Last year I was standing in line at Price Center’s post office waiting to buy a stamp. The line was ridiculously long, as always, and I was going to be late to class. The guy in front of me noticed my anguish and asked, “You in a hurry?” I told him my dilemma. He nodded empathetically and disappeared into the post office. Maybe he was just going in there to ask how long it was going to take. He walked through the door with two stamps in hand. “Here’s one for you,” he said. Surprised by his thoughtfulness, I fumbled in my backpack for some change to pay for it. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, and walked away.
Simple act, but a long-term impact. For that one brief moment, I shed my thick shell of cynicism and succumbed to the soft surface of genuine kindness.
It may come as second nature to condemn an idea or rip someone to shreds, to tell off an incompetent driver or slam a teaching assistant. How simple is it to complain about a professor and make fun of everything he or she does? There is a self-indulgent, mindless, offhand quality to venting or gossiping about someone. Being negative is, for us all, a natural disposition.
On a national level, negative campaign ads and comments are usually the order of the day. On the other hand, we tend to associate kindness with images of Mother Theresa and orphaned children — the form of sacrifice embodied in an elderly woman who represents the exception, not the norm. In a societal climate marred by divisive issues and moral debate (Janet Jackson, anyone?), it feels like a little positive thinking would be a relief.
Maybe it’s a mid-college crisis settling on me, but for some reason, I’ve recently realized the transient nature of our stay here. Four or five years seems like an awful long time on paper, but will anyone disagree with me that it flies by? Like an early morning mist that seems to be everywhere, the college experience immerses us only to disappear when we are just beginning to assess it. It is this sense of urgency that has allowed me to reflect on the relative importance of my time at UCSD. Will I remember the many midterm exams? The pages and pages of never-ending textbooks? I hope not.
What I do hope to remember are post-office moments. We’ve all heard it a million times from grade-school teachers to “”Chicken Soup for the Soul”” to the movie “”Pay It Forward.”” Random acts of kindness brighten everyone’s day. Fine, but don’t veer off into cliche territory, now. But really, in college, where we make so many new friends and are surrounded by so many people, opportunities to build one another up abound. What I personally appreciate are the pleasant conversations I have with my roommate after a long day, seeing someone offer his or her seat on the shuttle, reading a note of encouragement my friend wrote, or watching a student carrying an older person’s groceries. The regular mix of lecture, work and activities produces far more value when human relationships are built and nurtured.
I also have realized that the structure of society is built upon the intangibles. Diplomacy is basically a matter of tact and mutual understanding. The “people skills” and “team-player attitude” employers so often desire resemble the same kindness, consideration and interaction fostered on the playground.
I find that as young adults, we are often characterized in the media, entertainment and authorities’ minds as reckless and rude, disrespectful and uncouth.
I propose a challenge to all college students. Let’s prove them wrong. It’s a piece of cake to gossip about others or to curse professors to death behind their backs. It’s another thing altogether to encourage one another. There is, however, no better time to do this than in the setting we are in right now.
The potential to become hardened, jaded and bitter individuals must be decreased somehow if at this young age we all just spare each other a smile once in a while. I speak from personal experience here. When all I do is dwell in self-pity over my poor exam grades, it shows on my face. When something annoys me, I complain to everyone. When I feel that an injustice is being done to me, I sour at the thought of taking the energy to be friendly to a stranger. If I’m not happy at the moment, why should anyone else be? If the impact of such a negative attitude permeates into a visible expression, then doesn’t the same go for a positive attitude?
This isn’t to make light of the very real inadequacies and problems on the campus, local, national and international levels that surround us. Nor is this an attempt to make everyone into plastic-smile phonies. Dissension and disagreements, along the negative sphere, are healthy ways to evaluate the status quo. All I advocate is an effective way of wielding the power we as individuals hold.
Anybody can tear someone down, but to inject a bit of sunshine into a life is a greater accomplishment. Whether this is made through encouraging a friend or professor, picking up a pencil for a stranger, or, yes, just buying a stamp for a person in line, positive thinking and kindness can be refreshing. Even just a smile is worthwhile. I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Smile. It confuses people.” In comparison to all the negative energy that accumulates at the end of a tough day, confusion in this case just might be a welcome sentiment.