A Scanner Darkly
In any Keanu Reeves film you are privy to three looks: bored, confused and a nice, ambiguous grin. In “A Scanner Darkly,” director Richard Linklater takes on the impossible task of rotoscoping each of these facial expressions. Seems hard, right? Well, thank goodness Linklater is on board, because one must have incredible talent to animate Reeves’ blank stares.
Adapting Philip K. Dick’s acclaimed futuristic novel “A Scanner Darkly” to the big screen, Linklater is sure to do some trippy things with the cool “Waking Life”-style animation. Anyone interested in another drug movie, though, will have to venture elsewhere. Linklater is known for his philosophy-infused filmmaking, and this one seems like it will be another dark meandering into the soul. A drug-induced hallucination never seemed so nice.
“A Scanner Darkly” opens July 7.
— Adam Keleman
Staff Writer
Superman Returns
Say what you will about the Man of Steel. Yes, he’s a Boy Scout’s wet dream. True, his excessiveness is matched only by his super speed. And, of course, there’s just something vaguely homoerotic about that underwear-over-the-tights get-up. Yet Superman remains, and let’s face it, he’s still entertaining to watch.
“Superman Returns” marks the hero’s first on-screen appearance in almost 20 years, the last time being in the super-sucky “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” — a piece of shit.
With “X-Men” director Bryan Singer at the helm, the latest Superman installment finds Big Blue — eerie Chris Reeve reincarnate Brandon Routh — attempting to thwart the evil plan of villain Lex Luthor, a story that’s never been done before. Ever. Throw in a love side story, some incredible special effects and a budget upwards of $200 million, and you’ve got yourself one hell of a summer blockbuster. How much you wanna bet Superman wins?
“Superman Returns” flies into theaters June 28, also in IMAX-3D.
— Grant Schrader
Senior Staff Writer
Pirates ofthe Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Disney got the story wrong with its sequel to “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Black Pearl,” this time subtitled “Dead Man’s Chest.” The original “Dead Man’s Chest” sea shanty that Robert Louis Stevenson committed to bedtime stories the world over with “Treasure Island” has no slimy, rotting, snake-faced ghost pirates, as depicted in the film’s preview. It has no dragons either. And the chest it speaks of isn’t an actual chest, it’s a small island in the Caribbean Sea that, according to the shanty and its related legend, a crew of mutinous pirates was marooned on to either get drunk and kill each other (each was given a bottle of rum and a cutlass) or starve. Kill each other they did, leaving only “Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest/ Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum/ Drink and the devil had done for the rest.” Not exactly the dignified, Disney-fied “Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me,” wouldn’t you agree? The film should still please, though. Less macabre is sometimes good (“The Little Mermaid” would have ended in sea foam had the sticklers had their way), and pirates are a pretty dependable fuel for the imagination. More importantly, Johhny Depp’s swagger and lilt as the endearing Jack Sparrow will certainly provide a spark.
“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” opens July 7.
— Jessie Godfrey
Staff Writer
Strangers with Candy
It’s about time we went back to Flatpoint High to make up for dropping out back in 2000, when Comedy Central’s “Strangers With Candy” finished its 30-episode run. The show, a satire based on the oft-forgotten genre of poorly acted after-school specials, featured the hilarious anti-hero Jerri Blank, returning to high school after a 30-year bout with drugs, prostitution and prison. Played by an uglied-up Amy Sedaris, Blank spent every episode trying to become popular, and eventually learning a healthy moral about her quest. That is, morals like: “When life is painful enough, it’s better to be a drunk all the time.” With heaps of advice from teachers/lovers Mr. Jellineck (Paul Dinello) and Mr. Noblet (Stephen Colbert, back in his days of relative obscurity) about how to throw up to look beautiful, Jerri makes her way up the social ladder, with lots of lesbianism and pestering of the neighborhood meatman along the way. Written and created by the three actors, the show spawned such a cult audience that even David Letterman — who has a visibly huge crush on Sedaris — took interest in reviving the show. That revival is in prequel form, covering Blank’s transition from turning tricks to prison to high school, a career arc that cannot disappoint. In case the show is unknown to anyone, all 30 episodes are collected on DVD, and make for a holy grail to anyone with a quirky sense of humor, or a hard-on for Colbert. I’ll let you decide which one you are.
“Strangers With Candy” opens June 28.
— Cody B. Nabours
Hiatus Editor
Lady in the Water
Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) is a lucky man — not every balding, chinless dumpling finds a naked mystery babe swimming in his pool at night, especially one too otherworldly to realize what a lowlife he is and ready to submit herself to his common-man heroism. The “Lady in the Water” comes to Giamatti’s character (superintendent of the pool’s surrounding apartment complex) in a steamy-wet state of panic, stuck between the bedtime story from which she materialized and the increasingly strange world above the chlorine screen.
Director and screenwriter M. Night Shyamalan originally told the story to his kids before bed (hopefully the same cannot be said for former projects “Sixth Sense” and “The Village”), but has no doubt elaborated on the children’s version. Evil wolf-beasts and wise, spiritually aware birds of prey serve as Heep’s key antagonists as they try to prevent his lady from her homecoming, providing opportunity for sweet underground drain-tunnel footage and calls of the wild.
If you hadn’t guessed, Heep falls for the dripping, dumbstruck lovely, and much supernatural drama ensues. Giamatti finally gets to kick his insecure “Sideways” loser to the curb, instead diving heroically headfirst into Shyamalan’s dark magic with speechless nude in tow.
“Lady in the Water” opens July 21.
— Simone Wilson
Senior Staff Writer
The Devil Wears Prada
The Devil Wears Prada” is a chic-lit novel with a backstory more interesting than the book itself. The piece of fluff was penned by Lauren Weisberger, former assistant to the notoriously bitchy editor in chief of Vogue magazine, Anna Wintour (aka Nuclear Wintour.) Not surprisingly, Wiesberger’s book chronicles the travails of helpless fashion assistant Andrea Sachs, who has to kow-tow to the ridiculous demands of her boss, Miranda Priestly — the notoriously bitchy editor in chief of Runway magazine.
A book this creative was bound to be adapted into a major motion picture, but what actress has the gravitas to play Wintour — I mean Priestly? None other than dialect queen and Oscar favorite Meryl Streep. Whether or not Streep will hideously overact in this villainous performance as she did in “The Manchurian Candidate” remains to be seen, but the actress did slim down to play the cruel fashionista. A mousy Anne Hathaway, whose weak on-screen presence was never more prevalent than in “Brokeback Mountain,” will play Weisberger — I mean Sachs. Essentially, perfect casting for a chic-lit flick.
“The Devil Wears Prada” opens June 30.
— Christine Clark
Associate Hiatus Editor
Idlewild
Even if you don’t particularly enjoy André 3000 and Big Boi’s uppity hip-hop, you can’t deny their unfailing ability to entertain. Some of MTV’s finest moments have been had during Outkast videos: the hook-howling animals of “Ms. Jackson,” psychadelic politics of “Bombs Over Baghdad” and high-school musical bop of “Roses” are enough to kick your ass off the couch to bust some moves of your own. The only thing left on the pair’s agenda is Hollywood — and they’re gonna do it big.
With “Idlewild,” Outkast keep the entertainment on high, and in the meantime discover one more way to show love for big-booty broads: by swingin’ them ’round a 1930s speakeasy bursting with horn and piano funk. Choreography (plus lots of bare skin) should be a high point, and the tacky plotline only a side note to feel-good high kicks and bouncy beats. Terrence Howard, Patti LaBelle, Macy Gray and more join in for what’s sure to be a sweaty good time.
“Idlewild” opens August 25.
— Simone Wilson
Senior Staff Writer
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
At first glance, it seems like a worthwhile concept: Everyman Matt (Luke Wilson, the go-to for regular error-prone guys) ditches his needy girlfriend Jenny (Uma Thurman) for a co-worker (“Scary Movie” girl Anna Faris), only to discover that Jenny is, in fact, a superhero, and she’s out to avenge her broken heart. The cast is not too shabby: Thurman as a kooky, ass-kicking, pissed-off bitch with an axe to grind (aka “Kill Bill”), the infallible executive transvestite Eddie Izzard as a professor (“Cake or Death,” anyone?) and “Office” funnyman Rainn Wilson as Matt’s sidekick best friend. Even director Ivan Reitman is a comedy veteran whose credits include “Meatballs,” “Stripes” and “Ghostbusters.” But the current trailer for Reitman’s endeavor contains awkward and uninspired scenes, none of which elicit the least amount of laughter. Perhaps that’s not the best thing for a film marketing itself as a romantic comedy. It is possible that the cast will pull through, though — Wilson manages to be subtly hilarious in “The Royal Tenenbaums,” and Thurman has had some well-timed comedic moments in under-the-radar “Prime.” However, unless the missing humor-inducing scenes are injected back into the preview, word-of-mouth is the best way to decide to go see this one.
“My Super Ex-Girlfriend” opens July 7.
— Ania Dylewska
Senior Staff Writer
The Lake House
Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves are back as lovebirds with a big problem. But forget speeding buses and free-falling elevators — “The Lake House” is the antidote to their adrenaline-rush youth, blowing all past trifles out of the water. Ready?
It is, as Bullock’s character puts it to a girlfriend, a “long-distance relationship.” She lives in a lake house in 2006. He lived in the same house in 2004. And yet, in a spatio-temporal fluke that can surely be brushed aside by breathless evocations of the timelessness of love, they’re exchanging letters through their mailbox. And sharing a dog. (Now that is one creepy pup.)
Two years? Time travel isn’t what it used to be. Hollywood’s running out of foreign horror flicks to plunder, sapping up the premise of Korean film “Il Mare” into this pretty proposition. Brace for a lot of longing stares into the watery sunset, since most of the film’s thrills shall come from sexually frustrated characters anxiously running out to the mailbox or hunched over their communal desk, reading/writing poignant words in heartfelt voiceovers, if not straight-out talking to themselves — what a litmus test of acting chops. If anyone can do it, it’s totally going to be the armed and fabulous Ms. Congeniality, accompanied by the Chosen One and the only king of monotone. No doubt.
“The Lake House” opens June 16.
— Gaëlle Faure
Associate Hiatus Editor
Snakes on a Plane
Snakes on a Plane,” starring Samuel L. Jackson. What else do you really need to know? Jackson signed onto the project without even reading the script; the title was enough for him. However, there is much more to the movie than its title and badass motherfucker of a star. “Snakes on a Plane” has the potential to change the way movies are shot and marketed, after an Internet frenzy over the movie prompted New Line Cinema to reopen filming in order to include scenes and even lines (“I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!”) suggested by laymen in chat rooms. These changes resulted in an R rating instead of the originally intended PG-13, but Internet interest only increased. “Snakes” filmmakers have capitalized on this fascination by offering a contest in which anyone can submit a song inspired by the title to be played during the closing credits.
The entire movie takes place on a flight over the Pacific Ocean, where an assassin, hired to kill a witness in protective custody, releases a bag full of deadly snakes. If it sounds ridiculous, that’s because it’s supposed to; at least it’s a truly original film at a time when remakes and sequels are the norm.
“Snakes on a Plane” opens August 18.
— Adam Staley
Senior Staff Writer
Russian Dolls
Growing pains never pass. “L’Auberge Espagnole” seemed to leave Xavier, our ever-so-French and moody leading man, all grown up — a year of Barcelona study-abroad mayhem with European Union poster-children roommates inspired him to throw his tie out the window and pursue dreams of authorship. their early twenties Europe-is-your-oyster manifesto is abandoned by the start of “Les Poupées Russes” (the Russian Dolls), when the cynicism of near-middle age starts to settle in. Xavier’s book apparently didn’t turn into a bestseller, so he had to sell his soul after all, part-timing as a disposable reporter and writing grating soap opera scripts to make ends meet. Life isn’t too grim, though, as he’s still falling for gorgeous women left and right — Audrey Tatou’s character is now just a friend, but he gets to ghostwrite for an ethereal model while British betty Wendy reappears all sexed up.
Still, the sweet siesta days are over, and lives get loads more complex. The film tracks Xavier and some of his old pals between Paris, London and St. Petersburg, where they reunite for the wedding of Wendy’s brother (the once-naïve soccer hooligan). The sweetness is retained, but with a pinch of “Unbearable Lightness of Being” bitterness. Neophytes best catch up on volume one to follow the second film’s fast-paced meanderings, but “L’Auberge” fans will be grateful to find that there’s plenty of material left for a third chapter — “Europe’s Spawn: Midlife Crisis.”
Release date TBA.
— Gaëlle Faure
Associate Hiatus Editor
Nacho Libre
So maybe I’m one of those humor elitists, the ones that like to shit on stuff most people find funny. All I know is that “Napoleon Dynamite” played more like a boringly realistic documentary to someone with a tooth for humorifics like myself, and “Nacho Libre” looks no different — except this time it’s like my autobiography.
That is, friar/chef Ignacio (Jack Black) must save his local orphanage in Mexico through moonlighting as a luchador, or professional wrestler. In the meantime, can he also put salads on the tables of poor children looking only for a bit of roughage? Can he use his newfound self-respect to learn a greater lesson in life? Can he win the heart of beautiful Sister Encarnación? I swear, it’s like Jared (also director) and Jerusha Hess, the Mormon writers of “Dynamite,” and Mike White, the bisexual writer of “The Good Girl” and “School of Rock,” only decided to team up after finding the memoir I was working on. Hopefully, this supergroup of “oddball” comedian-types will produce something funnier than simply throwing an angry beehive at an unsuspecting foreigner, or else I’ll be forced to watch the preview one more time, at least until that “Simpsons” episode — you know, the one they stole that joke from — comes on again.
“Nacho Libre” opens June 16.
— Cody B. Nabours
Hiatus Editor
Clerks 2
People should usually stick to their word, but it’s hard to be mad at Kevin Smith for breaking his promise and making another View Askew film (those are the ones with Jay and Silent Bob, for you non-Smith-fanatics). After all, “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” wasn’t exactly the culmination we might have hoped for. So we’ll let him slide and make “Clerks 2” instead of banishing him to a land of regret and “Jersey Girl” sequels.
“Clerks” may not have been as funny as “Mallrats,” as clever as “Dogma” or as smart as “Chasing Amy,” but Kevin Smith fans have a soft spot for the film anyway. We were able to look past the terrible acting and identify with the characters in one of the first films to capture the slacker generation in its true uncensored stoner glory.
“Clerks 2” follows Dante and Randall (Brian O’Halloran and Jeff Anderson, who hopefully spent the last 12 years in acting class) as they land jobs at burger joint Mooby’s, of “Dogma”-massacre fame. They pretty much do the same stuff that you did if you’ve ever worked in fast food. Look out for Rosario Dawson, Jason Lee, Ben Affleck and Wanda Sykes, plus a donkey-show scene that promises to one-up the bathroom necrophilia of the original.
“Clerks 2” opens July 21.
— Riley Salant-Pearce
Senior Staff Writer
The King
Gael Garcia Bernal hasn’t taken a bad role yet, and don’t expect that to change with his first American film, “The King.” Bernal plays Elvis Valderez, a fresh-off-the-Navy-boat 21-year-old who treks into Texas to find his only remaining family. The father he never met (William Hurt) is a reformed pastor who wants nothing to do with him, but Valderez manages to penetrate the family through his 16-year-old half-sister Malerie (Pell James).
Don’t expect your typical homecoming film; first-time director James Marsh and “Monster’s Ball” writer Milo Addica team up to create a dark thriller that skewers Christian notions of sin and repentance. The fascinating and highly disturbing backbone of the film is the relationship between Valderez and Malerie; scenes between the two will make your skin crawl.
Hurt and James are fantastic in the film, but once again Bernal steals the show with some of the most subtle acting of his career as a man willing to do anything just to feel loved.
“The King” opens June 16.
— Riley Salant-Pearce
Senior Staff Writer
How to Eat Fried Worms
It’s hard to turn away from a person eating a facefull of nasty food — something the average diner would choke on. My dad once paid my little brother $10 to swallow a roly-poly, alive, and even though I generally denounce eating meat, I still helped them find the poor bug just for what was bound to be a good show. Sick. That’s pretty much the plotline of “How to Eat Fried Worms,” a film based on the children’s book of the same name. Different victims, though — worms, obviously, 10 of them. And the wager isn’t for money, it’s acceptance at a new school. Newbie Luke Benward leads a cast of young actors as the unlucky butt of the challenge.
“How to Eat Fried Worms” opens August 25.
— Jessie Godfrey
Staff Writer
Miami Vice
“Miami Vice” was one of the first TV shows to make cops look glamorous, and this summer’s film adaptation of the definitive 1980s series should do the same. The original show featured two dapper detectives, Sonny Crocket (a once-cool Don Johnson) and Rico Tubbs (Michael Thompson), both of whom never made bustin’ a perp look so chic. “Miami Vice” was a detective series, but the storylines were always overshadowed by the lavish men’s fashion: Crocket’s and Tubb’s wardrobes consisted of white jackets, pastel shirts and penny loafers — sans socks.
However, “Miami Vice” the film (directed by Michael Mann, who produced the series) promises to bring a darker, grittier version to the big screen. Don’t expect to see any pastel suits in this film — the wardrobe is restricted to earth tones only. And a mustachioed Colin Farrell takes over the role of Crocket, a sharp contrast to Johnson’s clean-shaven version.
Since “Miami Vice” came to end in the mid ’80s, Mann has directed several sleek cop dramas such as “Manhunter,” “Heat” and “Collateral.” He has yet to make a disappointing movie, but Mann unwisely cast two overexposed actors to headline the film. In addition to Farrell, Jamie Foxx co-stars as Tubbs. Both actors may lack substance, but then again, “Miami Vice” has always been about style.
“Miami Vice” opens July 28.
— Christine Clark
Associate Hiatus Editor
A Prairie Home Companion
For anyone interested in “Ocean’s Thirteen,” you’ll have to wait another year or so for that celebrity sponge bath — meanwhile, we get “A Prairie Home Companion.” Maverick director Robert Altman has assembled a cast for the ages — and all ages: Meryl Streep is offered for the Baby Boomers and Lindsay Lohan for, well, anyone else who doesn’t give a damn. Altman is known for his ability to create communities within a film, and Garrison Keillor’s cult radio show “A Prairie Home Companion” seems like a snug fit.
Music is the focus of this adaptation of Keillor’s quintessential variety show — even Lohan lets her tween, I mean adult, pipes loose — so Keillor fans may not get everything they pay for here. Worn-out rag doll Meryl Streep may upstage this one; however, look out for Lily Tomlin’s classy moves to add something a little saucier to the mix. Come for Altman’s patented roaming camera and humor — and check out of the theater if Streep is just that grating.
“A Prairie Home Companion” opens June 9.
— Adam Keleman
Staff Writer
Romance and Cigarettes
Supposedly, good things come to those who wait. Hopefully, that will be the case for audiences when “Romance and Cigarettes,” the long-delayed musical, written and directed by John Turturro, hits the cineplexes this summer. The film’s release date was held back almost an entire year (usually not a good sign); however, “Romance and Cigarettes” looks like an original comedy with something for everyone: song, dance, sex and Scottish accents!
In the film, James Gandolfini plays Tony Murdur (cheeky name), a blue-collar New Yorker who romances a saucy Scottish femme fatale, Tula (Kate Winslet), who talks downright dirty in the previews. However, Murdur is a married man, and unfortunately this film explores old territory when Murdur must choose between Tula and his age-appropriate wife (a typecast Susan Sarandon).
Yet the vaudeville musical still looks promising — it was produced by the Cohen brothers and the ensemble cast includes Christopher Walken and Eddie Izzard. Plus, the soundtrack features Bruce Springsteen, Nick Cave and James Brown. It looks like “Romance and Cigarettes” could be worth the wait, after all.
Release date TBA.
— Christine Clark
Associate Hiatus Editor
