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Michael J. Nelson’s thoughts on pot

Mike Nelson was the host and head writer of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” during most of the show’s 10-year run. Since then, he has kept himself busy penning three books, contributing his comments to cinematic gems such as “Reefer Madness,” and generally establishing himself as King of the Bad Movies.

Guardian: How did you land the assignment with Legend Films to do the commentary track for “Reefer Madness”?

Mike Nelson: It’s my first opportunity taking advantage of nepotism. David Martin of Legend Films is a friend of a friend who thought of me when he took on “Reefer.” Why? I should probably ponder that.

G: I’ve heard rumors about you providing some similar commentary with Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy for some upcoming “Three Stooges” DVDs, as well as flying solo for some zombie films.

Nelson: It’s true. Kevin, Bill and I did some goofy stuff for their upcoming “Stooges” release. I have also contributed commentary for “Carnival of Souls” and “Night of the Living Dead.” Bill, Kevin and I are also working on a book together. No release date yet, but it’s the heartbreaking tale of a young boy coming of age in a small Nebraska town. Wait, no — it’s a wacky instructional book on how to enjoy really bad DVDs and the really bad extras that often accompany them.

G: You’ve been quite the author lately. Your latest, “Death Rat,” has been likened to Douglas Adams’ “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” with a few less space stations. If “Death Rat” is successful enough, can we look forward to some more fiction from you?

Nelson: I’m sure I will revisit fiction, as there are so many more rodents out there around which to base a book. I’d also like to try my hand at a pulp thriller. Seriously. Having read my first one on a recent vacation, and realizing that one needn’t necessarily write good prose, I think I could pull it off.

G: In your commentary you mention that you didn’t have an “extensive knowledge of reefer,” but have you had any personal experiences with the “demon weed”?

Nelson: Last summer, I amused a studio audience for the now-failed Jesse Ventura talk show by admitting, under questioning from the former feather-boa-wearing governor, that I had neither smoked marijuana nor had I ever gone skinny dipping. My life is a catalog of ordinariness.

G: So what do you think of marijuana then?

Nelson: I tried to argue with the pro-drug Ventura. I’m against marijuana use largely because of the quality of people I see it producing. Tommy Chong — this is someone to look up to? That guy married to Goldie Hawn’s daughter? As a spokesman for weed, he leaves something to be desired. Woody Harrelson? If marijuana users had a person of say, Winston Churchill’s caliber on their side, I might be more inclined to listen. Truth be told, it’s an extremely complex issue and I have to admit that I don’t have a fully coherent argument concerning U.S. policy. I just know that my own view is that marijuana use is just, well, cheesy.

G: Why do you think that a 1938 propaganda film about the evils of marijuana has survived for 65 years?

Nelson: I know it makes pot smokers laugh a lot. But then, what doesn’t? But really, it’s survived mostly because it’s a really, really goofy movie — weed or no weed. The reason it’s laughed at today is, in my opinion, different from the reason it was originally laughed at. Back in the 1960s, every opinion of anyone in “authority,” essentially “adults,” was considered suspect. The film’s obvious untruths about marijuana — I wouldn’t say they were lies, because it’s tough to know if they actually believed what they were saying — only confirmed this point of view. But now, after having seen the wreckage that wholesale drug use wrought upon the 1960s generation, I believe viewers aren’t snickering so much at the central message, but rather the bizarre nature of the film itself.

G: If the “Reefer Madness” DVD is successful enough, you may start a trend of Mike Nelson commentary tracks included on DVDs. What recent DVD releases do you think are worthy of the full treatment?

Nelson: I want to do the re-release of “Cocktail.” It’s such a beautiful ‘80s time capsule, in much the same way that “Reefer” is of its time. Also, “Coyote Ugly.” Just don’t make me sit through “Battlefield Earth.”3

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