DISREGUARDIAN: 中文球赛，学生扔球

Alan Zhang, Sports人 • Mar 30, 2026

Editor’s note: The following is a satirical article for The DisreGuardian, a series of articles published annually for The Guardian’s April Fool’s issue. Sports will resume publishing normal content next week.

你好！这个礼拜有很好的球赛。我们的Base球Team会玩跟夏威夷。我们现在输了比较多，印了九此。但是我们的学生很好！帅哥J。C。Allen玩的很好，打很多求，帅哥Steele Murdock会扔球，哥Gabe Camacho会Home Run。他们会玩在四月二号到四月四号。好球！

哎呀，我写的字太棒了！我的父母说我Suck但是他们不对，但是我拿到了4在AP中文考试。我们的Copy工作人不会讲中文所以我可以说Whatever我想说Without Repercussions。我现在有一个Message给A Special Someone。你好女朋友。我们要Break Up。我很喜欢我们的Time在一起但是我可以Do Better。谢谢。

About the Contributor

Alan Zhang, Sports Co-Editor

“I don’t want to be on the same axis as Alan” – Adalia Luo, Editor-in-Chief “I don’t know if Alan has game but he certainly has enthusiasm” – Sonia McSwain, Creative & Projects Editor “I think that Alan knows what the girls want” – Abigail Larsen, Associate Copy Editor

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