About two weeks ago Stephen Colbert announced his plans to
run in the 2008 presidential election. Television-less, I didn’t find out until
the next day, when Facebook told me many of my friends had already joined the site’s
“1,000,000 Strong For Stephen T. Colbert” group, and that I too had been
invited to join.

I left the invitation unanswered and went on with my week;
the fires struck, school was closed and I soon forgot Colbert completely —
until today.

Thanks to Facebook’s stalker-level “news feed,” I was
notified that two particular friends recently joined the group. Now usually I
glaze right over notices like this, preferring to check out recently posted
photos or events (don’t judge, you do it too!), but this one actually caught my attention.

I met the first friend in high school. She attends community
college near our hometown and when she introduces herself to people she tells
them three things: her name, that she’s Christian and that she’s pro-life.
Obviously it’s no surprise that she identifies her political views as “very
conservative.”

The second friend I met in college. She has since graduated
and is now in the process of joining the Peace Corps. She likes good music,
getting krunk and doesn’t believe in God. This friend identifies her political
leanings as “very liberal.”

Though both girls are nice, they aren’t exactly on the same
political team.

But party loyalties don’t matter to Colbert, who said he’s
running both as a democrat and a republican. So despite severe ideological
differences, both friends have thrown their support his way.

Just 14 days after he
entered the race, Colbert’s Facebook support has mushroomed to an astounding
1.3 million young people, over 4,000 of whom registered to vote after hearing
of his campaign.

You’ve got to hand it to Colbert: Certainly no candidate in
my lifetime has been able to capture what political analysts call “the youth
vote” so well. The “Hillary Clinton for President — One Million STRONG” has,
despite its name, only just over 8,000 members. The “Barack Obama (One Million
Strong for Barack)” group is doing a little better with nearly 400,000 members.
The “Mitt Romney (One Million Strong For Mitt)” has about 15,000 members. And
poor Rudy Guiliani has only been able to woo 113 young people to his “million
strong” group. Keep in mind these candidates have been campaigning for months.

While Colbert’s campaign isn’t likely to actually threaten
them, these out-of-touch politicians deserve the scare they should be feeling.
Campy as the sentiment is, we college students are the key voting demographic
of the future. And it certainly wouldn’t hurt to give us some attention.

It’s a vicious cycle: Young people can’t connect with
detached rhetoric-filled politicians, making it hard for them to get excited
about voting.

Politicians see that the youth vote is very small and don’t
take the demographic seriously. So they continue to think they’re safe ignoring
college students, and college students become even further disinterested in the
democratic process — choosing to focus attention on celebrity gossip instead of
life-changing governmental decisions.

(Like the Patriot Act, republican Supreme Court appointments
or jumping into an unjust and unprovoked war backed only by scare tactics, to
name a few.)

OK, so Colbert has the support of college students, or at
least more than any other major candidate. The question now is: What will he do
with this support? He’s famous for being satirical, and is a master at staying
in character — that’s why people love him.

He’s brilliant and hilarious, and while his gag crusade for
president is sure to be equally so, perhaps this time the joke has gone a
little too far.

I’m not convinced Colbert’s supporters are in on the joke.
Rightfully starved for a contender they can connect with, his followers see
Colbert as the light at the end of a vapid candidate tunnel and genuinely want
to see him win. (Hell, part of me feels the same way.)

But in a country desperately in need of strong new
leadership, he has the potential to be a dangerous wrench in the democratic
gears. What happens when millions of young people waste their votes on a
comedic version of Ralph Nader, splitting the vote and dooming the United
States to another four years of corruption, environmental destruction and
constitutional dismantlement?

Though the tremendous support Colbert has gained is
awesomely scary, I guess I might be overreacting. It has only been two weeks,
and election day is still over a year away.

And while I hope we see this joke-campaign’s punch line
soon, all we can do at this point is sit back and let the hilarity ensue.

Dear Editor,

Thank you for the opportunity to correct the
mischaracterization of my position regarding the mission and program priorities
of the Office of Academic Support and Instructional Services that appeared in
your Oct. 22 article, “O.A.S.I.S. Survives Funding Drought.”

Contrary to the article, I never “lost interest in serving a
broad degree of new freshmen who would benefit from services that facilitate
their transition to UCSD.” In fact, I strongly advocated that O.A.S.I.S. should
focus its academic support services on three target populations and have
objective criteria for evaluating how effectively it was serving each
population:

1. All new undergraduates — both freshmen and junior-level
transfer students.

2. All new students with “predicted low first year grade
point averages” who have a higher relative probability of not making
Satisfactory Academic Progress during their first quarters at UCSD.

3. First-year students on academic probation or subject to
dismissal status.

The above set of priorities serves all undergraduates and,
most importantly, directs extra attention and services on a priority basis to
those students with the greatest academic support needs. The effectiveness of
such an approach is in part demonstrated by the initial success of the Student
Affairs interdepartmental Goals In Action Program in assisting students with
academic difficulty to improve their academic performance and return to
satisfactory academic status.

— Joseph W. Watson

Former Vice Chancellor of

Student Affairs

Shoppers pass by a model version of UTC’s planned expansion, which will include 150 new retail stores, 250 housing units and enhanced dining and entertainment options. (Eric Rounds/Guardian)

After 30 years of remaining relatively untouched, the stagnant
facade of La Jolla’s Westfield Shoppingtown UTC shopping complex has given its
owners a reason to gear up for a massive architectural overhaul.

Westfield’s proposed $900-million facelift could potentially
add 250 housing units amid its more than 150 new retail stores, along with
dining and entertainment options. UTC is one of seven centers owned by
Westfield Group, an Australian company that manages roughly 120 properties
worldwide, 60 in the United States alone. The remodeled mall would bring 5,500
construction and design jobs and 3,000 permanent jobs to the city.

The Web site dedicated to the project invites viewers to
imagine “a fresh outdoor look reflecting the unique character of the San Diego
lifestyle.”

Part of Westfield’s new proposal is providing a “sustainable
design,” creating environmentally friendly and efficient buildings. The
designers plan to attain a Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design
certification from the U.S. Green Building Council — a non-profit coalition
designed to promote construction that mitigates negative impacts on the
environment — which has already named the project a LEED Neighborhood
Development Pilot Project.

The new design would reduce freshwater consumption with the
use of recycled water for land irrigation, and also include solar panels as a
renewable energy source. An expanded transit system would also push for a
decreased reliance on automotive transportation.

According to Tim Daly, the city’s development project
manager, a draft of the environmental impact report was open for public review
in early August. However, members of the University City Planning Group said
the report still leaves much to be desired.

The group issued a response to the report on Oct. 9, calling
it vague and ambiguous among other criticisms.

“The whole problem with their plan is they have seven
different versions of it,” UCPG Chairwoman Linda Colley said.

The various proposals for the land’s use range from a movie
theater to a 35-story high rise that may interfere with the airspace of the
Marine Corps Air Station in Miramar. However, none of these proposals are
discussed in depth within the report — a choice implying that the company could
choose to change its building plans without community action, the UCPG response
said.

UCSD Community Planner Milton Phegley said that the
community is simply being cautious.

“The community’s experience has oftentimes been that
promised improvements either lag behind the development which causes the
problems or the improvements are never completed,” he said in an e-mail.

Issues with traffic congestion and noise in the area are
also of paramount concern to the community group. Westfield’s proposed
transportation system would include an expanded bus transit center, and the San
Diego Association of Governments is pursuing the extension of the light-rail
trolley to connect University City to Old Town. Enhancing such forms of public
transportation could encourage ridership and decrease the traffic impact on the
renovated shopping center.

However, the proposal also includes a plan that would add
more parking spaces, which would bring an estimated 18,000 car trips per day.
With traffic already heavy on Genesee Avenue, and nearby freeway onramps to
Interstate 805 and Interstate 5 providing additional congestion, some
environmental groups say the proposal could strain city roads and threaten air
quality.

“This project would drive the need for widening Genesee
Avenue and the Regents Road Bridge project,” said environmentalist Debbie
Knight, president of the Friends of Rose Canyon. “To me, this is not a green
project.”

Westfield representatives could not be reached for comment.

With public review closed as of Oct. 10, the company has
been left to make changes and improve its proposal.

“The question is, can the community legitimize their side to
make them honor what the community wants?” Colley said.

A date for a final EIR has not been determined, Daly said.

After the final draft is submitted and final project issues
are set, the city’s Planning Commission will hold a public hearing in front of
City Council to approve the project. No date has been set for the hearing.

In the wake of the largest fire-related evacuation in state history, Chancellor Marye Anne Fox and Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Penny Rue praised the campus’ response to the disaster at an Oct. 31 town hall meeting, despite some criticism regarding UCSD Medical Center’s decision to not pay employees who failed to work last week.After acknowledging the 11 UCSD staff and faculty members who lost their homes to the fire, Rue directed the crowd’s attention to the accomplishments of the campus’ crisis management team and emphasized efficient communication between UCSD and the students and faculty, as well as UCSD and local authorities.

Fox praised the university’s emergency notification system, which was assembled following April’s Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University massacre to keep students continuously informed with up-to-the-minute information through personal text messages and voice mail. Though Fox was overseas on business when the fires first broke out, she said she still received notification from the system and returned to San Diego as quickly as possible.

In addition, the Academic Affairs Office, Business Affairs Office and Housing and Dining Services all worked together to keep the university functioning for those who remained on campus, Fox said.

Rue also addressed the academic and personal issues that students may face due to the fires, especially after canceling the week of classes. She urged students to go to office hours, seek tutoring and use all available campus resources to their advantage to accommodate the missed week.

“It’s stressful to lose a week out of a 10-week quarter,” Rue said. “It’s a sign of strength to ask for help.”

She added that emergency loans are available for those struggling financially, and those who could not get to work.

However, some attendees raised concerns about UCSD Medical Center employees, who — unlike their UCSD staff counterparts — were not paid if they were not working during that week.

Medical center CEO Richard Liekweg argued that the situations were different, because while UCSD was closed for all nonessential staff members, the medical center remained opened during the fires and its employees were expected to go to work.

Vice Chancellor of Business Affairs Steven W. Relyea spoke about measures that UCSD took to protect the community from similar large-scale disasters. He boasted not only of UCSD’s efficient coordination with San Diego city officials, but also about the determination of those who stayed on campus to help.

“The only problem we had was telling someone to take a break,” Relyea said.

UCSD’s campuswide emergency drill, held a week before the fires, was presented as evidence of thorough preparation.

“We had the same people in the same desks doing the same protocols last week,” he said.

Relyea echoed Fox’s sentiment, stressing the importance of the emergency notification system that UCSD modified this past summer. He admitted that although there is no “silver bullet” for communication issues, having a multi-pronged approach with text messages, voice messages and e-mails proved very successful.

The UCSD School of Medicine and other medical schools across
the country have begun expanding their class sizes to accommodate rising
numbers of applicants and address the predicted shortage of medical
professionals.

In response to a call from the Association of American
Medical Colleges to expand enrollment by 30 percent by 2015, the UCSD School of
Medicine has increased its class size by 10 percent this year alone.

Carolyn Kelly, associate dean of admissions and student
affairs at the UCSD School of Medicine, said that this year’s class consists of
134 students, compared to a past class size of 122.

In expanding numbers, UCSD joined the growing ranks of
medical schools trying to meet the AAMC’s goal. Some schools, such as Michigan
State University’s College of Human Medicine and the University of Arizona’s
College of Medicine, are even adding additional campuses.

However, enrollment has not kept up the pace with rising
application rates. Kelly said UCSD’s School of Medicine has witnessed about a
5-percent increase in the number of applications every year for the past five
years. This jump in applicants allows the school to be more selective and
increase the academic quality of applicants, she said.

Nationwide trends mirror those at UCSD, with an 8.2-percent
increase in applications over the past year, compared to only a 2.3-percent
rise in acceptance rates.

Medical school admission is becoming more competitive
largely due to the higher number of applicants. In addition, this year’s
applicant pool was more qualified than ever before.

According to the AAMC, applicants for the 2007-08 school
year had the highest average Medical College Admissions Test scores and
undergraduate GPAs on record. Each year, students applying to medical school
also have more experience in pre-medical activities.

AAMC officials say that there is no obvious reason for the
dramatic jump in applications, but there are several potential causes. The
group has been pursuing efforts to promote medical school, especially to
underrepresented portions of the population. These efforts seem to have been at
least partially successful, with AAMC reporting that black and Latino males
both applied at rates that were almost 10 percent higher this year.

While some students join service groups and study furiously
for the MCAT, others find that the hysteria about medical school applications
may be blown out of proportion.

“Some people may find the task of applying to medical school
difficult, with the separate applications, secondary [supplementary
applications] and interviews,” said Ben Hu, a first-year student at the UCSD
School of Medicine. “But if you’re the type who’s prepared and on top of
things, it’s only marginally worse than the college application process.”

The numbers indicate that medical school still holds a
considerable allure for many UCSD students. Kelly said that the increase may
reflect an rise in population size for students in their 20s — which therefore
leads to an increase in the size of the pre-med section of that population —
and the uncertain economy, which can make medicine seem a stable and lucrative
alternative.

“Ideally, everyone wants to pursue medicine to help people,”
said Revelle College senior Siu-Ling Sit, president of the UCSD Pre-Medical
Association of Students for Service. “Of course, it does pay a tremendous
amount of money, easily six figures, and it’s probably the one job that every
parent wants their child to pursue.”

John Muir College sophomore Chelsea Kolander, a second-year
intern at the Student Services Center, decided to pursue a career in medicine
after developing ovarian cysts at age 14, and started learning about women’s
issues.

Despite the intense competition, many students still say
they are optimistic about their future in medicine.

“I’m definitely going to apply [to medical school],”
Kolander said. “I definitely want to get in right after college but if I don’t
get in, I will apply again the next year.”

Despite a two-year decline in the number of students
applying to law schools, the competitiveness of newly admitted classes has
either increased or remained constant during this time — a seeming paradox that
may nonetheless offer hope to prospective law students.

A survey circulated to admissions officers at 190 national
law schools by exam preparation service Kaplan Test Prep and Admissions found
that about half of the queried schools reported a drop in applications over the
last two years. Though the numbers of applicants have tended to rise and fall
over the decades the survey has been conducted, in the past few years the
national trend has taken an unprecedented downturn.

Steve Marietti, director of Kaplan’s pre-law program, said
that 2006 saw a 4.8-percent decline in applicants. For the current year, the
number has decreased drastically — a staggering 17.4 percent.

Since the 1950s, many other options have opened for students
who instead pursue graduate degrees or join the work force. The number of students
pursuing medical, biological or engineering careers has also risen, which may
contribute to the dwindling numbers of law school applicants.

“The strength of the economy, including the availability of
jobs, has a significant effect in what students choose to pursue in their
post-undergrad years,” Marietti said.

Despite the drop in applicants, most law schools say that
their classes are as academically qualified as ever.

Marietti said the reason for the high-quality applicant pool
in spite of the decline in interest is due to the fact that qualified students
continue to apply.

“Others may be discouraged to apply because of the
competitive nature of the application process, therefore raising the averages
of enrolling classes,” he said.

Marietti reported that while 50 percent of admissions
offices agreed that they were receiving fewer applications, 79 percent said
that their admitted classes were not becoming any less competitive.

Contrary to the shrinking applicant figures, the number of
students actually enrolling in law school is on a slow rise. According to data
from the American Bar Association Legal Education and Admissions branch
released in February, the number enrolled has risen 0.3 percent, by
approximately over 800 students.

Although nationally it seems that the applicant pool is
decreasing, some schools have reported climbs in their choice of applicants.
According to Robert Schwartz, assistant dean of admissions at the UCLA School
of Law, numbers increased from 5,834 to 6,499.

Marietti warned that the current statistics should be taken
with a grain of salt.

“The events we see in place here are really relative to the
current time period,” he said. “These statistics will have their ups and downs,
just like any other sort of statistical graph. What this means, though, is that
students need to take advantage of the stats.”

This week’s A.S. Council meeting was dominated by a guest
appearance from Chancellor Marye Anne Fox, who addressed the council in a way
reminiscent of Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Penny Rue’s recent visit.

Fox presented an overview of the progress that’s been made
in improving the undergraduate experience — a laundry list that stretched from
more on-campus housing to late-night bus routes and extended library hours.
According to Fox, UCSD will have added more than 4,000 beds by 2011, growth
which she described as “the most aggressive in the nation.”

Fox explained her goal to eventually house 50 percent of the
student population on campus. In her view, the philosophy takes into account
the desires of community residents who both dislike the traffic congestion from
student commuters as well as the construction of new on-campus housing.

However, no discourse about student housing would be
complete without raising the contentious issue of the proposed North Campus
transfer housing and its impact on the nearby gliderport.

Associate Vice President of Local Affairs Aida Kuzucan,
who’s been working with the La Jolla Town Council to ameliorate UCSD’s strained
relationship with the community, commented on the transfer housing at the Oct.
10 A.S. Council meeting, saying “We should not, not, not, not let this happen …
We are not the only people living in La Jolla. We have to make compromises.”

Kuzucan raised the issue to Fox at last night’s meeting with
some delicate phrasing, describing the controversy as creating “discomfort” in
the La Jolla community. Fox brushed ambiguity
aside and said, “Are you talking about the gliderport people?”

“People in the La Jolla
community are getting behind them,” Kuzucan said. “[The] community feels like
they’re being invaded.”

Fox seemed less than inclined to make changes to the plan
because the future high-rise buildings will only impact fixed-wing gliders.

“I think we’ve done our best,” Fox said. “It’s a prudent use
of state lands to house students at reasonable prices.”

All Campus Senator Meghan Clair, citing growing support in a
Facebook.com group, asked Fox about the prospect of a UCSD football team.
According to Clair, former Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Joseph W. Watson
estimated that it would cost $1 million to start a football team.

The ever-nimble Fox had some her own statistics waiting at
the wings, namely the $72-million and $100-million Division-I football programs
at Pennsylvania State University and Ohio State University, respectively.

“If you’re interested, keep the cards and letters coming,
but for now we don’t have the money,” Fox said.

She also lauded the performance of UCSD’s emergency
operations center during last week’s wildfires and emphasized the multiple
evacuation scenarios that the university was ready to execute.

“Or we could bring you all down to the beach,” she said. “It
probably would have been the world’s biggest beach party.”

Friday before last, on the verge of a weekend that would set
the San Diego countryside ablaze and displace hundreds of its inhabitants, the
musicians of Virginia’s legendary Hwy. 58 (or, more sentimentally, its Crooked
Road) took the low-lit Mandeville stage, awkward through introductions and
stiffly scripted back-stories. The clammy sidenotes to their traveling roadshow
— which, thanks to the talent-sniffers at ArtPower!, took its very first
pitstop at UCSD — gave us spectators a hyper-awareness of our own location and
their contrasting displacement, this far-off band of locals on a history-lesson
crusade through the States, a noisy travel brochure for southwestern Virginia.
Thick mountain accents reported an unmatchable legacy of handed-down folk
songs, explained bluegrass’ African roots in the blues and declared the music
of their dearest backcountry more than a genre or art form — more a way of
life.

And that is musically apparent from the get-go.
Nineteen-year-old traditionalist Elizabeth LaPrelle devotes her life and voice,
with an eerily antique strength and twang, to preserving the original lyrics
(many of which are, somewhat humorously, directed from a male suitor to his
chosen maiden) and replicating the precise delivery methods of her ancestral countryfolk.
The small, starkly plain college girl stood as an interactive piece in a
regional museum, lending labored authenticity to the fiddles and banjos and
bass plods of her fellow Virginia
players, who seemed more interested in acheiving new levels of string-blurring
virtuosity.

One of these male instrumentalists — Eddie Bond, certainly
the showman of the bunch — used small-town anecdotes like the teenage
complaint-song “Furniture Factory Blues” to set the scene for us West-Coast
foreigners, even showing off a nimble-footed jig and multitasking as a feisty
vocalist from atop the chin-rest of a fiddle the size of one lung. Eddie would
later join award-winning banjo whiz Sammy Shelor — a lumbering man with fingers
like hummingbirds — and a gang of reliable neighors suited in plaid, never
without their trusty wooden counterparts, for an outback string symphony that
attempted to recreate the kind of impromptu community pluckin’ that one might
encounter on a Virginia roadside. Similarly, the Whitetop Mountain Band, a
family affair with an almost overloaded platter of versatility, set out to show
the SoCal intellectuals how a rip-roarin’ Christmas party goes down at the
Spencer household. All the community members professed mutual admiration,
bounced anecdotal wisecracks off one another and often stepped in when an extra
set of strings was needed to round out the almost circus-like bandwagon.

It’s understandably difficult for such musically instinctual
people to put into dry speech the kind of togetherness they feel and the ties
they feel to Virginia’s history-rich soil; but even their unfailing virtuosity
and joyousness in performance maintained the transplanted air of someone else’s
local love. Sure, our own Crooked Road is a five-lane highway touring a sea of
sprawling mansions, but with or without a family-owned banjo shopt, the
ArtPower! import gave us a new awareness of our own ties — an intimacy all
humans form with the land that holds them.

In the Pipeline
How to gather a group of education-wary college students for
a Thursday night of lecture, on the classical traditions of 18th- and
19th-century France? Throw in a little free food — or better yet, a barrelful
of wine! After a few glasses through the sprightly, formal talents of the
history-illustrating Paris Piano Trio, you’ll no doubt understand how the
burgandy-lipped French bourgeoisie enjoyed their instrumental and agricultural
studies so heartily. Taste of Art: Wines of France will take place at Wine
Steals in Point Loma on Nov. 8.

Going down right here in our own International Center, a
skirted Islamic troupe of traditional Whirling Dervishes is set to whip up your
Turkish appetite — think kebabs and those delicious little grape-leaf rolls —
with a holy channeling of all that revolves, and chef-white costumes fitting to
the feast. Earn culture points with a pre-performance ArtTalk. Taste of Art:
Turkish Feast will take place at the International Center on Nov. 16.

The Cool Kids
“Black Mags”
Chocolate Industries
{grate 4}

If you thought the Trunk Boiz’ YouTube hit “Scraper Bikes”
was the only example of rappers expressing their newfound love for bikes, you
are sorely mistaken. Chicago
hipster-hoppers the Cool Kids hit the cyber-streets with this ode to BMX bikes
with 3-Spoke Mag rims — and though they lack the Trunk Boiz’ DIY work ethic,
these Kids are significantly more talented on the mic. They rap exclusively
over bass-heavy, old-school beats (“Ride past shorty light-skinned no melanin/
Shirt look like somebody stuck two melons in”), and, perhaps more importantly,
dress like they’re straight off the set of “Do The Right Thing.”

Check out their low-budget music video online to find out
just how cool they can be. Trust me — you’ll end up running straight to the
swap meet to cop some Starter caps of your own.

— Willy Staley

Contributing Writer

Jay-Z feat. Ja Rule
“Can I Get a Remix”
Tapemasters Inc.
{grate 4}

Fans are waiting for Jay-Z’s American Gangster (Nov. 6),
modeled after the upcoming Denzel Washington flick, like crackheads awaiting a
re-up. So sure, let’s feed that already fat Beyonce retirement fund by sitting
tight for film-inspired tracks about crack-dealing, corner-grinding and the
conventional gamut of gangster-ism — or not.

Available now is Tapemasters Inc.’s mixtape variant, dubbed
The Mixtape Reloaded, which revisits and remixes the grandest hits from Hova’s
history. The rethought classics are often more refreshing than Jay-Z’s latest
material, especially the Basshedz-produced “Can I Get A… ,” a romping
renovation of the 1998 hit. The track remembers Jay-Z at his smoothest lyrical
peak, heavy handclaps and stomp-beats flashing us back to the high school
bleachers where this classic was made legendary. And thankfully cut from the
latter-day version is Amil, so we can leave her diva demand hanging: “How we
gonna get around on your bus pass?”

— Charles Nguyen

Senior Staff Writer

The Clan with Witty Unpredictable Talent and Natural Game is
back! Well, almost. Only Ghostface, Raekwon and Method Man turn up for this
White Album-snatching, slow-going RZA track, but each MC brings enough ruckus
to make up for the members that didn’t show — Ghostface especially. The only
flaw in this dart is Erykah Badu’s fluffy chorus, a pretty underwhelming
variation of the original George Harrison take.

8 Diagrams, the first Wu album since 2001, drops Dec. 11 —
pushed back a week to appease a bitter Ghostface, whose seventh album was set
to hit shelves the same day.

— Andres Reyes

Contributing Writer

Messy Marv feat. Mac Dre
“My Life’s Like a Movie”
Scalen
{grate 3}

If rappers learned anything from Tupac, it’s that
productivity is incredibly important. The more prolific you are, the easier it
is to release music — even while you’re in jail, or if you happen to get killed
(sorry, but it’s true). “My Life’s Like a Movie” is a wonderful example of this
phenomenon.

Though Messy Marv is in jail for probably the third time in
as many years, and the third anniversary of Mac Dre’s untimely death is Oct.
31, we’re now handed a fresh track from the two of them, off Marv’s upcoming
Draped Up and Chipped Out Vol. 2.

On a separate note, it’s always amusing to see which Bay
Area rapper will ditch his hyphy upbringings next. Despite the fact that he’s
rapping alongside hyphy pioneer Mac Dre, Marv tries to claim that “all that
funny-ass dancing ain’t what my niggas ’bout.” Really?

— Willy Staley

Contributing Writer

Jay Electronica
So What You Sayin

Have you ever listened to an MC for a couple minutes, then
just sat there and wondered, “How the fuck did he do that?” Yeah, this is one
of those tracks. And Jay Electronica is one of those underappreciated few that
can pull it off, packing relentless delivery and crazy wordplay — ’80s wrestler
Rowdy Roddy Piper and the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl both score references — that
“So What You Sayin” pairs over a booming Dilla beat. A good combination, to say
the least.

— Andres Reyes

Contributing Writer

Scarface
Girl U Know

Scarface has always had a soft spot for an extended soul
sample to set the mood — before he flips his confident Southern-gentleman
love-rhymes on that bitch. But this chopped-up serenade is typical Snore&B,
slathered onto a stunted beat that Virginia
producer Nottz should have thrown to the dogs — not Texas’ golden Geto Boy, on an album that
promises to sizzle away all December’s cold. Certainly, Scarface doesn’t let
Nottz slow him down on this one, exploring the dankest corners of a twisted
love triangle and kicking the titular dirty cheater to the curb where she
belongs.

— Simone Wilson

Hiatus Editor

Hiatus Picks the Week’s Best Bets

Devil’s Night Ball

Kava Lounge / Oct. 30 / 9 p.m. / $10

There’s no better way to welcome in this All Hallow’s Eve
than with ghoulish and garish duo Tragic Tantrum, bringing their campy cabaret
performance to Kava Lounge this Tuesday with all the punk fittings. Their
playful yet menacing sing-a-longs are paired with stripped-down accoustics
(occasionally even a xylophone) and an art-exhibit backdrop with a Day of the
Dead altar and surrounding costume ball. (JG)

“We Own The Night”

La Jolla Village Cinemas / Now Playing

Filling the crime void left by “The Departed” (at least
until “American Gangster”) is James Gray’s tale of one family’s ties to both
sides of the law — one brother (Mark Wahlberg) has followed in the family
footsteps to become a respected NYPD officer, while the other (Joaquin Phoenix)
manages a popular night club that doubles as a drug-running front for the mob.
Life paths and allied interests inevitably collide in what’s more of a popcorn
flick than the study of violence that was Scorsese’s modern classic, but
“Night” is the best bet for those who can’t go another minute without a highly
stylized shootout or bullet-riddled corpse. (CM)

This Week’s On-Campus Events

ANIME SCreening

Price Center Theater

Oct. 29, 7 p.m.

FREE

Chambers String Quartet

Neruosciences Inst.

Oct. 29, 8 p.m.

FREE

Roma Nights: Derek Evans

Espresso Roma

Oct. 29, 8 p.m.

FREE

“A HEro For Daisy”

Women’s Center

Oct. 30, 6 p.m.

FREE

“Hostel Part 2”

Price Center Theater

Oct. 30, 6 & 9 p.m.

$3

“Zeigeist”

Che Cafe

Oct. 30, 7 p.m.

FREE

Halloween Costume Contest

Price Center Plaza

Oct. 31, 11:30 a.m.

FREE

“HARRY POTTER 5”

Price Center Theater

Nov. 1, 6 & 9 p.m.

$3

7 generations, Die Young & Shallow Breathing

Che Cafe

Oct. 2, 9 p.m.

$5

Lars may be borderline agoraphobic and more socially
repressed than a UCSD undergrad, but true love is just a click away when the
introvert discovers a Web site that ships anatomically correct girlfriends on
the overnight express. So she doesn’t speak English, can’t walk and, oh yeah,
is made entirely of plastic. Maybe she’s the perfect woman. But is she the
right one for Lars?

The premise is a little absurd: One shy young man orders a
sex doll off the Internet, introducing her to friends and family as his
girlfriend, a paraplegic Brazilian/Danish missionary. But it’s pulled off with
such unflinching sincerity and deadpan poise that we can’t help but take it
seriously; in fact, “Lars and the Real Girl” is often touching and constantly
funny, its rare mix of guilty chuckles and laugh-out-loud tragedies intricately
woven by the brilliant screenwriting of Nancy Oliver (HBO original series “Six
Feet Under”) and an Oscar-worthy performance by Ryan Gosling (star of
“Fracture” and “Half Nelson”). When Lars asks his brother Gus (Paul Shneider)
to accommodate Bianca while she visits, he quickly takes her in — after all, it
wouldn’t be prudent to share a room out of wedlock — and sets up an appointment
with Dagmar (Patricia Clarkson), the local shrink, who advises everyone to play
along until Lars is ready for the truth.

And so they do. From there, it’s a journey through the usual
maze of any relationship: Bianca sleeps in the guest room while Lars lives in
the garage, and she volunteers at the children’s center when he’s away at work.
But at the heart of the film is the way Lars’ family and small town cater to
his illusions. They push her wheelchair, dress and bathe her — even elect her
to the school board, all for the sake of a shy little man in desperate need of
love. They see a friend who’s sick and do everything in their power to help
him, no matter how hard it is to keep a straight face. It’s thrilling to find a
major motion picture that can carry a premise belonging in a Saturday Night
Live skit to such earnest depths, yet still wade in a sea of humor.

As the whole community begins to take part in Lars’
delusion, the film’s focus turns away from the elephant in the room — a
silicone doll in fishnet stockings — to the obvious pain that underpins Lars’
descent into fantasy. If Gosling had let up for even an instant, the movie’s
delicate spell would shatter. Instead, his affection for Bianca, played by a
lovely Nordstrom’s mannequin, is so genuine that the elephant only rears its
head when, in perfect comedic timing, the surrounding characters have to stop
and remind themselves of the absurdity of it all.

Like that sweet little girl scout standing outside the
supermarket pushing those Tag-Alongs on us, “Dan in Real Life” is pretty cute —
but how many packaged movies about well-to-do New Englanders holding family
reunions do we really need? There seems to be a burgeoning demand for sappy
romantic comedies centered on Uncle Carl’s follies as he falls in love with
Uncle Bob’s hotter half. The result is tepid chaos — nobody gets very heated in
this cinematic suburbia, a fairytale about what families would be like if Mr.
Rogers were the prototype for every father and minivans ran on moon dust
instead of gasoline.

Here’s a family that hosts talent shows and plays team
crossword puzzles to decide who’ll do the breakfast dishes — even supports
girlfriend swaps for the greater good of the film. Superb acting by Ma and Pa
(Diane Wiest and John Mahoney) still can’t make this Betty Crocker story ring
true. Who are these people? Where the hell were they exported from, and can
somebody please take them back?

Donning the guise of lonely widower who embarks on an
insipid journey of romantic shenanigans with his brother’s (Dane Cook) special
lady (Juliette Binoche), Steve Carell plays Dan Burns, father to three rather
demanding girls for spawn of a single parent. Famed for his schticky inability
to “get some” and magnificent awkwardness ’round the office, Carell is a
toned-down clone of his previous roles — falling into the Ben Stiller trap, he
hits a character-acting wall, playing variations of either the tensely geeky middle-ager
or the placid average Joe. Both are visible in Dan Burns, king of neutrality, a
guy so repressed he makes Bea Arthur look wild. Even when he manages to sneak
in a Michael Scott quip or two (“Put it on my tab”), it seems more like a
shoutout to “Office” fans than a valid line of dialogue for dull-ass Dan.

There are, however, moments of genuine shock and speckles of
fun. After all, director Peter Hedges is a veteran of troubled family flicks,
helming movies like “Pieces of April” and “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” This
could be why “Dan” feels a lot deeper then it is, gripping its moody and
uncomfortable tone more tighly with each passing scene. Each character’s
palpable discomfort evokes a much gentler “Family Stone,” at times even
suggesting that Sarah Jessica Parker will wasp into the room with her
uncomfortable clam-throat. It’s this gentleness that detracts from the film’s
overall memorability, with most genuine awkwardness replaced by a Debbie-Downer
solemnity.

Predictably, “Dan” doesn’t really explore any new cinematic
territory — given, it was made in the spirit of light entertainment — and ends
up enjoyable for no other reason than its ability to minimize Dane Cook’s
screen time. Sure, everyone knows how it’s going to end: Somehow all these people
will learn some valuable lesson, and blah blah blah — but at least it doesn’t
get all up in our faces with noise-based comedy, a method Cook has more than
mastered. No, that’s a stomach ache for another day.