Gin, tonic and marijuana

I remember reading somewhere that whiskey or beer make one’s breath smell awful, like sour mash and yeast and bums. The drink to combat alcohol halitosis: the gin and tonic. Just like Kramer and the no-smell, no-tell scotch, if you throw down a gin and tonic, you can walk around drunk all day, and still smell like juniper berries and lime — the scent of the Expeditionary British Empire. I used this to my advantage once on a lone Friday class, the fewer-than-20-person Muir Writing 50. Needless to say, this particular morning, I was for once an active participant in the discussion instead of a stoic wallflower and nod artist as always. TA Ryan, if I ran into you that glorious Sun God, you would have faced my second tradition: the jazzle-dazzle joint that reunites lost friends during the chaos, making bonds with TAs and hot girls alike. Gin, tonic and jazzles. That’s Sun God to me. — C.N.

Drunk naps not allowed

No one wants to be “that guy.” You know what I’m talking about. The guy who says he’s going back to his room to pick up something, only to disappear until Saturday. Much is made of the drunken nap that seems inevitable when alcohol imbibing commences at 10 in the morning; however, this seemingly unavoidable problem has an easy remedy. Too many people are all about the downers (alcohol, weed, your girlfriend) during Sun God, but working in a coffee shop for two years will show you the beauty of the picker-upper we call caffeine. Working the opening shift at a coffee shop on campus the day of Sun God is far from ideal, but being witness to the brilliance of Irish coffee made it all worth it. While the combination of coffee and alcohol makes for some fascinating trips to the toilet, drunken naps become a mere afterthought as your body engages in a constant conflict between the various substances taking years off your life. Cheers, bitches. — A.S.

Everyone’s your friend!

UCSD students are normally about as sociable as a geriatric tortoise. Which is what makes Sun God — where a little sun and music turn your average science-type into a liquor-swilling “What’s up?” machine — such a fun event. You know those people you see every day but never talk to? On Sun God, they’re your friends, which means you can feel free to spit, bitch or lob any random thought that crosses your mind toward them. Most likely, they’ll be wearing the “everyone’s-my-pal” goggles too — so you don’t have to worry about any embarrassing memories popping up later. — I.S.P.

Midterms + Sun God = BAD

Since I no longer have one of those classes where the teacher thinks he or she can have more than one midterm, this is the first year I will not face a test on the day of Sun God.

For those of you who aren’t so lucky, you are faced with a choice. Maybe you should have dropped the class once you heard from the person who, at the exact moment the syllabus was passed out, announced to the class that the midterm fell on the day of Sun God. (You would have had a great excuse to use when you had to explain to your parents why you are only taking 12 units.) It’s too late now, though; the midterm is going to happen.

Depending on what time your midterm is (or maybe not), you can show up drunk to the test, already accepting that you’re going to fail, and pray that the professor will drop the lowest midterm grade. From my experience, plenty choose the option above.

Then there’s the other option — the dork option, you could call it (but I’m not going to, because it’s what I’ve done for the last two years): Suck it up, take the test like it’s a normal day, and ride the beautiful curve that comes with a class full of students with one thing on their minds — alcohol. There’s plenty of time to have fun afterwards. — J.N.