From “Twilight” to “Percy Jackson,” super-human-teen flicks are about as bankable a trend as any in Hollywood. The latest of the heap, “I Am Number Four,” dredges its way into the genre with more blemish-free teenagers and watered-down sci-fi.
With “Eagle Eye” and “Disturbia” director D.J. Caruso at the helm, one would at least expect plenty of action. But
“Number Four” manages to disappoint even in that regard.
The movie follows a race of aliens that sends their magically powered progeny to Earth after their home planet is destroyed by the big bad guys of the universe, named the Mogadorians, or “Mogs.” Each super-teen is named by a number, and for some inexplicable reason, the Mogs are hunting them down in sequential order.
Blond Abercrombie Adonis Number Four — under the typical pseudonym John Smith (Alex Pettyfer) — escapes to sleepy Paradise, Ohio, where he attempts to hide as a normal teen. Predictably, John falls for the pretty girl, Sarah (“Glee”’s Dianna Agron), though their chemistry is stale and orchestrated. Pettyfer lacks any sort of conviction when it comes to his supposedly deep feelings for his love interest, while Agron’s unaffecting performance comes off like she was on anti-anxiety meds for all of filming.
The few moments of fun come from John’s friend Sam (Callan McAuliffe). The requisite geek of the bunch, Sam is constantly badgered by the in-crowd for believing in aliens, yet he still manages a few snarky one-liners in between taunts.
Surprise, surprise: The Mogs inevitably hunt John down, culminating in the battle we’ve all been waiting for. Unfortunately, these scenes are unsatisfying at best, as the supposedly badass Mogs barely manage to put up a fight. Think skin- heads with facial tattoos and cartoonish monster pets fighting humans, and you’ll understand why the battle is more laughable than terrifying.
Just when you think you’re in for a tidy resolution, it becomes clear that we’re being primed for a sequel and a full franchise — but with a first installment this uninspiring, we can only hope the future of the Mogs and their cool-kid adversaries is left open-ended for good. (D-)
