In recent years, the NBA has fully embraced the hip-hop culture that has seemed to represent their ever-younger core of star players. The adaptation can be seen in areas ranging from attitude to clothing to the lyrical prowess of stars like Indiana Pacers forward Ron Artest, Philadelphia 76ers guard Allen Iverson and of course, the rapping genie himself, Miami Heat center Shaquille “Kazaam” O’Neal. And while basketball players pose as rap artists, rap artists in turn pose as basketball players. Master P made himself say “ugh” numerous times while trying to make the Toronto Raptors. Snoop Dogg plays basketball so much that he could probably start at point guard for the Lakers. (Yes, Frankie Muniz could also start at point, but that’s beside the point.) Nelly, Jay-Z and Usher love the game so much that they now have ownership interests in the Charlotte Bobcats, New Jersey Nets and Cleveland LeBrons, respectively.
No matter how much hip-hop culture has influenced and changed the NBA and its players, league commissioner David Stern has decided to effectively bite the hand that pimped his ride by implementing an leaguewide dress code. The dress code, which has been described as business casual, would take away do-rags, bling-bling, retro jerseys and all other cool accessories that I can neither afford nor wear convincingly. Basically, the dress code applies at the walk from the team bus to the arena, from the arena back to the bus, during post-game press conferences, while seated on NBA benches, in the stands when not playing and even special events and appearances. On the courts, however, you can still wear your jersey, even though this too is league-mandated.
So, has the NBA become a dictatorial private school where shirts have to be tucked in and length of skirts continuously measured? Actually, the NBA has just become like every other workplace in America, save for the exorbitant paychecks, conspiracy theories and hot young women dancing (unless, of course, you work for the government).
The NBA might be lowering the iron fist in the eyes of many players and some fans, but George Steinbrenner has been imposing even harsher restrictions on his players for years. Stern isn’t going to make Kevin Garnett shave his goatee, Ben Wallace trim his Afro or Kobe Bryant drop his attitude. He just wants to see more people coming to the arena dressed like Michael Jordan, fewer dressed like Allen Iverson and none dressed like Mark Cuban, because that guy is just a bum. Cuban, the Dallas Mavericks owner, was even mentioned by Stern when the policy was announced as someone who could easily follow these rules due to their leniency.
Should coaches be subject to the same rules as their more flamboyant players? Was it fair for Denver Nuggets coach George Karl to be fined for wearing a retro Nuggets jersey? Yes. Baseball managers wear the same uniform as the players. (That, however, is part of the current MLB dress code.) Managers and coaches, like players, are employees.
During Stern’s era, the NBA has watched declining ratings, declining sales and declining age. The third part, with prep-to-pro stars such as LeBron James and Amare Stoudamire, might have reinvigorated some teams in the league, but it didn’t solve either of the first two problems. Stern thus made an age requirement, forcing young basketball players to accept a hefty scholarship to a wonderful academic institution before sucking in the millions that come with a career in the NBA. Now, unlike the dress code, age requirements do not seem to have a rightful part in the workplace. They are, on some level, discriminatory, both by age and by race, with the vast majority of those affected being African-American teens who could cash in at 18, but either are critically injured or exposed as crappy in college and get no compensation for athletic skills at 20.
Race is an issue that some players have touched on when addressing the dress code. The exclusion of “chains, pendants or medallions” as defined by the NBA, or “bling-bling” as defined by all cool and pseudo-cool people, along with the expulsion of retro and throwback jerseys, do-rags and hats tilted at the side could be seen as targeted at a very specific demographic.
However, Stern isn’t just banning people who tilt their hats, but anyone wearing a hat, even if that person is Sacramento Kings center and good ol’ country boy Brad Miller. Stern also isn’t just banning huge medallions showing off a player’s number, initials or sign (usually that of a dollar), but also big crosses, or even a medallion that just says “I Love My Mom.” He’s not just banning headphones that blare the latest from 50 Cent, but also headphones blaring Barbara Streisand’s “50 Greatest Hits.”
You can still wear your bling, your T-shirt and your throwback, but it’s going to be under either a short or long-sleeved shirt (collared or turtleneck) or sweater (unless of course you are on the bench, but not in action, which means you’ll also need a sports coat). Go ahead and sport your headphones, flip-flops and sunglasses, but only in the comfort of your team’s locker room. Actually, don’t wear the sunglasses even in the locker room, because you’re not Corey Hart and you don’t need to be wearing your sunglasses at night.
Is Stern being too stern (pun intended — you knew it was coming)? Yes, but he is the de facto head and representative for the league. No matter how much more money Denver Nuggets center Marcus Camby makes than Stern, Stern is still his and every other NBA player’s boss. It is Stern who has made sure that the end of the NBA didn’t coincide with the end of Jordan’s last comeback, the end of the Lakers dynasty or the end of John Stockton’s short shorts.
It is Stern who was able to quickly repair and restore the league during the strike year of 1998-99 in order to crown an NBA champion and avoid the kind of slide Major League Baseball suffered after the strike that cost them and millions of fans the World Series in 1994. And to Camby, Jackson, Mark Madsen and any other player opposed to the new dress code, it is Stern who has ensured that the NBA flourishes, allowing you to earn the excessive salaries that pay for the bling, jerseys and jewel-encrusted caps you can still wear on your days off.
And, on the bright side, at least he didn’t bring back the short shorts.
