Clifford’s Really Big Movie” isn’t actually a really big movie in any respect, more of an extra-long episode of the sleepy TV series about a red dog whose height varies between 20 feet and four stories tall. But, the point is he’s big, he’s red, and he’s voiced by the now- deceased John Ritter.
The plot of “Clifford” is wafer-thin, something about food and an odd 3-D CGI circus transcribed on top of the very wispy 2-D drawings, but during the 45 seconds in which these events are explained one may be easily distracted by the several hundred shrieking children voicing their numerous objections to the film.
After all, “Clifford’s Really Big Movie” is a Really Comfortable Movie. Targeting an audience of teething toddlers and their unfortunate guardians, the film’s sole overt purpose is to calm both parties so that their mutual relief will form an integral part of the Clifford franchising cycle (the next step, being the acquisition of the DVD, followed by the three novellas and stuffed animals).
Yet, lurking beneath this happy exterior, “Clifford” hides one of cinema’s greatest ironies. Rosebud was only a sled in “Citizen Kane.” HAL 9000 was more human than the human drones in “2001: A Space Odyssesy.” And, the calming effect of “Clifford” will not only completely fail in its perceived goal of child pacification, but will instead actively antagonize these children, forcing all viewing parties involved to consider man’s mortality. The proof is in the audience. Instead of hearing coos of delight upon viewing semi-epic pastel landscapes, or sighs of relief as the ending conflict (involving an autograph gone awry) is dissolved in the greatest deus ex machina since “Star Wars Episode II,” the audience is instead treated to screams of recognition and joy as the children understand what they are seeing.
Yes, the children understand this film, and they understand the logic involved in this film. They understand that businessmen armed with binding contracts will spontaneously rip them up when confronted with the “right thing to do,” and this information is stored away in their developing brains for all eternity.
And this facet is where “Clifford’s Really Big Movie” transcends all that has come before and proves itself as a unique new cinematic experience. For the full effect of “Clifford’s Really Big Movie” will not be seen for another 20 years, when a generation of indoctrinated toddlers approach the business world with the cheery, optimistic outlook offered by the movie’s portrayal of family values and ethical business practices. And, when this generation approaches with twinkling eyes, it will fall subservient to the untainted children of the movie’s filmmakers and distributors.
Is “Clifford’s Really Big Movie” a tool for massive global economic change? It is not a question of if, but when. DVD sales figure heavily into the overall effect, and whether or not “optional extras” are included with “Clifford” DVDs may spell the difference between opulence and poverty for millions of Americans. Billions if there’s a sing-along.
