Featuring tepid lyrics such as “You’re under my skin, you’re the splinter in me,” and such white-boy “rock” exclamations as “get down,” the latest offering from Virgin pretty boys the Exies is a rancid sandwich formed around the castrated neo-Nirvana single “Ugly,” the noisy bits of which are featured on televised wrestling programs.

This album takes the sound of great big-hair revival bands like Velvet Revolver and removes everything that makes them great. Head For the Door has no Slash-like soaring metal riffs nor edgy basslines to add rhythmic content. Instead, the listener is treated to incredibly repetitive riffs that add nothing at all to the uniform rhythm or tone. In fact, when the distortion turns off you can hear how stupid the riffs are — guitar and bass masturbations that neglect everything rock musicians have done for the art of the one-string wonder riff.

The Exies would be fun to listen to in a bar, like any other cover band, but their lack of original sound keeps them from joining the ranks of successful “radio-friendly” bands like the Killers and Muse.

One-half star for keeping a steady beat. One-half star for the slick production. This album deserves no further acclaim.

The Exies will perform Feb. 10 at the Casbah.