Death Scene We Wish Were Real: House of Wax
March 2, 2006
There are only two things that Paris Hilton is good for on screen, and acting isn’t one of them. The first is explicit, candid sex — the gripping subject of “1 Night in Paris,” a worthy treat for those interested in watching skinny, trampy celebrity blondes getting it on (come on, there’s no shame in that). For the rest of us, too put-off by the cock holster to even enjoy watching her fuck some guy, “House of Wax” produces the next best thing: the gruesome death of Paris Hilton. Hilton meets her filmic demise in exactly the same way she lived: on her knees, with a pole rammed through her face. Sadly, “Wax” is one of the worst reels ever to be shat into a film can, lacking camp enough to be even a hilariously bad movie. Every minute is absolute torture, save that instant of penetration — where for one sweet moment, someone shuts that bitch the hell up.