Yesterday at a press conference, the UCSD athletic department announced that the school will be moving down from Division II back to the Division III level beginning with play next fall.

The announcement comes as a bit of a shock. Much work went into moving up to Division II this year, and a strong athletic program seemed to be the goal. Apparently, this has changed.

The reasoning for this move is that the Tritons would be more apt to win against the lesser competition.

“”Being that the students are highly competitive at UCSD, we felt that this move would better fit their needs,”” said UCSD Sports Information Director Gill Bannon. “”This enables the athletic teams on campus to seriously contend for every national championship year in and year out.””

UCSD is much larger that most Division III schools. Back when the Tritons formerly competed at the Division III level, it was very successful. Championships were a common occurrence. It hopes to revisit that success next year.

Some are murmuring that the move down a level is to help those teams that did not have very good years this year at Division II to compete more successfully.

“”I have no comment about that,”” Bannon said.

Last year, the women’s basketball team finished only .500 after winning 20 games the previous year. The men’s basketball team struggled for its four wins. Both the men’s and women’s volleyball squads have seen better years. Other teams had average years when, were they in Division III, they would have dominated.

“”Sure, I like this idea of going back to Division III,”” said women’s basketball coach Mudy Jalone. “”Look at our record this year. Look at our competition. Just think of the damage we could have done playing the likes of Chapman and Occidental.””

There were a number of teams that did have successful years at the Division II level. The women’s soccer team, for example, won the national championship. Still, the squad is looking forward to the change.

“”We should be able to kick everyone’s ass,”” said Triton goal keeper Paki Koma. “”We rocked the best schools at the Division II level last year. You couldn’t stop us, only pray to contain us. Against Division III, there would be no reason to even show up for the first half. We could sit out the first half, show up in the second, and still spank those fools.””

“”This will give us an opportunity to try new things,”” said UCSD women’s soccer head coach Ryan McDonald. “”We can mix it up a little. Perhaps put some children on the field. I am sure that they can hang. It’s never too early to get started.””

The men’s soccer team made the playoffs this year at Division II, but the possibilities if they had been at a lower level were limitless.

“”That damn championship would have been ours,”” said men’s soccer head coach Derek Legweak. “”[Babbi] Saadati would have cleaned up. I can’t wait for next year. We’ll hoist that trophy yet.””

The move does not affect a number of teams, including water polo, track and field, and swimming, who play in open divisions.

“”Those other guys are weak,”” said track and field head coach Sony Talerno. “”We go against the best around every day. Now they get to play the likes of Redlands all the time? Give me a break. They are all … pussys. Track and field is where it’s at.””

The move down is very different than the move up. Much preparation is needed to move up, but to move down, it can happen within the next year.

“”I feel that this is the best step for the university,”” said Triton Athletic Director Erle Edwardo.