Your guide to a great Valentine's Day, guaranteed

    A great date will have you all jittery from the get-go. Your palms sweat, your stomach cramps and you have to look at your driver’s license to remember your own first name. The worst part, though, is trying to figure out how to best entertain that bodacious honey who has sparked your interest. If these problems plague you, it would behoove you to add the “”Guide to Great Dates!”” to your bookshelf.

    “”Great Dates”” is an informative but unusual guide to — you guessed it — great dates. Co-authors Paul Joannides and Toni Johnson have each been published before, Joannides most notably for the “”Guide to Getting It On!”” and Johnson for “”Handcuff Blues,”” which is designed to help teens stay out of legal trouble. The authors have joined forces to create an entertaining, if bizarre new guide.

    It’s difficult for most normal people to come up with one special idea for a date. In “”Great Dates,”” Joannides and Johnson have come up with 90. Since the authors have made no attempt to categorize the dates, the compilation of ideas resembles an edited version of a brainstorming session. Upon closer reading, however, it is noticeable that both authors have dedicated themselves to their topics, presenting fresh ideas and helpful tips for their readers.

    The outings and activities suggested by Joannides and Johnson vary from the mundane to the extravagant. The mundane side of the spectrum includes meeting for coffee, bird-watching, flying kites and shopping for antiques. Yet despite the appearances of sure-fire boredom, Joannides and Johnson attempt to clarify how different people would enjoy the various dates. For example, the authors point out that “”antique car shows can be fascinating,”” and probably more entertaining for college students than shopping for items your grandmother would enjoy.

    Of middling date-excitement are very normal outings, including skiing, roller skating and visiting a museum or the zoo. Joannides and Johnson keep these sections interesting by adding helpful hints on how to make the most of your time at any given activity. The authors even provide tips on the best way to dig a fire pit when watching a sunset from the beach.

    Perhaps one of the most entertaining reasons to read “”Great Dates”” is for the eccentric and outlandish date ideas. These include suggestions for making your own cordial and brewing your own beer, making your own volcano, and going to clown school. The activity that will leave the greatest impression, however, is one where Joannides and Johnson suggest “”molding your date,”” which involves taking molds of each other’s body parts. The authors even include a section about taking a mold of your date’s genitalia, but advise that lots of lubricant be used to protect pubic hair. Joannides and Johnson candidly add that “”this might not be the sort of thing you’d want to suggest for a first date.””

    Despite the wackiness of several date ideas, the “”Guide to Great Dates!”” covers all its bases in an effort to ensure that the reader will themselves at some point score. If nothing else, “”Great Dates”” is a fun-filled activity book, good for keeping any number, or type, of people occupied.

    More to Discover
    Donate to The UCSD Guardian
    $200
    $500
    Contributed
    Our Goal

    Your donation will support the student journalists at University of California, San Diego. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment, keep printing our papers, and cover our annual website hosting costs.

    Donate to The UCSD Guardian
    $200
    $500
    Contributed
    Our Goal