Together, we will do quite literally anything — from cooking lavish meals at 1 a.m. to watching all 45 parts of “Claimed by My Ex’s Alpha Brother” on Dailymotion — except study. You may be asking yourself, “What advice could two humanities majors who hate homework possibly have?” Well, when we’re actually studying, we’re cultivating an environment more enticing than midnight filet mignon and sexy werewolves in order to get over the procrastination hump. On UC San Diego’s campus, ocean views and study lounges galore, it’s really a skill issue if your main study location is a twin XL. You deserve better. That’s why we’ve devised this super fun questionnaire, so you can become the academic weapon you’ve always dreamed of being.

1. Which study snack piques your interest the most?
   1. Vegan pumpkin spice concha 
   2. Study snacks only slow me down 
   3. Burger King chicken fries 
   4. Granola bar and Welch’s Fruit Snacks 
   5. Strawberry matcha ice cream  
2. Which Spotify “daylist” title suits you the best?
   1. power ballad chai latte tuesday afternoon 
   2. library dream monday morning
   3. funny disc golf saturday evening 
   4. dub techno glitchy thursday morning
   5. east coast hip hop golden age saturday afternoon
3. What’s the biggest problem you face when trying to lock in?
   1. Lacking an aesthetic setup
   2. People chewing loudly 
   3. Your stomach grumbling 
   4. Class content being too boring 
   5. FOMO of hometown friends free of the quarter system’s shackles 
4. What’s your ideal level of background noise for studying?
   1. Soft jazz
   2. Dead silence 
   3. Ambient chatter
   4. House music or indie hits 
   5. The sweet sounds of nature 
5. Time for a study break! Pick your poison:
   1. Watching an episode of “Friends” and playing board games 
   2. Checking LinkedIn — the dopamine rush from a connection keeps you going  
   3. Browsing a market for study snacks — which turns into a study three-course meal 
   4. Listening to a motivational playlist 
   5. Getting ice cream with friends
6. What level of desperation are you at for a passing grade?
   1. About to contact an Etsy witch for help 
   2. Five Red Bulls should be enough to get me through 
   3. Looking into alternative career paths 
   4. Working on an “I’m going to be a DJ” speech for my mom
   5. Researching just how much one can make from posting TikTok shop ads
7. How are you planning to celebrate finals being over?
   1. Going to an open mic with friends
   2. Eye mask, white noise machine, and eight uninterrupted hours of sleep 
   3. Going to a nice dinner 
   4. Cozying up with a good book and some music 
   5. Soaking in some sun on a hike 

Results

Mostly As: Middle Of Muir Cafe — the perfect space for creative souls who need good snacks, good vibes, and good company to hit their studying flow state. This coffee and snack shop in the heart of John Muir College is complete with a playlist of all your favorite indie bangers — think, T.V. Girl, Hozier, and boygenius — caffeine galore, and all of the freshly-made pastries your heart could desire (We recommend the vegan vanilla bean concha). For a study break, check out its eclectic collection of board games, like Spongebob Connect Four, and prepare to run into everyone and their mothers — it’s a popular spot for a reason! 

Mostly Bs: Geisel Library’s eighth floor — the sacred realm for students that are so locked in they might transcend into the flow state described in legend (TikTok). Perched high above the noisy commotion of Library Walk, this ultraquiet hideaway is perfect for those who know exactly what they need: no noise, talking, or distractions, just the ambiance of frantic typing, turning pages, and the occasional existential sigh. Fitted with floor-to-ceiling windows that flood the space with sunlight and all the outlets and WiFi anyone could ever want, Geisel Library’s eighth floor is perfect for do-or-die cramming, getting your life together, or pretending to work until the occasional fire alarm goes off and prompts a convenient study break! Even if you aren’t locked in, the intensity with which everyone else is studying will scare you off watching Instagram Reels on your phone and into watching them on your laptop. One step closer to opening Canvas!

Mostly Cs: Price Center — the bustling heart of campus where the pain of studying is remedied by the flavors that surround it. Grab a table or even a private study room with your friends, spread out your laptops, notebooks, and most importantly, food! Go on a mouth-watering study crawl through the islands of Greece (Santorini Island Grill), help yourself to some classic Americana (Burger King), or gear yourself up with four courses worth of snacks from Sunshine Market! After you put in a hard day’s work, reward yourself with Yogurt World and add a topping for every new thing you learned — you deserve it!

Mostly Ds: Student Center Courtyard — the underrated social hotspot where studying feels less like a chore and more like a scene from an indie movie. The courtyard hums with a comforting ambiance from the KSDT Radio shows, and outdoor seating offers the perfect place to lock in to some music. ​​Need a snack break? The General Store Co-op has every snack imaginable and school supplies at low prices. Groundwork Books adds a cozy, warm touch — perfect for a little wander or rest when your brain needs a reset. You can even find our very own Guardian newsstands and catch up on some current events while the Deejays and Vinylphiles Club practices, letting you pretend you’re at the rave you’re missing because of finals.

Mostly Es: Sun God Lawn and Westfield UTC — the best spots for those whose social batteries are intertwined with their work batteries, or are just looking to make studying a fun outing! Sun God Lawn is the perfect infusion of working hard and playing hard. Spread blankets out, toss snacks in the middle, set your laptops to 2% brightness, and turn on a speaker. Throw a frisbee in the mix, and you might just find yourself on the cover of a UCSD Admissions Instagram post. After you start sunburning, UTC is the perfect next stop — literally only two trolley stops away — to grab a table with your friends and rotate work between boba runs, window shopping, and getting lost in the Lego Store bins. The studying gets done, but the real highlight is the quality time spent with friends before break, powered by comfy seating, people-watching, and endless food options. This mini study crawl is perfect for people who believe school is easier and more fun when you’re surrounded by the people you love — the classic college experience of doing work while making lifetime memories!

We hope this quiz pointed you in the direction of your flow state. Grab your energy drink of choice, gather your most studious friends, and head out into the wilderness of UCSD — just beware of the alphas (the campus coyotes) and Alphas (getting distracted and watching an hour of “Claimed by My Ex’s Alpha Brother”).