Put away the calculator, it's OK to date at UCSD

    t’s been said to everyone at some point, and maybe it was believable before arriving at the vapid student atmosphere that is UCSD, but when parents reiterate the fact that most married couples meet in college, well, a picture may say a thousand words but a laugh can usually tell it all.

    So UCSD is less a hotspot for dating than, say, anything involving a TI-85 or the periodic table. Big deal. As you find out sooner or later, you can either make your own fun on this campus or you can end up going postal like Jack Nicholson in “”The Shining.”” The resources aren’t plentiful, and are even less available for the on-campus freshman without a car, but that has yet to deter the walking hormones that have always graced this university.

    Dating in college is less about actually dating than it is about the meet-up-and-make-out. While there are a substantial number of poor souls actually hoping to meet their life partner in college, most Tritons aren’t and will be scared off by or at least intolerant of anyone who is wearing such intentions on his or her sleeve. Like it or not, it’s all about the hook-up ó but that doesn’t mean the hook-up is as easy as a Coors Light commercial.

    There’s a method to this madness that varies from target to target, and while these tips can help, a disclaimer should be thrown out there: You are the product, these are just marketing tools that can extend your meat-market buying power.

    Class: Encountering your future special someone in class isn’t as tacky as you might think. An easy maneuver you can use to start a conversation is to ask your target if you can borrow notes because you missed lecture a few times last week. From there, you will most likely get a phone number or an immediate stroll to a copy machine. At this point, you have the CEO’s ear and you’re looking for him or her to find something special in you. Take it from there, Casanova. Plus, there is always a midterm the two of you can study for.

    Use the fact that you have a course together to your advantage to start a conversation when you see him or her in a food line, but eventually change the conversation to something else ó weekend plans, interest in the upcoming sporting/cultural event, etc. Also, underclassmen: Take advantage of lower-division courses and all that smaller-class-sized sections offer ó you’ll be able to draw more attention in a smaller section, especially while the droning grad student up front is making it quite impossible not to check out everybody else in the room.

    On-campus job: Getting an on-campus job for a few hours a week not only puts a little coin in your pocket, it’s a great way to meet a new corps of co-workers. However, these are not the best reasons for checking the bulletin boards for an opening. You know those hot girls working at A.S. Lecture Notes? Or maybe the nice boy who looks like Dan Cortez driving the Regents shuttle? That’s because they are fixtures we interact with on a daily basis ó highly visible fixtures at that.

    While off-campus internships are a practical way to boost your rÈsumÈ, no one is going to approach you at a party and say, “”Don’t you do data entry for Prudential?”” They will know you if you’re a suds-dispenser at Porter’s Pub, an ID-swiper at RIMAC or a Sunshine Store clerk. Being in contact with this many students during a three-hour shift cannot be a bad thing. Note: There is such a thing as visibility overkill, so working at a dining hall should be considered with caution.

    Dorms: Once you move off campus, you’ll end up residing anywhere from Del Mar to Mira Mesa to Claremont, and the density of attractive peers per square foot will decline drastically. Enjoy the co-ed, on-campus residence halls and apartments while you can. Dorm life is convenient across the spectrum: Potential mates and beds high in demand are also high in supply. Note to on-campus girls: The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and chances are he’ll be very grateful if you let him tap into your meal plan if he’s staying over. (Food is food to guys, no matter how disgusting you think the beef strogan-cold is.)

    If you have a roommate, you have probably had the “”sexiled”” chat by now. Always keep a spare pillow, blanket and sleeping bag in the living area so that you don’t need to dig through a closet while your hook-up gets impatient. And if you do sexile your roommate, proper etiquette requires that you buy him or her breakfast in the morning to compensate for an uncomfortable night of sleep.

    Also, if you don’t like coffee, learn. Once you learn, Grove Caffe’s laid-back setting and tasty brew make it a great place to meet someone for a first date.

    Student organizations are not only lining Library Walk to “”change the world,”” but are also advertising themselves as a place where you can meet people. There are ethnic orgs, political orgs, media orgs and so on that all introduce an array of social functions.

    Student Health Services, the abortion rights groups on Library Walk and the Women’s Center often provide free condoms. You can also get “”checked out”” at Student Health to keep you and your mate safe.

    Finally, be yourself if you are genuinely interested in maintaining a relationship. If you want to be a ho, you’ll be treated like a ho. Nobody really wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day, so now’s your chance to pay the piece of ass across the hall a visit and make him or her forget about his or her long-distance relationship. Good luck and Godspeed.

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