Bryan Barton-Koala Editor, 2003-04

Brad Kohlenberg-Koala Editor, 2005-07

David Gregory-Koala Editor, 2007-08

Nicholle Pierro-Koala Editor, 2008- 2009

An open letter to the Associated Students Council and the UCSD administration from the Koala Editor Alumni Association (K.E.A.A.):

You are going to lose.

We are going to beat you again.

It is just a matter of how badly we will beat you, and how much time it will take.

You have two options in your attempt to shut us down:

1) You can make the temporary funding freeze permanent.

2) You can attempt to rewrite the funding rules in such a way that will allow the other 32 student media orgs to receive funding and refuse funding to the Koala.

If you choose to go with option one and cut off all funds to all student media orgs, this would be appealed until all on-campus appeals are exhausted. Now, we realize that you will drag your feet on this and try to play games, but eventually, you will have to say that there are no more UCSD appeals. At which point we will go to real court, in the real world, with real laws. In a country where the First Amendment is what our civilization was founded on, and the “principles of community” hold less weight then a marsupial pouch. It will become clear that your intent for cutting funding was because of the content of one org. You’ll probably lose in court, and perhaps get an injunction against you that will forever guarantee Koala funding.

But for the sake of argument, lets say that you win, and manage to cut off all media orgs’ funds. They will all die. Except for one ...

The one that has been around for 28 years. The one that has a self-sustaining sister publication at SDSU. The one with the most dedicated staff. The one with the most committed alumni.

Ironically, your attempt to silence the Koala will destroy every newspaper except the Koala.

[Evil laughter.]

Let’s say you go with option two and, using your bureaucratic wizardry, you manage to write up some rules that include funding for every media org but the Koala. How you will be able to do that, we don’t know. As the only objective difference between the Koala from the other media orgs is that the Koala is twice as popular as the second most popular media org, with a readership of 66 percent of the campus (based on a 2001 A.S. election survey). You may think that the Koala not being able to get a professor to sign on as an adviser would differentiate us ... but you would be wrong.

But for the sake of argument, let’s say that for once, we are not able to beat you at your own game, and we get defunded. This would be appealed until all on-campus appeals are exhausted. Now, we realize that you will drag your feet on this and try to play games, but eventually, you will have to say that there are no more UCSD appeals. At which point we will go to real court, in the real world, with real laws. In a country where the First Amendment is what our civilization was founded on, and the “principles of community” hold less weight then an AIDS patient. In this scenario, you don’t just lose, you get crushed and humiliated by Foundation for Individual Rights and Education, the American Civil Liberties Union, the Student Press Law Center and of course ... us.

You might even have to pay us for the pain and suffering you caused! Wouldn’t that be rich!

[Evil laughter.]

It’s like we are in the TV show “Lost”: We are Jacob, and you are the Man in Black. We are mortal enemies, but always play by certain rules. By cutting our funding, you just broke the rules.

We are currently working on contingent plans that are so out-of-the-box, your conformist minds won’t be able to comprehend them — even as we start to roll them out. We have by no means pulled all the strings in making your lives miserable.

Administration:

How about a Koala feature called “State Assemblyman of the Month”? How would you like to take calls from Sacramento asking why a UCSD newspaper has a picture of the Speaker with a *&^% in his mouth?

Associated Students:

Do you know that you are considered “public figures” on this campus? Do you know what that allows us to do to you? No, you don’t, because us watching you debate First Amendment rights is like Socrates watching a debate on “Jersey Shore.”

We consistently beat you in your games with the rules that you wrote.

You have been trying to shut us down for 28 years and you have failed for 28 years. There is no reason to think it will be any different this year. We are smarter then you. We are slicker then you. We are quicker then you. We are defiantly funnier then you. And believe it or not, a large percentage (if not a majority) of the student population supports us.

Look, you guys are in a lose-LOSE BIG situation here. Just bite the bullet; apologize to us and tell us privately that our funding will be restored after everything blows over. This way, you still lose, but just not as badly.

In light of the day’s teach-ins and last week’s student-media funding freeze, the Week 8 A.S. Council meeting was the most intense of the year so far.

During public input, individuals from both the Black Student Union and media organizations addressed the council in hopes of influencing a future decision on the freeze.

Assistant Vice Chancellor of Students Affairs Gary Ratcliff displayed his contempt for the Koala.

“I’ve seen this for 10 years, where you allow student publications to fund hate,” he said. “Meanwhile, you are watering that weed with $7,000 — let [the Koala] use their own beer money to fund themselves.”

Koala Editor in Chief Kris Gregorian arrived at the meeting wielding $20 in pennies to demonstrate that students are free to ask for reimbursement of their fees that go toward the Koala.

As the council motioned to move to New Business, it voted to maintain the temporary freeze and discuss the topic at the campus media review committee meeting 8 p.m. Thursday.

Next, Student-Run Television co-manager Thomas Dadourian begged the council to reopen the station.

Campuswide Senator Desiree Prevo said the SRTV shutdown paled in comparison to larger issues.

“Your voice may be silenced temporarily, but as a student of color on this campus, my voice is silenced permanently,” she said.

The motion to reinstate SRTV’s charter, with an amendment banning live shows, failed.

AVP of Diversity Affairs Jasmine Phillips spoke to AVP of Academic Affairs and Pi Kappa Alpha member Jordan Taylor regarding the racial incident at their meeting Sunday.

“PIKE is not taking accountability, they just attempt to cover their own asses,” Phillips said. “But they have had a lack of action and a nonchalant attitude.”

Taylor was visibly shaking and upset as he listened to Phillips’ speech.

Last week, councilmembers moved to create a committee to bridge the gap between the Greek community and the Student Affirmative Action Committee, but did not determine how the council would oversee the committee.

This week, council voted to institute Briana Boyd from Counseling and Psychological Services as the committee’s chair.

During member reports, Campuswide Senator Adam Kenworthy announced he would not wear shoes for two weeks to raise money for Partners in Health and Haiti relief.

President Utsav Gupta informed the council that the Graduate Student Association failed the University Centers CPI referendum that the council passed last week.

VP of Finance and Resources Peter Benesch excitedly announced that the Grove Cafe will take dining dollars starting in spring.

And, as always, what would an A.S. meeting be without the repeated issue of council accountability?

After a relatively brief debate, councilmembers voted to impeach Sixth College Senator Kevin Nguyen, who was notably absent.

Big topics were discussed at last night's meeting, though the future the Grove Caffe was a huge source of contention in particular, a question that was not satisfactorily put to rest despite some three hours of discussion.

The council perused through other legislation, including a Resolution Against the Usage of Registration Fees to Offset State Budget Deficiencies, which was passed unanimously after making minor adjustments to its language.

Associate Vice President of Programming Garrett Berg modeled one of the eight attractive Sun God T-shirt designs and told the council that Sun God merchandise would be on sale next Monday. This year's Sun God line includes the aforementioned T-shirts, booty shorts and sustainable water bottles 'mdash; which goes along with the green-oriented Bring Your Own Bottle campaign. '

He added that this year the Programming Office and Alumni Association have teamed up to offer discounted tickets for alumni for the first time: $5 off for general alumni, $10 off for Alumni Association members and $15 off for Lifetime member alumni.

Berg also gleefully announced that Chilean actor and comedian Horatio Sanz would headline the comedy act for the festival.

John Condello, the A.S. representative from the nonaffiliate speech policy committee, gave his two cents on the current draft of the policy, which he regards as extremely restrictive. He expressed his disdain for free speech zones and recommended that the A.S. Council not let the policy pass as it currently stands.

The next two and a half hours or so were spent discussing the fate of the Grove Caffe. Grove manager Thomas Frank actively and passionately inserted himself into the discourse to defend the cafe against the flurry of attacks made against its current financil situation and business model.

John Hughes, the business officer of Student Life, offered some background on the failing enterprise as well as critiques of the council.

'A.S. beats the drum of ownership,' Hughes said. 'One of things in A.S. is that A.S. isn't very good at it. We don't own things very well.'

A travel funding request from the Koala for $400 to attend Second United Comedy Knowledge Organizational Field Forum (S.U.C.K.O.F.F.) was questioned since the event can be found nowhere online.

Vice President of External Affairs Lisa Chen was so infuriated by the discussion that she passionately stomped out of the forum, banging the side door as she exited before quietly returning to her seat 30 seconds later.

Other councilmembers found it silly to scrutinize the funding request when the finance committee had already approved the item, but the decision was nevertheless tabled for a week so that the council can investigate whether or not the event truly exists.

Finally, the council approved language for the Student Organization Funding Advisory Board to finally complete the new student organization funding process.

Campus police detained several members of controversial student humor newspaper the Koala early Monday morning after discovering underage drinking in the publication's Student Center Media Lounge space. The violation of university policy could lead to the organization's suspension from its on-campus location for the second time in two years.

Koala Editor in Chief and Earl Warren College senior Kris Gregorian and three other students were held by officers for individual questioning after loud noises were heard coming from the Media Lounge at approximately 2:20 a.m. on Feb. 23. Police discovered trash bins containing empty beer cans as well as an underage student holding a half-empty beer, and issued three citations for public intoxication, adding that they would notify the appropriate administrative officials about the violation.

Gregorian, who was not issued a citation, denied responsibility for the incident.

'The beers were in the trash when I found them,' he said.

According to UCSD police Sgt. John Smart, the department has been increasing police visibility at night in response to the recent on-campus sexual assault of a female student, which occurred in parking lot 102 during the early evening hours of Feb. 3.

University Centers, the administrative faction responsible for overseeing on-campus space agreements with student organizations, specifically prohibits the presence of alcohol or drugs in student offices.

According to policy guidelines, rule violations result in the loss of an organization's space assignment.

University Centers Director Paul Terzino said in an e-mail that he was made aware of the incident by campus police, but would offer no further comment before reviewing the official incident report, which he said would be released today.

Because of its provocative content, the Koala has had historically rocky relations with the university over its nearly 30 years as a registered student organization. The newspaper was kicked out of its office two years ago after a Student Center employee discovered alcohol and drug paraphernalia. Following a lengthy dispute during which Koala members handcuffed themselves to a couch for nearly a week, the newspaper's office space was reassigned; however, the publication regained a slot in the Media Lounge at the beginning of last academic year.

Warren College freshman Wes Field, one of the students issued a citation, said that if members face eviction, they would continue to produce the Koala on private computers.

'Those computers we use right now are shitty anyway,' he said.

Readers can contact Matthew McArdle at [email protected].

Dear Editor,

Why are private businesses being vilified for not printing material they feel is objectionable? Just because the Koala is exercising its freedom of speech doesn’t mean a specific printer must print it. The Koala can take its business elsewhere if it wants to print material that its current printer finds objectionable.

Regarding the content in question, if you object to wasting money on a statue (which I think is the point of the “protected speech”) you can express it without taking an image out of a pornographic movie. Why does the Koala have to appeal to the lowest common denominator? All I saw was racism, sexism, pornography and general crudity. Are these the things we want to expose ourselves to as people who are trying to better ourselves through higher education?

— Micha Adler
Graduate student, Physics Department

After having their most recent issue rejected by two local printing companies due to objectionable content, satirical campus newspaper the Koala still remains without a permanent printing company, rendering the future of the controversial A.S.-funded organization uncertain.

According to Koala Editor-in-Chief Kris Gregorian, Pomerado Publishing, which has been printing the Koala for over 20 years, refused to print the latest issue unless a particularly offensive graphic was altered or removed.

“[Pomerado Publishing] never actually liked the Koala, but they never really looked over people’s shoulders,” Gregorian said. “Once they did, they started asking us to censor images. They called us last minute and said, ‘We’re not going to print this unless you change these images which I found distasteful.’”

Because of the printing company’s request to alter the paper’s content, Gregorian decided to permanently refuse to print with Pomerado Publishing in the future.

“I find it particularly insidious when private citizens censor news media,” Gregorian said. “You expect it from government or public institutions, but this is more frustrating. What would be the point of printing the Koala if we’re going to bend over to this censorship?”

Pomerado Publishing refused to comment.

The newspaper then turned to VQS Enterprises, a Vista-based printing company that was scheduled to print the Koala’s Nov. 19 issue. However, upon seeing the illustration in question, owner Don McCurdy decided not to go through with printing the issue.

“We don’t try to control in any way, shape or form the editorial content, but if there is graphic content that would embarrass me if my daughter saw, I would not run it,” McCurdy said.

Though McCurdy ultimately agreed to print the issue, he said that this would be the last time.

“If they absolutely needed it I would run the one issue but wouldn’t be interested in going forward with [printing the Koala] in the future,” McCurdy said.

Earl Warren College freshman Wes Field, Koala staff writer and designer of the controversial image that featured two women performing oral sex on the new Triton statue, defended his graphic as being protected under the First Amendment.

“I think this is a blow not just to the Koala but to all the students at UCSD who look forward to our publication every month,” Field said. “I think they should be outraged because this sort of private content filtering might further censor the student body.”

The Koala receives $1,900 each quarter from the A.S. Council. In order to meet contractual production obligations for A.S. funding, the Koala is required to print three issues per quarter, and Gregorian is considering alternative publishing formats and looking for printing companies outside of San Diego to satisfy the terms of the contract.

“Our current plans consist of talking to any other printers or changing our format, possibly moving away from newspaper to some other format, like a comic book,” Gregorian said. “Our most realistic option is to get it printed in L.A. Unfortunately, there will be a premium and we’ll be paying for delivery from L.A., which could be considerable.”

Despite the contract’s stipulations, however, Gregorian said he is hopeful that the A.S. Council will be understanding.

“The production contract is always fluid,” he said. “It’s not because we’re being lazy, but because we’re being faced with severe censorship. We’ve gone through a lot worse; they’ve been really supportive.”

Associate Vice President of Finance Naasir Lakhani said that although all student organizations receiving A.S. funding are expected to live up to their contracts, they take extenuating circumstances into consideration and it is unlikely that the Koala will be denied future funds.

“We do have a contract stating that they must print a certain number of issues, [which is] why we give them a certain amount of money,” Lakhani said. “Things like this have happened in the past and usually we’re not super strict about it if there’s a valid reason or excuse. This could be viewed as a reasonable excuse [if] they still put out an effort to get their newspaper published.”

After having their most recent issue rejected by two local printing companies due to objectionable content, satirical campus newspaper the Koala still remains without a permanent printing company, rendering the future of the controversial A.S.-funded organization uncertain.

According to Koala Editor-in-Chief Kris Gregorian, Pomerado Publishing, which has been printing the Koala for over 20 years, refused to print the latest issue unless a particularly offensive graphic was altered or removed.

'[Pomerado Publishing] never actually liked the Koala, but they never really looked over people's shoulders,' Gregorian said. 'Once they did, they started asking us to censor images. They called us last minute and said, 'We're not going to print this unless you change these images which I found distasteful.''

Because of the printing company's request to alter the paper's content, Gregorian decided to permanently refuse to print with Pomerado Publishing in the future.

'I find it particularly insidious when private citizens censor news media,' Gregorian said. 'You expect it from government or public institutions, but this is more frustrating. What would be the point of printing the Koala if we're going to bend over to this censorship?'

Pomerado Publishing refused to comment.

The newspaper then turned to VQS Enterprises, a Vista-based printing company that was scheduled to print the Koala's Nov. 19 issue. However, upon seeing the illustration in question, owner Don McCurdy decided not to go through with printing the issue.

'We don't try to control in any way, shape or form the editorial content, but if there is graphic content that would embarrass me if my daughter saw, I would not run it,' McCurdy said.

Though McCurdy ultimately agreed to print the issue, he said that this would be the last time.

'If they absolutely needed it I would run the one issue but wouldn't be interested in going forward with [printing the Koala] in the future,' McCurdy said.

Earl Warren College freshman Wes Field, Koala staff writer and designer of the controversial image that featured two women performing oral sex on the new Triton statue, defended his graphic as being protected under the First Amendment.

'I think this is a blow not just to the Koala but to all the students at UCSD who look forward to our publication every month,' Field said. 'I think they should be outraged because this sort of private content filtering might further censor the student body.'

The Koala receives $1,900 each quarter from the A.S. Council. In order to meet contractual production obligations for A.S. funding, the Koala is required to print three issues per quarter, and Gregorian is considering alternative publishing formats and looking for printing companies outside of San Diego to satisfy the terms of the contract.

'Our current plans consist of talking to any other printers or changing our format, possibly moving away from newspaper to some other format, like a comic book,' Gregorian said. 'Our most realistic option is to get it printed in L.A. Unfortunately, there will be a premium and we'll be paying for delivery from L.A., which could be considerable.'

Despite the contract's stipulations, however, Gregorian said he is hopeful that the A.S. Council will be understanding.

'The production contract is always fluid,' he said. 'It's not because we're being lazy, but because we're being faced with severe censorship. We've gone through a lot
worse; they've been really supportive.'

Associate Vice President of Finance Naasir Lakhani said that although all student organizations receiving A.S. funding are expected to live up to their contracts, they take extenuating circumstances into consideration and it is unlikely that the Koala will be denied future funds.

'We do have a contract stating that they must print a certain number of issues, [which is] why we give them a certain amount of money,' Lakhani said. 'Things like this have happened in the past and usually we're not super strict about it if there's a valid reason or excuse. This could be viewed as a reasonable excuse [if] they still put out an effort to get their newspaper published.'

Readers can contact Yelena Akopian at [email protected].

After a moment of silence for Eleanor Roosevelt College Freshman Senator Stephanie Usry, who is recovering in Wyoming after a car accident, the A.S. Council moved to a question-and-answer session with Assistant Vice Chancellor of Student Life Gary R. Ratcliff.

Ratcliff first provided the council with an update on the Student Center and Price Center expansions, informing them that all construction is currently on schedule. He also expressed satisfaction that student services had not been restricted at either location.

'From October and November, we've seen no impact on sales at the food court in light of the construction,' Ratcliff said.

He also reported that following negotiations, Subway and Expresso Roma Cafe have agreed to stay open until 2 a.m. The new hours will be implemented in the coming weeks.

Keeping several eateries open for late-night dining was a recommendation taken from the Undergraduate Student Experience and Satisfaction report.

'We're also working with the Transportation and Parking Services to ascertain student needs for late-night parking,' Ratcliff said.

Earl Warren College Junior Senator Daniel Palay asked for an update on Porter's Pub's expiring lease.

'After the lease expires, Porter's will go to a month-to-month lease,' Ratcliff said.

Ratcliff also mentioned that the University Centers Advisory Board asked Porter's to submit a proposal outlining plans to remodel the space and address some operational issues. If after review the board approves, the lease will be extended another five years.

A.S. President Harry Khanna asked the vice chancellor about the status of the 'Koala situation.'

Ratcliff answered that after two missed opportunities to appeal, the Koala office possessions have been put in storage, the locks changed and the office reassigned to Mock Trial and Intervarsity Christian Fellowship.

After the question-and-answer session concluded, Khanna reported that if the athletic fee referendum passes, only the current fee of $31.08 will be adjusted by the California Price Index for inflation, not the additional fee proposed by the referendum.

Toward the end of the council meeting, Thurgood Marshall College Junior Senator Kyle Samia asked to pull from committee the issue of Mock Trial splitting into three organizations to request more funding, because as distinct entities the organizations are entitled to be funded separately. After several councilmembers objected, the council took a vote, which ended with a tie. A.S. Speaker and Earl Warren College Senior Senator Michelle Yetter broke the tie in favor of the motion.

Thurgood Marshall College Senior Senator Adam Gardner observed an inconsistency in the discussion.

'I don't understand what we're going to vote on,' Gardner said. 'If it passed by consensus in finance and finance makes up half of the council, then isn't it going to pass anyway?'

After several more minutes of discussion to determine a course of action if a similar situation arises, the motion carried to support financing the organizations.

After weeks of dragging out the eviction of controversial satirical campus newspaper the Koala from its Student Center office, administrators finally buckled down over winter break, changing the lock on the office and cleaning it out.

The decision came after members of the Koala did not respond to two different deadlines offered by Assistant Vice Chancellor of Student Life Gary R. Ratcliff developed to allow members to challenge the eviction, which was ordered after illegal drug paraphernalia and alcohol were found in the office by a Student Center employee last June, a violation of university policy.

The first appeal deadline of Nov. 6 was extended to Nov. 21 after Eleanor Roosevelt College senior and Koala Editor in Chief David Gregory asked for clarification regarding the appeal process, according to Ratcliff.

When the Koala did not respond to the second appeal date, administrators decided to follow through with their initial decision to evict the group.

""No evidence was provided to contradict or call into question [the] facility-use policy violation based on the police report that included photos of the bong and alcohol found in the office, the results of the narcotics tests and the statement of the employee who discovered these items,"" Ratcliff stated in an e-mail.

According to Gregory, the Koala did not respond to the deadlines because they were ""artificial and arbitrary"" and gave Ratcliff, rather than a judicial board, sole authority to determine the outcome.

""Why would we follow the deadlines of a process we completely object to?"" Gregory stated in an e-mail. ""It's that simple.""

The University Centers Advisory Board has recommended that the space be shared by two student organizations: Mock Trial at UCSD and the Intervarsity Christian Fellowship.

University policy allows the Koala to apply for office space again next year. Gregory, however, said that members of the Koala were ""not done yet"" and would continue to try to get their Media Lounge office back this year by scheduling a possible hearing through UCAB. He also said that members were considering other plans of action, but declined to elaborate.

Ratcliff, though, indicated that no further appeal opportunities would be offered.

Although administrators submitted two dates for members of controversial satirical student newspaper the Koala to submit appeals countering the publication's eviction from its office in the wake of a June discovery of alcohol and drug paraphernalia, both deadlines have passed with no administrative action, and the paper has kept its office.

Because drug and alcohol possession is against university policy, members were ordered to leave their Media Lounge office space by Oct. 25. However, members protested, accusing the administration of failing to provide adequate time to submit an appeal.

In response, Assistant Vice Chancellor of Student Life Gary R. Ratcliff gave the Koala until Nov. 9 to submit an official written appeal. That appeal, however, was never formulated because members felt, as Eleanor Roosevelt College senior and Koala Editor in Chief David Gregory stated in a letter to Ratcliff, that the deadline was ""artificial and arbitrary.""

""Your office has held evidence against us for over four months - one week is an insufficient time to determine our defense and possible course of action,"" Gregory stated.

In addition, Gregory stated that the administration's appeal option - which would have given Ratcliff the final decision regarding the appeal outcome - gave too much power to one person.

""In this case, the Koala would be denied due process because of its inability to depose witnesses, have a fair and public hearing and have an impartial mediator, arbitrator or student jury,"" Gregory stated.

Ratcliff responded with his own letter, offering the Koala a later deadline, Nov. 21, with a decision on the eviction to be delivered to the Koala by Nov. 27. However, the Koala did not submit an appeal by the second deadline either, and the organization remains in its Student Center office.

""The administration is not handling this situation correctly,"" Gregory stated in an e-mail. ""They're making up bullshit procedure as they go.""

Gregory also accused the administration of being biased against the newspaper because of a historically rocky relationship with the university, including the publication of content that lampooned Ratcliff himself.

Ratcliff, however, stated in an e-mail that the university ""has no bias against the Koala,"" and said its interest in the case is solely keeping campus facilities free of prohibited substances.

In June, a Student Center employee walking by the organization's office noticed the prohibited items in plain sight and notified campus police. The items, which included a bong that contained residue that tested positive for marijuana, have since been disposed of because the incident was not handled as a criminal matter, according to Ratcliff.

Gregory said that the Koala is not worried about losing its office and that members were ""laughing at [the administration's] impotence.""

""Ratcliff's actions show that we're in the right,"" Gregory stated in an e-mail. ""Why else would he be afraid to face us in an appeal process?""

The administration has not offered any additional propositions, according to Gregory.

Readers can contact Matthew McArdle at [email protected].