The holiday season brings undeniable romantic pressure each winter, raising the stakes for any relationship — new or old. Netflix overflows with cliche Hallmark movies and classic rom-coms, every billboard you drive past claims “Love is in the air,” and going home over winter break means watching “Love, Actually” for the 12th year in a row. Valentine’s Day is when the concept — and expectations — of love is at its peak.
The parade doesn’t end with movies and music — it inadvertently spills into every aspect of a relationship. This seasonal pressure produces expectations of expensive gifts, performative gestures of love, and expensive fine dining. Worst of all, it urges commitment and intimacy before a new love has had time to grow. This emotional burden begs the question: Is love truly in the air, or are we all breathing in an illusion?
When occasions like Valentine’s Day are granted such importance, insufficient efforts by romantic partners can destabilize and compromise a relationship. However, a few days in a year do not represent the success of a relationship, which is why occasions like Valentine’s Day remain an inaccurate measure of commitment. Only constant and authentic effort — rather than ephemeral gestures of affection — can ensure the success of a relationship, but external pressures exalt special occasions to an unrealistically high standard.
Seasonal consumerism loves Valentine’s Day. Unconsciously driven by relentless advertising, couples spend exorbitant amounts of money to prove their love to one another. Pressured by the traditions and expectations of the holidays, love seems to be made of gift lists and flower bouquets. The cost of this phenomenon is not just monetary, but it also risks creating a superficial relationship that survives solely as a result of consumerist illusions, without which it may barely survive the winter cold. Instead of spending money on material items, we should revel in the true joy of such special occasions: time spent with one another. More importantly, subverting consumerist norms strengthens the foundations of a stable relationship that relies on constant effort rather than seasonal intimacy.
Still, special occasions like Valentine’s Day are filled with external scrutiny that inorganically intensifies emotional attachment. According to Psychology Today, couples typically place more importance in relationships during this time in an effort to reaffirm the connection after neglecting one another throughout the rest of the year.
However, it is not just those in relationships who are vulnerable to the illusions of love. The romantic pressure that arises during this time can also manifest as feelings of inadequacy for those without partners. Overwhelmed by idealistic, consumerist depictions of love, a compulsion to mirror those around you and pursue a similarly hollow relationship develops. During occasions like Valentine’s Day, everyone pairs off, and you feel the urgency to follow suit.
Relationships should not be based on materialistic exchanges and seasonal emotional connections. It is essential that we resist seasonal pressures and focus on constant effort, care, and commitment. Valentine’s Day is not the time for added pressure, but rather a welcome reward to spend time with loved ones and delight in the comfort of a consistent and sincere relationship.
