Time to Name the Triton's New Mascot

    It’s nice to see the most recent step that UCSD athletics has taken to wrench our campus from the lack of school spirit. We finally have a mascot.

    All major athletics programs have mascots. I can just now picture the Stanford tree. Duke University has that guy dressed as a Blue Devil. Seems appropriate. San Diego State has that silly guy dressed like an Aztec jumping up and down, who has brought so much controversy.

    Now we have our own Triton mascot.

    A mascot leads and inspires crowds to cheer for the home team. It is a symbol we can all rally around; something to get stoked about. It adds that much more to the experience of UCSD athletics and the UCSD college experience overall.

    Now all we need to do is name the mascot.

    Earlier this year, I called out for suggestion to rename RIMAC. RIMAC is so dry. We need something that strikes fear or wonder — or anything. The only suggestion so far are “”Atlantis”” and “”The Macky.””

    Now it is the mascot’s turn.

    He needs a name that represents the school, strikes fear into opponents, or just plain sounds good.

    Here are a few suggestions.

    My crack staff of reporters, (OK, mostly just myself and the loony Lobster guy) have done a lot of thinking, and this is what we’ve come up with.

    Timmy or Tommy the Triton sounds good. It has alliteration, which is often nice. But it sounds too elementary. “”Look out, here comes Timmy the Triton. Run for your lives!”” That is not going to work.

    King Triton would work. That was the name of Ariel’s dad in the Disney classic, “”The Little Mermaid.”” He was powerful and she was hot. But it is not that original.

    Neptune is also a possibility, being that Triton and Neptune are essentially the same.

    How about Monty Triton? Oh, wait, another school around here has something similar, and they have had trouble with that.

    There is always Slougey. It just sounds good.

    How ’bout Teddy RuxTriton. Many of us are children of the ’80s.

    Other suggestions are “”Old Dirty Man,”” “”Crazy old Man,”” and my favorite, “”Old Dirty Bastard With a Fork.”” That would, of course, lead to “”Big Baby Jesus with a Fork.”” All of you Wu Tang Clan fans will know what I’m talking about.

    And there is always the favorite, “”Hungry Moses.”” It is derived from Moses with a Fork.

    Another winner that came in at the last second is “”Mr. T.”” I pity the fool who disses UCSD!

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