If “Batman Begins” breathes any new life into the comic book movie, “Fantastic Four” will suck that life out of it for anyone over the age of 7. For the first Silver Age superhero team, created by Stan “The Man” Lee, there haven’t been any good movie adaptations, only a straight-to-video release that made the infamous 1970’s “Spider-Man” movies look downright tolerable. For some reason, a big orange New Yorker made from rocks who yells “It’s clobberin’ time!” at the Yancy Street gang, a super-smart gray-templed “stretcho” with inventions the size of a Boeing, a human matchstick who yells, “Flame on!” (try it, it’s not as cool as it looks), and a force-field-inducing hottie with a crush on way-older men translates into a shitty movie. Pick up John Byrne’s legendary run as a writer in the ’80s Fantastic Four series instead, and read some comics instead of watching them.
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