again and punching Lauren Bacall for the first time (see it to believe it).
Network television makes its run at the holiday market with the fifth season of “”24,”” which won Kiefer Sutherland his first Emmy for the series. This season, the life of Sutherland’s Jack Bauer again goes to shit as he hurdles terrorists and dirty politicians in a one-day race to divert the fifth disaster – this time nerve gas – that he’s seen hit the globe.
But if worldwide implications aren’t your flavor, the more intimate setting of a Beverly Hills high school could be your thing. For ’90s lovers like me, it’s been a tortuous wait for the first season of “”Beverly Hills 90210.”” Fox execs teased us for years by releasing only the series’ first episode on DVD. But now comes all 22 episodes, stuffed full of nostalgia (the Spring Dance, Brenda losing her virginity, Donna starting smoking) that you should be very embarrassed to acknowledge. Oh, wait …
Exclusive!
(red)
This holiday season, Gap has teamed up with PRODUCT (RED) to offer an interesting new line of clothing that creates piles under the Christmas tree while helping African AIDS victims at the same time. If that fashion savvy, philanthropy-minded person on your Christmas list is in desperate need of some new threads, why not a long-sleeved V-neck tee or a cashmere hoodie from Gap? You will be loved for sure when this gift is opened, but more importantly, Gap will send half of the proceeds from your purchase to help those in need. All clothing is 100 percent African cotton, which means you’re helping to employ Africans and feed their families as well. Go to www.gap.com/red and check it out. – Joe Del Porto
Sublime: Sublime (10th Anniversary Deluxe Edition)
For those musical connoisseurs looking to bask in the nostalgia of elementary and middle school, this two-disc cut of the quintessential ’90s album is arranged the way Bradley Nowell originally intended before his death in 1996. Nowell’s demise was probably the decade’s second biggest ripple in rock – only after Cobain – one that has always kept die-hard fans asking, “”What if?”” This re-release gives them a better chance of nearing that magical answer, and is supplemented with a second disc of acoustic demos, alternate takes, remixes, instrumentals and five music videos. – Chris Mertan
“”Reservoir Dogs”” (15th Anniversary Edition)
It’s hard to believe that Quentin Tarantino’s neo-noir is already 15, a film so ironically funny in its ruthless vulgarity and violence that it’s just as fresh today as it was in 1992. After a diamond heist goes awry, four gunmen scramble to a Los Angeles warehouse, where they realize that a rat is lurking among them. In the new edition, the color and sound have been remastered, new commentaries were recorded (one by the cast and crew, another by critics) and the package includes deleted scenes, three complete documentaries on various aspects of the making of the film, a few memoriams for those dogs who have gone to the great kennel in the sky and even a tipping guide. – Chris Mertan
“”The Last Waltz””
Considered by many to be the greatest concert film ever made, “”Waltz”” serves the dual purpose of satisfying both classic rock fans and film buffs, or even your parents if they’re feeling like a nostalgia trip. Shot in 1978 at the farewell concert for The Band, director Martin Scorsese applied then-revolutionary filmmaking tactics to tell the story of a closing era – a funeral dirge, if you will – for what many believe to be rock ‘n’ roll’s finest hour. The guest lineup includes Eric Clapton, Joni Mitchell, Muddy Waters, Van Morrison, Neil Young, Bob Dylan and many more; the sheer vibrancy of the event envelopes you whether the music is familiar or not. The DVD also features an archival outtake of a jam session between some of the greats and a making-of featurette. – Chris Mertan
Assorted T-shirts from Threadless.com
Ever wondered what Darth Vader’s garden would look like? How about what MacGyver’s response would be if there was no toilet paper left on the roll? Thanks to an assortment of cleverly esoteric T-shirts and hoodies available at Threadless.com, you don’t have to wonder anymore. Bright, eye-catching and often humorous, some shirts sport funky patterns or drawings, while others boast dorky yet cute slogans such as “”Fractions speak louder than nerds.”” As seasoned gift-givers are surely aware, the only thing better than a good buy is a good, cheap buy – and at $10 a shirt, it’s easy to sample a few without breaking the bank. With well over 100 designs of equally random goodness to choose from, there’s sure to be at least one perfect shirt for that special someone in need of some geeky wardrobe pizzazz. – Matt L’Heureux
