Smacked with an eye-catching XXXX logo — that’s right, four
Xs — and located conveniently off Route 52, Adult Emporium II offers the most
extensive array of grown-up entertainment you could ever want or imagine.

Simply put, this 24-hour sex shop makes traditional XXX
adult stores look like child’s play. And until we decriminalize it, child’s
play may be the only thing the store lacks; browsing aisles upon aisles of
pornographic DVDs, you will find an impressive selection capable of making even
the most seasoned adult-store veteran pause for a second take.

From the usual gay porn, straight porn and obligatory midget
porn to “Chicks With Dicks,” “Large and Lovely” and “Cumfart” (not even
joking), the emporium leaves nothing to the imagination. Why ever imagine sex,
especially when 50,000 titles are displayed right in front of you?

If you need help browsing the massive selection for that
hard-to-find fetish flick or obscure dildo length, don’t be afraid to ask. And
there’s a store bonus: this shop offers 160-channel, air-conditioned private
minitheaters if roommates are occupying your whack-off space.

Even if videos aren’t your thing, the store features an
extensive toy and accessory area complete with the fattest and longest dildos —
and fists — you’ll probably ever see. Along with a variety of flavored
lubricants comes a multicultural seletion of blow-up dolls (some molded from on
actual porn stars!) Also available are penis pumps and those inflatable
bounce-balls normally used for exercise — except now equipped with a rideable
appendage.

Even if you don’t buy anything, a visit to Adult
Emporium II is well worth it. Something
you never even thought existed might catch your eye. And at the very least, the
store offers great gag gifts.

Runner up: Dr. Love’s