Picture We'd Most like to Rip on but Haven't Actually Seen

    There are times in life when no matter how much you’d like to rip on a movie, you simply aren’t willing to sit through a free two-hour movie screening. But since I made up this category, I can “review” what were probably the worst movies of 2004: “Chasing Liberty” and “First Daughter,” one of which stars Katie Holmes, and the other, Mandy Moore.

    “First Daughter”/“Chasing Liberty” is the story of a college-aged girl (played by Moore/Holmes) who just wants to live a normal life. Sucks for her, then, that her father is the president (overacted by Michael Keaton/Marc Harmon). While Holmes/Moore has the sweet girl-next-door look down, the acting in “First Daughter”/“Chasing Liberty” seems plucked from an episode of “7th Heaven,” with stereotypical coming-of-age storylines not very well hidden behind the presidential plot. Scenes where Moore/Holmes is whisked around on a motorcycle by a hunky 30-year-old-playing-a-20-year-old (Matthew Goode/Marc Blucas) are likely to be gag inducing, and the over-the top climax, where Moore/Holmes decides to follow her heart and somehow manages to please her father as well, are both predictable and depressing.

    And in case you’re wondering, Holmes/Moore doesn’t get naked throughout the entire film, dissappointing the dozen or so boyfriends who got dragged into the theater with false promises of post-chick-flick sex.

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