What has happened to social dance lately?
Now, you are most likely wondering what I’m talking about. Let me explain. Throughout history, Americans have come together to dance. Waltzing, jitterbug, swing, even disco: Specific dances with specific steps that took at least a modicum of talent and practice to perform.
But not anymore. What does our generation have? Freaking.
There are no steps anymore. Just bumping and grinding against another person. Or even thin air.
What makes a good dancer at a club these days? Whoever can make people want to get with them the most. No need for talent, just a vague sense of rhythm or a willingness to shake your ass while wearing tight pants.
And there is no etiquette these days. Way back when, people would ask one another if they wanted to dance. Not anymore. These days, it’s grab first and ask later.
Case in point: One of my friends and I went down to the Gaslamp District for Mardi Gras this year. After a fabulous dinner, we went to check out some of the bands. We found a band doing covers of popular songs and decided to stick around. What better way to celebrate than watching white men with afros try to rap?
Anyway, we spent more time trying to ward off advances from guys than we did actually dancing. After trying to explain to guys that were obviously drunk, way too old, or otherwise just creepy, I finally let a guy dance with me.
Well, this guy thought that because I let him into my personal space, he was allowed to touch me. I was distracted from dancing by trying to keep him from grabbing my ass every time I moved. Since I did let him keep dancing with me, he figured he had the right to stick his tongue in my mouth. He was wrong.
After removing him from my personal space, I was forced to do what my sister calls “playing the lesbian card,” which means I told the guy that my friend was in fact my girlfriend. Luckily, he fell for it.
And that’s where we are today. Our dance is simply gyrating, pulsing, thrusting against our partner or partners — as the case may be. There are no specific steps anymore, most likely because the majority of people can’t do more than bob and shake in place while wearing three-inch heels, skin-tight pants and low-cut shirts that have been deemed proper dancing attire these days.
Are we really so starved for sex that we feel the need to imitate it while (barely) clothed in the middle of a dance floor? Or are we just so unimaginative that this is the best we can come up with?
In any case, it’s more than a little pathetic.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against dancing that looks sexy and might even be a bit shocking. I mean, when waltzing first became popular, it was scandalous because men and women were (gasp!) touching each other. The twist horrified parents because their children were (oh the horror!) moving their pelvises. But I think it’s gone just a little too far these days.
I’m sure it all started out as a good thing. Just look back at “Dirty Dancing.” Oh come on, I know you’ve all seen it at least once. The dancing was sexual, but it still looked as if it required a scrap of talent to perform. And you had to dance with a partner.
Now it’s just dancing on your partner. Look at the “Real World” or some of the other reality shows (don’t get me started) that have popped up to copy. All you have to do to be considered a good dancer is be willing to dry hump your partner in public. And of course this is being perpetuated in movies and television shows. I’ve been told it has in the episode “The Escape” on the TV show “The O.C.” (Though I can’t claim to know for sure as I’ve been avoiding this show since it came out, but I won’t go there … this time.)
And when did we become so voyeuristic that we wanted to watch this? If you want to watch people get it on, go buy some porn. When did we become such exhibitionists that we willingly go into clubs and let people watch us do this? The way some people dance these days, they might as well incorporate a pole and get paid for it.
Does anyone really think that there is any shock value left in this anymore? Television commercials show sweaty bodies jostling around on a dance floor to advertise everything from alcohol to deodorant.
So why don’t we do ourselves, and the rest of the world, a favor — leave the foreplay in the bedroom and bring dance back to the dance floor.