Buckle down
OK, I’ve got one: Why did the emo kid do so poorly in his karate class? He couldn’t get past the white belt! Hah! But seriously, those white belts don’t just mean emo anymore; instead, they speak for an inner yearning toward hipsterdom. Once, people were embarrassed to show off their emotastic fashion predilections, because being emo was just so damn lame. Though emo remains relegated to the social caste shared by overweight punkers and red-lipped goth hags, the white belt just won’t fucking go away despite its sadcore pedigree. Belt buckles, too, have trumped utility with their hugeness. I remember a time where if someone asked if you wanted to see their new belt buckle, you would avert your eyes, because that was the setup for the “cat brains,” where testicles flashed at the interested party, with hilarious results. Now, they just want you to see their stylized western dinner plate, or an American flag cast in chrome. I’m sorry, but if your belt buckle is the size of an untreated goiter, it should at least be able to hold some whiskey.
— Cody Nabours
Senior Staff Writer
Lamé for a reason
It started off fairly innocuously. Gold lamé shoes worn with a pair of jeans and a low-key top. A silver bag on the shoulder of a sweatshirt-clad girl. Soon, designers and discount stores alike caught onto the craze of manufacturing as many accessories as possible in gold, silver or metallic versions of any other color. Now it’s impossible to walk down a street or into a store without seeing a range of metallic accessories evoking the disco era that ended for a reason. Whether it is an enormous hobo bag in metallic pink, strappy stilettos in gold, shiny earrings in lime green or a metallic belt with more sparkle than a pre-teen girl gone wild in a makeup shop, these accessories definitely made their presence known this year.
— Neha Singh
Associate Hiatus Editor
Pooch in a purse
Forget the latest Louis bag —the real must-have accessory this past year has been a dog. Don’t go grabbing your nearest lab or golden retriever or your normal, furry, let’s-throw-a-frisbee mutt, though. Nature blessed man’s best friend with four legs — four legs that would allow it to run, catch, chase and hunt. Of course, that was before the onset of this year’s latest trend; as a true fashionista, God forbid you let your pal actually use his paws. And like every fashion accessory, this one is for cradling, carrying and draping across your body. Of course, accessories of this kind require only the smallest, yelpiest, least doglike canines; blame it on Paris and her rodentlike pooch, Tinkerbell. Do we love it? Not really.
— Sarah Mak
Associate Hiatus Editor
Collarpalooza
Is your neck cold or something? Do you have a hickey? Did you get sunburned? If your answer to these questions is no and yet you still pop the collar on your pink Abercrombie polo, then an explanation is necessary. It seems that the simple horizontal-striped polos of a few years ago are no longer relevant, and that one must now select a color out of Crayola’s pastel selection and turn the collar into a neck shield. As if that isn’t enough, these shirts are often layered in such a manner that only increases the amount that they suck. Grab your trendy polo, rock that car-crash hair-gel style, and go check out the booths in Price Center. Congratulations, you look like 10 guys I’ve seen in the past five minutes.
— Adam Staley
Senior Staff Writer
Hippie handbags
Fashion is really just an arena for the entertainment of cultural irony — which is why tote bags are now cool. (By “tote bags” I mean both the traditional, canvas handled bags hippies use in grocery stores and, more generally, the big, open bags with handles — not straps — now hitting the big time.) My stepmother loads her astrology books and granola into one before she ever leaves the house, which is why I think it’s funny that these are the new adoption of both the black-haired Mandeville babes and the fussy Price Center pretties. While no guy would ever be caught dead with these gardening tools, a nifty silk-screened canvas tote bag with the logo of a cool record store would doubtless get you to the front of every show at the Che Cafe. And then you wouldn’t even have to bring granola!
— Ian S. Port
Hiatus Editor
Skankin’ shoes
It once seemed like a very small clan: those of us (including Spiccoli from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”) who thought that black-and-white checkerboard slip-on Vans were really friggin’ cool. Nowadays, everyone sports ‘em, including that 4-foot-4-inch Asian chick in your art class who doesn’t like the Beatles. Oh, sigh — it’s just the same mainstreamization of indie culture that killed Converse. But seeing as it’s already becoming unacceptably trendy to sport even plain black slip-on Vans (especially if you’re ever unlucky enough to find yourself at the Irvine Spectrum), we trend-setters will have to move on to something new. Where can you buy Keds, anyway?
— Ian S. Port
Hiatus Editor
Caravan couture
Off-the-shoulder shirts, colorful blunt skirts, skunk eyes, plastic bangles, Paris Hilton inspired pubic-skirt? That was so over the summer. Old and outplayed, the ’80s revival and the Hilton legacy are starting to become overshadowed by the eastern hemisphere.
Ever notice the new Old Navy commercials with those skinnier-than-skinny models prancing around in their bohemian skirts like there ain’t a care in the world? Out jumps the star model in her extremely trendy 3/4-sleeve tunic and all is good in the hood of fashion. Who knew tunics would one day make the runway? Apparently, it not only comes in Earth brown but in oxygen white as well.
Every young female with an eye for the newest trends is hitting the stores for their fortune teller-inspired skirts, accessories and en-vogue caftans from Urban Outfitters. Sequined peacock skirts, little Indian slippers, Chinese embroidered slip-ons (which you can get for $5 in 99 Ranch Market), long-stranded wooden bead necklaces, that natural “I just got out of the water and slept in the sun all day” hair … it seems the trend of the year dictates — Paris is out, Esmeralda is in.
— Vu Mai
Senior Staff Writer
U All in?
Poker here, poker there, poker every-motherfucking-where. It was hard to turn on the TV in the past year without seeing fat, unattractive men with bad fashion sense sitting around a table staring at each other, and thanks to the peaking popularity of Texas Hold ‘Em, this is now easy to accomplish on a variety of channels. Possibly the only content matter ever shared in common by ESPN, Bravo, E! and the Travel Channel, TV has revolutionized the negative connotation formerly associated with the game. Previously shunned by society, the likes of Greg Raymer, Daniel Negreanu and Phil Hellmuth — three guys who, in any other context, would be the biggest douches you’ve ever met in your life — now enjoy a quasi-minor-celebrity status. It isn’t going anywhere either, because now even the networks are lining up to suck on the poker cash-cow teat. Drink up.
— Adam Staley
Senior Staff Writer
Pull this thread as I walk away
Sweaters. Though stupid, the sweater is one of the signature fashion emblems of the indie-rocker. Dang, even the pseudo-indie-but-great-anyway Weezer wrote a song about the article of clothing 10-odd years ago. Not surprisingly, it takes UCSD exactly that long to get the message. I myself have spent countless hours explaining the glorious world sweaters have to offer. Come this school year and some kid hears this “new” band called Modest Mouse, and then it’s sweaters galore. I-told-you-so’s were fun for the first few days, but now they’re just annoying. The big problem with now they’re just annoying. The big problem with sweaters is they give this “innocent boy” look. So now instead of having to defend my sweater collection, I have to prove to people that I’m just as racist, sexist and homophobic as the next Bush-to-be-in-power. I hate Modest Mouse.
— Mehrdad Yazdani
Staff Writer
The chipmunk hook
When people are asked to describe the hip-hop sound, most will describe either the thumping, Southern Lil’ Jon style, or they will point to the sped-up soul sample. This sound, jacked from Ghostface and popularized by Kanye West, sounds kind of like Alvin and the Chipmunks after the sample is sped-up from the swing of ’60s soul to match the faster tempo of hip-hop. This sort of chipmunk hook is not exclusive to Kanye, as Beanie Sigel, the Diplomats and many other East Coast acts use this device as a way of not having to write a chorus of their own. The East isn’t the only side of the map relying on the originality of 40 years ago to craft a hit, and soul-sampling is slowly creeping into Southern and Bay Area rap, softening the hard corners of crunk and hyphy, respectively.
— Adam Staley
Senior Staff Writer
A man and his computer
Going by the likes of the Album Leaf, the Streets, RJD2, Prefuse 73 and Caribou, if you want to be a cool musician these days, you don’t even need a band — just a laptop/production suite and a stage name that gives no mention of your solo status. It was probably inevitable, with such sophisticated computing/recording power available, that multimember ensembles would seem so … 2002. Laptop albums are really nothing new, but their seepage into the indie/rock mainstream is, kinda. Who would’ve guessed that the stern-sounding Streets is just one lonely, pale Mike Skinner? Nobody — not even after listening to the music — which is why we’re saying this now: Bands are dying, dude.
— Ian S. Port
Hiatus Editor
I love the nostalgia shows
Due in large part to the fast-paced editing seen on TV, America’s attention span now rests somewhere between five and 10 seconds. What better way to capitalize on this than with the nostalgic clip show, helpfully reminding us of shit that just happened. VH1 loves the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, and now they also love Last Week, because how else will you find out who Paris Hilton is screwing or who’s winning the epic Duff-Lohan feud? It is critical that we intimately know celebrities with whom we will never come into contact, and important to learn this material from commercial actors and unsuccessful comedians. Vicarious living isn’t the only option though, as pop culture is now also fascinated with the dignity-lacking “regular” people willing to appear on reality shows. Miss anything? Fear not — somewhere in the diarrhea of reality television highlights, the relevant three seconds will be shown.
— Adam Staley
Senior Staff Writer
