Death Scene We Wish Were Real: House of Wax

    There are only two things that Paris Hilton is good for on screen, and acting isn’t one of them. The first is explicit, candid sex — the gripping subject of “1 Night in Paris,” a worthy treat for those interested in watching skinny, trampy celebrity blondes getting it on (come on, there’s no shame in that). For the rest of us, too put-off by the cock holster to even enjoy watching her fuck some guy, “House of Wax” produces the next best thing: the gruesome death of Paris Hilton. Hilton meets her filmic demise in exactly the same way she lived: on her knees, with a pole rammed through her face. Sadly, “Wax” is one of the worst reels ever to be shat into a film can, lacking camp enough to be even a hilariously bad movie. Every minute is absolute torture, save that instant of penetration — where for one sweet moment, someone shuts that bitch the hell up.

    Courtesy of HouseofWax.Com
    That’s Hottt: Paris ‘cum hither’ Hilton gets hers in “House of Wax.”
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