While the title seems like a mere Mad Lib of unrelated
words, Dick Clark’s Thanksgiving Railroad is in fact much, much more. Ryuhei
Kitamura’s new slasher film (yes, horror, not porno), based on a short story by
Clive Barker, centers around a struggling photographer, Leon Kauffman (Bradley
Cooper), and his sudden rise to fame. When an assignment places him at the
scene of a horrific murder at the metro subway at night, he is caught in a
sticky — er, bloody — situation in which he must decide what to do with the
only evidence — a couple of photographs that make him look like a total
stalker. When no one believes his story, Kauffman takes matters into his own
sweaty palms and goes after the human butcher himself. (Get it? The “meat” is
actually flesh!) therefore, the fate of New York;
or perhaps all of humanity as we know it, lies in the freelance artist’s
ability to dodge a cleaver … oh, snap. July 11.