Oscars Shmoscars

    Best Movie to Watch While High

    Kenrick Leung
    Guardian

    “”Super Troopers””

    Well, if the subject matter of the film doesn’t do it for you, what with college kids smoking pot, eating mushrooms, and Vermont State Troopers confiscating and smoking said marijuana, then a quick glance at the reviews of “”Super Troopers”” probably will put you over the edge.

    Take film critic Annette Cardwell (of http://www.filmcritic.com), who says, “”It’s frustrating to see these guys — who are obviously pretty clever — waste their talent on parodies of things they probably thought were funniest when they were high.””

    The movie had a fair share of plot holes that were summed up with something akin to “”the dead woman was from somewhere else.”” Yet a frat-like sense of departmental humor, a rivalry with the local cops and a willingness to play mind games with stoned college kids makes for a very oddly humorous movie.

    However, one does have the sneaking suspicion that plot was secondary to the “”cheeky shenanigans”” that made “”Super Troopers”” everything you’re likely to enjoy.

    — Rinaldo Dorman

    Hiatus Editor

    The Movie that Shouldn’t have been

    “”The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course””

    “”Crikey! It’s a piece of poo!”” Steve Irwin’s line describes the movie, “”The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course,”” perfectly. But hey, at least the title of this film lets you know exactly where it’s heading. So as painful as this movie is to watch, if you willingly buy a ticket, you’re only doing it to yourself.

    The film plays like his TV adventure documentary is being invaded by a spy movie. CIA agents head to the Australian outback to retrieve a crash-landed satellite hard drive, and wind up chasing a cattle-eating crocodile that swallowed their prize, and that Irwin has been asked to capture and relocate. Here’s the question: Is the inter-species wrestling match really worth the ineptly acted spy antics, the big flatulence jokes and Irwin’s endless grandstanding? Not without a handy remote control with a mute button, it isn’t.

    Watching Irwin’s crocodile show on the Animal Planet should be enough for the viewers looking for an Australian wildlife adventure. Watching the weak plot, it is obvious that the movie is just an excuse to make a more drawn-out version of the television show.

    About 16 years ago, another Aussie-gator romp got it right with its blend of wildlife preservation, outback mysticism and cheeky humor. If that’s what you’re looking for, leave Irwin on the TV and rent “”Crocodile Dundee.””

    — Neha Singh

    Staff Writer

    Overkill on a Movie

    “”Red Dragon””/””Star Wars: Episode II””

    Hollywood has a tendency to take a successful idea and run it into the ground. “”Silence of the Lambs”” and “”Star Wars”” are two of the best-known and best-loved films of all time (in different ways, of course).

    In order to bank on the success of the films, Hollywood studios have recently released the prequels, “”Red Dragon”” and “”Attack of the Clones,”” explaining the back stories. While these two movies are entertaining, you walk out of the theater wondering why these even needed to be made. These two films are good, but the concepts are too overdone. It’s almost as if Hollywood has given up trying to come up with new ideas, and are now just reshaping the old ideas.

    “”Silence of the Lambs”” and “”Star Wars”” were good films. They still are good. But, for the sake of our sanity, someone take note: We don’t need any more prequels or sequels or whatever you want to flaunt it as.

    — Deena Al Shatti

    Contributing Writer

    Worst Adaptation of a Book

    “”Time Machine””

    You really have no reason to see the 2002 version of “”Time Machine.”” Lacking even the cheesy kitsch of the 1960 version, let alone the techno-political commentary of H.G. Wells’ actual book, this movie settles for special effects and good looks.

    Wells wrote about a man whose invention hurls him across millennia, only to witness the dimming of humanity into two separate classes: the surface dwelling and child-like Eloi and the subterranean Morlocks. Along with further travels all the way to the distant and dim end of the earth, Wells’ accounts of the time traveler construct a criticism about turn-of-the-century English society to both the past and the future, along with the British connection to technology.

    All this is largely shelved, without an attempt to update it for the American audience, instead dwelling on a much happier and simpler romantic relationship. Commentary is gone, and in its place is a trite and sappy story that can’t resist the temptation to throw in action-thriller elements about getting back the girl.

    — Rinaldo Dorman

    Hiatus Editor

    Worst Horror Movie

    “”Fear Dot Com””

    The very premise of this highly predictable flop was enough to turn most away: the magical Web site of death. “”Fear Dot Com”” utilizes countless played-out cliches of the horror genre.

    Here is the movie: You log onto the Web site and a woman’s voice asks you, “”Do you like to watch?”” There is a montage of dark images, including glimpses of a little girl, your computer explodes, your nose bleeds and you have 48 hours to live. During that time, you see increasingly terrible hallucinations of whatever you are afraid of; sound familiar to anyone? It’s incredibly similar to the premise of “”The Ring,”” only that had a video of death.

    The protagonists race their two-day time limit to unravel the mystery of who the girl in the Web site is, why she died and avenge her death. Along the way, you keep asking yourself questions like: Why does the female lead go to the old plant alone, unarmed and at night, and why does she leave the lights to the car on and the door open?

    The ending comes out of nowhere and makes little sense; when characters die you feel no sympathy, only relief that you don’t have to watch them anymore. “”Fear Dot Com”” is proof that Hollywood has too much money and not enough writing ability.

    — Rinaldo Dorman

    Hiatus Editor

    Best Film To

    Walk Out On

    “”Swept Away””

    Very few movies in your lifetime will make you cover your face with your hands and recoil in horror and disbelief right there in the theater. “”Swept Away”” is one of those films. If there was ever such a thing as cinematic spousal abuse, “”Swept Away”” would be immediate grounds for divorce.

    It’s hard to imagine why director-husband Guy Ritchie would want to subject superstar-wife Madonna to such a celluloid atrocity; watch her get slapped around, dragged through the sand and generally photographed like an aging hag. Only a very large therapy bill can explain what attraction this material may have had for the couple.

    In Ritchie’s film, spoiled capitalist Amber (Madonna) delights in humiliating lowly sailor Giuseppe (Adriano Giannini). Then, there is a terrible shipwreck. With no hope for rescue, hot sex and animal passion ensues, mixed with twisted S&M undercurrents. Madonna’s acting is atrocious, while Giannini also does a terrible job playing Giuseppe. Or maybe it’s just that the characters are embarrassingly generic, underdevelopment being a recurrent theme in the movie. With terrible acting and an underdeveloped plot, it is no surprise that “”Swept Away”” is the perfect movie to torture yourself with.

    — Neha Singh

    Staff Writer

    Best Career-Reviving Performance

    Charlton Heston in “”Bowling for Columbine””

    All joking aside, Michael Moore’s ironic documentary about gun control in America (or lack thereof) was probably the most expository and groundbreaking film of 2002.

    Moore takes the audience on an informative journey with unlikely stops along the way; some of which include a bank where a customer gets a free gun for starting a new account, Columbine High School (the sight of the famous high school mass-shooting), the Lockheed Martin plant nearby and Charlton Heston’s residence (then president of the National Rifle Association). Moore’s candid interview with Heston, the star of such blockbusters as “”Ben-Hur,”” “”The Ten Commandments”” and “”Planet of the Apes,”” includes a stunning performance by the old dinosaur — enough to make anyone laugh and cry at the same time in one hysterical confusion. After questions like, “”Why did you go into those towns where there had been school shootings only a day before and hold massive pro-NRA rallies?”” Heston’s confused silences get longer and longer, as if the poor old geezer doesn’t know about the shootings, or even the rallies for that matter. It’s as if he thought the NRA presidency was just another acting job — perhaps a sequel to “”Soylent Green”” — and he was simply reading the script he was given.

    Heston’s lack of coherency, alongside a damaging policy, is reminiscent of Ronald Reagan in his role as president of the United States. This performance ought to revive Heston’s dormant career and bring him back into the limelight, since the impending war with Iraq should call for some mindless boob to yell meaningless slogans.

    — Clinton Haycraft

    Contributing Writer

    Worst Animated Movie You Missed

    “”Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron””

    As the rolling plains and mountains sit in a picturesque CGI background, a herd of wild horses gallops on, and the voice of Matt Damon drones, “”This story may not be true, but it’s what I remember.”” God save us.

    Sadly, God and Dreamworks Pictures did not save moviegoers from extensive campaigning for “”Spirit,”” an epic story of “”man vs. horse”” that pits our leading stallion, Spirit, against the evils of settlers moving west.

    Spirit leads a pack of wild horses, fighting off hungry wildcats and other perils, but cannot protect himself from being captured by humans. They’re in for a surprise when they find that they cannot break Spirit (get it? They can’t break his spirit!). He does everything in his power to get back to his tribe, even befriending Native Americans and other horses along the way.

    The horses don’t actually talk, but they can snort, neigh and laugh to the point where there’s no need for Horse-to-English subtitles. However, numerous voice-overs appear, with Damon trying his best not to ham up his awful lines, which try to give the stubborn horse complex human thoughts and emotions.

    There are a few things bubbling below the surface of “”Spirit,”” namely a misdirected moral about maintaining spirit, some decent hand-drawn animation (until overbearing CGI animation buries it), and a borderline inter-species homoerotic love triangle between Spirit, a mare, and a Native named Little Creek (don’t ask). All of this amounts to a mess, displaying none of the fun or adventurousness of other Dreamworks animated films like “”Toy Story.”” This film deserves a resounding “”Boo.””

    — Billy Gil

    Staff Writer

    Best Movie Title Translation

    “”Changing Lanes”” as “”Out of Control”” in Latin America

    Ladies and gentlemen, it is a great honor to present a unique new category for film recognition: the Best Title Translation Award. This award depends on Hollywood’s international viewers and film junkies, who dutifully change the given English titles of films into their own respective languages. When these new titles are translated back into English, the results are award-worthy.

    In order to win this award, the translation of the English title must communicate more about the film or those who are in it than the original title. Past winners have included “”Babe,”” (1995) which was translated from a Chinese dialect to English as””I May Be a Pig, but I’m Not Stupid.”” Avid cinema-goers will agree that this new title is a more appropriate synopsis of the film’s plot and characters.

    But who can forget the 2001 winner, “”Not Another Teen Movie,”” whose translation from Spanish, “”Another Stupid American Film,”” helped the film claim its award. This new title probably enhanced ticket sales in Spain because who honestly wants to miss a chance to laugh at Americans? But one can’t help wondering: Had the Spanish-to-English version of the title been used in the United States, would ticket sales have been any lower?

    Now let’s consider this year’s nominations. Members of the 2002 anti-Academy had to consider translation gems from Latin America. The translation, “”A Big Boy”” for “”About a Boy,”” starring Hugh Grant left anti-Academy members wondering who the “”big boy”” was meant to be: Hugh Grant or his co-star, Nicholas Hoult. Another contender included “”Deadly Calculation,”” the eerie Latin American translation for “”Murder by Numbers,”” starring Sandra Bullock.

    After much deliberation, the members of the anti-Academy voted, and take great pleasure in presenting this year’s Best Title Translation Award to “”Changing Lanes”” for its Latin American translation: “”Out of Control.”” The voting members of the anti-Academy felt that this translation best articulated the current state of Ben Affleck’s career and love life.

    — Mara Evans

    Senior Staff Writer

    Most Underrated Film

    “”Insomnia””

    Corralling multiple Oscar-winners into one film isn’t always a good idea, hence stink-fests like “”Pay it Forward”” and “”The Shipping News”” (sorry Mr. Spacey). But “”Insomnia”” manages to collect two monster egos, Robin Williams and Al Pacino, and one promising newcomer, Academy-anointed Hillary Swank, and allow each of them to flesh out their characters subtly and sharply. Combine brilliant actors with a brilliant director, Chris Nolan of 2001’s “”Memento,”” and they get the job done nicely.

    The film begins with two LAPD officers, Will (Pacino) and Hap (Martin Donovan) traveling to an Alaskan town to aid in a murder investigation. Hap is threatening to reveal information, which would ruin Will’s estimable career. A confrontation with the killer in a dense fog leads to an “”accident.”” The ambiguity of the event and Will’s subsequent guilt fuels the rest of the film. In the Alaskan summertime, the sun barely sets, and Will doesn’t sleep for days.

    Giving away anything else would spoil the film’s subtle twists. Swank nicely underplays her role as a do-gooder cop who partners up with Will, naively looking up to him. Williams’ role as novelist and murderer Walter Finch is miles away from Patch Adams, since his charm belies the character’s underlying twisted nature. It’s enthralling to watch Williams’ and Pacino’s interplay while Walter cuts into the sleepless Will.

    Next time movie rental time comes along, pick up this tense, overlooked thriller.

    — Billy Gil

    Staff Writer

    Worst Ending

    “”Signs””

    Summer of 2002. You may remember seeing ads for a movie called “”Signs”” with Mel Gibson. A film about mysterious crop circles, and directed by “”The Sixth Sense”” director M. Night Shyamalan, “”Signs”” promised to be scary and suspenseful.

    And, it was. Up until the end of the movie, Shyamalan gave us this sense of creepiness.

    And then Gibson entered his house and saw the alien holding up his son. The alien was completely unrealistic and looked like something out of a B-rated horror film. And that would be fine if that’s what we were watching — but we weren’t. This film was touted as an intensely scary movie, but it suddenly changed gears and became a B film. The aliens looked like something that had fallen into a vat of green paint and, as revenge, decided to carry Rory Culkin around.

    The powerful secret weapon to get rid of the aliens? Water. Excuse me?! What? Why, oh why, would the aliens who were destroyed by water come to a planet that is literally covered in it?

    I honestly wonder what Shyamalan was thinking when he wrote the script. This movie had potential. And then the end happened. If you somehow find yourself watching it, make sure you turn it off before the final scenes come on. Trust me. It’ll be better that way.

    — Deena Al Shatti

    Contributing Writer

    Best Music in a Movie

    “”24 Hour Party People””

    “”24-Hour Party People,”” a film about the people and music that pioneered the Manchester, England, punk music scene in the 1970s and 1980s, deserves this year’s award for Best Music in a Movie.

    Director Michael Winterbottom chose to recreate the actual scene as best he could and film “”24-Hour Party People”” as if it were a documentary. The result is a punk connoisseur’s dream. It is a raw, grainy visual for the influential music.

    One of the pivotal moments in “”24-Hour Party People”” is in 1976 when TV reporter Tony Wilson (Steve Coogan) is one of 40 witnesses to a concert by the then unknown Sex Pistols. In this scene, it is painfully clear that the movie is not a story about Tony Wilson, a history of Manchester or a manifesto on how to be punk. This is a film about the music and about the people who made the music possible.

    The subsequent musical revolution explosion results in a soundtrack treat. Music from the Sex Pistols, Joy Division, New Order and the Happy Mondays fill this movie to the musical brim.

    The film details the rise and abrupt end of Joy Division and its transformation to New Order via lead singer Ian Curtis’s suicide. It captures the Happy Mondays on stage for their first performance, and the energy and emotion the music evoked. It follows the transition of music into house music, and the music in the end scenes at the Hacienda grab your attention.

    “”24-Hour Party People”” wins this year’s best Music in a Movie Award because of the proper showcase of the music. The beauty of “”24-Hour Party People”” is that the music is not just a compliment to a scene; it is the subject for the scene. It is the reason that the film was even made. The actors work with and around the music.

    — Jessica Kruskamp

    Senior Staff Writer

    Best Cameo Appearances

    “”Austin Powers: Gold Member””

    And for the Anti-Oscar Award for the best cameo in a film by an actor or actress being paid a significant amount of money for a 10-second face shot is … May I have the envelope please … But wait! First it’s time for an arbitrary flashback.

    Somewhere in Utah, the obligatory babe in leather on a motorcycle is being chased by the imperative-to-the-plot, gun-blazing helicopter whose gunmen couldn’t hit Texas if they were aiming at it with a bazooka. The secret agent, none other than the man of mystery himself, Austin Powers, parachutes into the driver’s seat of his remote controlled “”Shaguar.”” It’s Austin to the rescue. Austin Powers played by (he’s so dreamy) Tom Cruise. That’s right, Cruise in Steven Spielberg’s new soon-to-be-blockbuster hit, “”Austin Pussy,”” co-starring Gwyneth Paltrow as the “”Powers girl,”” Kevin Spacey as Dr. Evil and Danny DeVito as Mini-Me. Any one of these appearances would have made an excellent recipient for the Best Cameo Award. These are, however, merely the runners-up.

    Also noteworthy is the Osbournes’ cameo. Ozzy especially provides some very insightful commentary about the running tits gag. “”They fucking did that one already.”” Apparently, this highly amusing sight gag is a repetition from the previous sequel.

    Alright, the audience has waited long enough. This year’s award for the Guardian Anti-Oscar Award for the best cameo appearance in a film is the internationally acclaimed and beloved young pop star, Britney Spears. If seeing her nipples morph into gun barrels while she tries to gun down our very groovy hero isn’t thrilling enough, seeing her head explode in a blaze of fiery glory will bring a tear to any theater-goer’s eye.

    — Keely Hyslop

    Senior Staff Writer

    Worst Performance by a Good Actor/Actress

    Winona Ryder in “”Mr. Deeds””

    Throughout her career, Winona Ryder has shown that she is a credible actress with notable performances in “”Little Women”” and “”The Age of Innocence.”” Her performances demonstrated that she was able to perform a wide range of dramatic roles, and she delivered performances that were not only gripping, but also memorable. So the question that comes to mind is why she chose to star in “”Mr. Deeds.”” Hint: She was probably too busy with her “”extra-curricular”” activities to select a good role.

    Ryder plays Babe Bennett, a cynical reporter who will stop at nothing and is willing to compromise everything to get a story. Unfortunately, Ryder’s character is nothing more than a typical, confused and ethically torn heroine. There is nothing memorable about her role and she plays it as if she was just there for the paycheck.

    Bennett doesn’t have much character development and Ryder doesn’t seem to put in the performance she normally does. At times, her character does nothing more than whine and sob her way through the plot. With fine choices in movies such as “”Autumn in New York”” and “”Zoolander,”” it looks like Ryder may soon have to shoplift to actually make a living.

    It’s too bad, but hopefully Ryder will start stealing her scenes again instead of that expensive Gucci dress she loves so much.

    — Charlie Tran

    Senior Staff Writer

    Best Performance by a Bad Actor/Actress

    Adam Sandler in

    “”Punch-Drunk Love””

    So what is it about Adam Sandler movies that bring the worst and best out of actors? Out from the usual toilet humor of films such as “”Mr. Deeds”” and “”Little Nicky,”” comes Sandler with an enriching, thoughtful yet disturbing character in “”Punch-Drunk Love.”” Like Keanu Reeves would say: “”Whoa!””

    Under the direction of P.T. Anderson, Sandler shows that there is more than just a “”Billy Madison”” or a “”Happy Gilmore”” to his acting chops; there’s a person beneath all the anger, yearning to make an identity out of himself.

    More than just a man who’s out to find his place in life, Sandler makes the audience pity his “”Punch-Drunk Love”” character, Barry Egan.

    Is it possible for Sandler to be more than just a one-dimensional character? With “”Punch-Drunk Love,”” Sandler is proving to audiences that he’s more than just an actor who can play “”SNL””-type characters.

    — Charlie Tran

    Senior Staff Writer

    Actor Who is Obviously Strapped for Cash

    Cuba Gooding, Jr.

    Sometimes you look at an actor or an actress and wonder what happened. They used to have strong roles in good movies. Then their choices in roles and scripts start to take a turn for the worse. The best possible explanation is that, for whatever reason, they must need some quick money. Well, this year, the award for the actor who must be the most hard up for cash goes to Cuba Gooding Jr.

    We all remember when he had good roles, usually as a supporting actor, in some of Hollywood’s more successful movies. Gooding first began to get the respect of Hollywood and the movie-viewing public in 1992 with his role in “”A Few Good Men,”” and by the time he won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in 1996 for his role in “”Jerry Maguire,”” we were all in awe of his talent.

    However, lately we have begun to wonder what has been going on with him. We first became suspicious when “”Snow Dogs”” was released with Gooding as the leading actor. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with a serious actor taking a break to make a light-hearted flick, but come on, his co-stars were canines.

    However, the final straw came last year when we began to see previews for “”Boat Trip,”” the new Gooding movie about two straight men trapped on a gay cruise. Did we just imagine that Gooding had talent? Was it all a dream? Or is he just trying to support a drug habit, a demanding mistress, a love child? Whatever the reason, Gooding definitely wins this year’s award for Actor Who is Most Obviously Strapped for Cash.

    — Jessica Long

    Senior Staff Writer

    Most Overrated Film

    “”My Big Fat Greek Wedding””

    It’s great when an independent film is able to gain success and stand out among big-budget, mainstream Hollywood pictures. “”My Big Fat Greek Wedding”” certainly accomplished this goal by ranking as the fifth-highest grossing film of 2002. But is it really that great?

    The plot is a simplistic fusion of the ugly duckling and the problematic in-laws (i.e. “”Meet the Parents””) with an ethnic twist. This storyline has been done before in movies about ethnic families trying to accept grooms or brides from other countries, primarily from the United States. The comedy relies on extravagant interactions within the Greek family, but even those seem over-the-top at times (i.e. Windex as a cure to all ailments).

    It is true that “”My Big Fat Greek Wedding”” gained most of its spectators through word-of-mouth, yet for the amount of people who came out of the cinema pleased, just as many left confused and somewhat let down.

    The problematic feature has some high points — it’s not blatantly, grossly critical of non-American cultures like “”Polish Wedding”” and has some amusing content — but it falls short of its immense hype. Surely, the Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay and the new TV show, “”My Big Fat Greek Life,”” were completely uncalled for.

    — Anna Dylewska

    Staff Writer

    Best Anti-Date Movie

    “”jackass: the movie””

    he self-stapling, pond-jumping, gag-pulling stunt aficionados of “”jackass”” this gross-out shocker, is the ultimate antithesis to the stereotypical date flick.

    A typical Friday night date film’s checklist is full of romance, clandestine kisses and an overly mushy conclusion. Theatergoers leave the movie a little teary-eyed and clinging to a date’s hand, grateful they could partake in the date-movie experience.

    “”jackass: the movie,”” however, is devoid of romance, unless your idea of a really sensual time is taking a bowling ball to the groin. In the opening credits, the “”jackass”” men ride an enormous shopping cart (that some poor craftsman had to construct just for this purpose) into an oversized fruit stand. Bodies and bananas go flying, and dramatic music ends the sequence nicely.

    In another decidedly unromantic scene, the lovable Steve-o decides the normal process of getting a tattoo lacks off-roading. A crew piles into a Jeep and bounces over uneven lands as a tattoo artist draws a happy face on Steve-o’s bicep. In this exemplary scene, Steve-o combines pain, idiocy and permanence all in one messy little stunt.

    As for an overly mushy conclusion to “”jackass: the movie,”” Bam Margera could have used something a little softer than a toy car to jam up an unmentionable orifice, later to be passed through his bowels. Needless to say, the end of the cinematic achievement that is “”jackass”” pushes much of the audience to cover their eyes in horror and disgust.

    So, for all the pain, toilet humor and general havoc, “”jackass”” takes the proverbial cake for Anti-Date Movie of the Year.

    — Jessica Kruskamp

    Senior Staff Writer

    David Arquette Award

    The nominations for the 75th Academy Awards were released last month, and it is official: The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences has snubbed David Arquette once again.

    Oscar’s annals are jam-packed with actors and actresses we love to hate — Kevin Costner, Cher, Roberto Benini — but why not Arquette? Unlike the others, Arquette doesn’t put on any airs about his lack of acting prowess, as thoroughly evidenced by his undeniably awful body of work.

    Yet somehow, one cannot watch an Arquette film without a sick sense of intrigue and satisfaction, as if each deadpan line, each grating laugh, each blank, idiotic Arquettian expression was a car crash or a dumpster full of dead babies.

    The Academy’s inability to recognize this may well go down in Oscar history as one of the great injustices of American film. It is with this negligence fresh in mind that we grant motion picture legend David Arquette our 2003 Anti-Oscar Lifetime Achievement Award.

    In only 10 years, Arquette has made, amazingly enough, a lifetime’s worth of flat-out bad movies. While he is perhaps best known for roles in 1996’s “”Scream”” and its two sequels, Arquette hit a new low — or high, depending on how one looks at it — with a leading role in “”Eight-Legged Freaks,”” in which the actor wages battle with giant mutated spiders.

    This film, however, is only the latest in a long line of Arquette comedies, intentional and unintentional alike. In 2000, Arquette starred in “”Ready to Rumble,”” which, despite horrible box-office failure, remains among the best professional wrestling films of our time. As if that were not enough, later that very year, Arquette joined the “”real”” world of professional wrestling long enough to win a World Championship Wrestling Heavyweight Championship and hold it for an entire month (much to the chagrin of WCW owner Ted Turner, who lost a rumored $80 million when the publicity stunt tanked).

    Arquette has also been featured in the Drew Barrymore flick “”Never Been Kissed,”” the 19th century cannibalism drama “”Ravenous”” and little-seen male prostitution tour de force “”Johns.””

    So while a golden statue is most likely not in store for this anomaly of an actor, rest assured that novelty value and cult iconography will undoubtedly always be a given for Arquette.

    — Clayton Worfolk

    Associate Hiatus Editor

    Arquette Highlights-

    Eight Legged Freaks (2002) …. Chris McCormick

    See Spot Run (2001) …. Gordon

    3000 Miles to Graceland (2001) …. Gus

    Ready to Rumble (2000/I) …. Gordie Boggs

    Muppets from Space (1999) Oe. Dr. Tucker

    Never Been Kissed (1999) …. Robert ‘Mr. Rob’ Geller

    Ravenous (1999) …. Pvt. Cleaves

    johns (1996) OeOe John

    ScreamOe.. (1996) Deputy Dewey Riley

    Airheads (1994) …. Carter

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) Oe. Bennie

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