Blame it on me being an overly sentimental Pisces, but I love a good romantic comedy — especially those beloved films that practically defined the early 2000s. Unfortunately, rom-coms are the movie genre that everyone loves to criticize: too cheesy, too predictable, or too unrealistic. But beneath the typical airport cliche — someone running through security to stop their lover from leaving forever — rom-coms actually have much more to offer than a last-minute kiss.
As a sucker for love triangles and the classic enemies-to-lovers trope, I’m here to offer my two cents. What can we learn from the rom-coms we love most? From lessons on love to reminders about self-worth, these movies offer us essential life lessons that are too often overlooked.
Don’t let stereotypes win: ‘Legally Blonde’ (2001)
The most important lesson in “Legally Blonde” is simple but powerful. Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) is a reminder that you must be confident in who you are: Don’t let society’s stereotypes get in the way of doing what you love. Just like Elle, you can love pink, care deeply about appearances, and still be the most capable in the room. You don’t have to “look” the part to be successful.
In “Legally Blonde,” Elle faces a major self-worth crisis when her boyfriend Warner breaks up with her. He plans to go to law school and tells her he needs someone “serious.” Elle makes it her personal mission to win him back. How? By applying to Harvard Law. Spoiler alert: She gets in. In the iconic words of Elle, “What? Like it’s hard?”
Elle’s success surprises everyone, and that’s exactly what makes her story so inspiring. Beneath her hot pink outfits and chipper persona lies a sharp mind full of resilience and determination. When she earns a spot working a top case, she seizes her opportunity to bring her knowledge to the table. She flawlessly cracks the case with her expertise in haircare — who knew knowledge in perm maintenance could come so in handy?
Elle’s path was anything but smooth. From day one, she knew she would have to work twice as hard just to be seen as half as capable, but she did it anyway. From wanting to impress an immature boy to finding her true passion, Elle succeeds on her own terms. Take Elle’s boldness and channel it in your own life: wear the showstopping outfit to your dull 9 a.m. computer science discussion, raise your hand before the teacher’s pet beats you to it, and take up space even when the room isn’t expecting you to.
You are exactly where you’re meant to be: ‘13 Going on 30’ (2004)
I think it’s a universal childhood experience to believe that adulthood will suddenly reveal all the answers and flush away your awkward teenage chaos. In “13 Going on 30,” Jenna Rink (Jennifer Garner) wishes for just that. In her words, she wishes to be “thirty and flirty and thriving.” Plot twist: The universe takes her very seriously. Jenna’s travel from 13 to 30 brings me to our next lesson: You are exactly where you’re meant to be.
Living alone in a chic New York City apartment that boasts a walk-in closet filled with endless pairs of shoes, grown-up Jenna holds an envious career as a magazine editor. For any 13-year-old, this sounds like the ultimate dream, but for Jenna, it’s quite the opposite. She realizes she’s traded her childhood for a superficial life. She’s lost touch with her parents and hasn’t spoken to her childhood best friend in years. Jenna’s living her dream but has never felt more alone. The realization hits: She’d rather live a slow, meaningful present than a dull and rushed future.
Like Jenna, I think we’re all guilty of being fixated on what’s to come. But let me be the one to tell you that you’re not behind — just take a deep breath and live in the moment. Who cares if you don’t know what’s next? Who cares if law school no longer feels like the plan, or if the medical school grind suddenly sounds like your personal nightmare? Go on that spontaneous date that could go sideways, spend the sunny day at the beach, and plan that summer road trip with your besties. Make memories and be fully present — why the rush?
Love should never keep you guessing: ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ (2009)
If you’ve ever found yourself making elaborate excuses for someone you really wanted things to work out with, Gigi Phillips (Ginnifer Goodwin) is right there with you. Devoted to finding “the one,” Gigi quickly learns that the reality of love is far different than what she anticipated. Her failed romantic excursions shine light on our last lesson: Love should never keep you guessing.
Gigi represents the inner thoughts of anyone who’s ever gotten one flirty text and started planning their wedding. After a series of questionable dates, she meets Alex, and he immediately bursts her bubble. He spends most of the movie dragging her back to earth after each romantic failure, letting her in on what actually goes on in the twisted minds of men. He gives her brutally honest advice, telling her that she’s the “rule,” not the “exception,” when it comes to relationships.
The rule is simple: If they’re not making an effort, they’re just not that into you. The way someone treats you usually isn’t a case of mixed signals — it’s exactly what it appears to be. That said, there’s also the rare exception: that once-in-a-lifetime occurrence that changes everything.
Like Gigi, I think we’re all guilty of being hopeless romantics with a hint of delusion. Whether it’s trying to understand your crush’s subtle lean in or deciphering that 2 a.m. text, love seems so complicated. Failed talking stage? Confusing situationship? Classic Instagram ghosting? I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that’s not love. I can’t promise romance this Valentine’s Day but I can promise this: When love is real, you’ll never be left guessing.
If you see yourself in Elle, Jenna, or Gigi, congrats! You’ve officially joined the rom-com club! And if not, here’s the best part: There’s a trillion other movies waiting to be watched. Dust off your mom’s old DVDs and cue the emotional rollercoaster! If there’s one thing that will never let you down, it’s that one movie you rewatch over and over again that fuels your Friday night as the ultimate couch potato, digging into your delicious pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream.
