Since when did we replace the night of formal dinner and dancing with a sojourn to fast food places followed by dry humping at clubs? I can never quite forget how incredibly casual California culture is after deciding to kiss a gorgeous Bay area summer goodbye in favor of volunteering at a hospital in India.
Don’t tell me you’ve never rolled out of bed and gone to class in your pajamas, or that you usually prefer sit-down meals to faster service. I’m guilty of this syndrome myself: I will always remember the time a friend came to pick me up for lunch in India while I was in a faded pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and asked pointedly how long it would take me to get ready. Initially I thought that these people simply did not know how to relax, but after having lived there for a few weeks, I started to see the perks of dressing decently and having impeccable table manners.
Don’t get me wrong — I am a fan of grabbing a quick, hassle-free bite to eat and of being able to walk around in pretty much anything without getting weird glances from people. However, I cannot help but wonder if we are missing that certain “je ne sais quoi” when it comes to conducting ourselves. Call me old-fashioned, but what happened to going out in something other than sneakers and flip-flops? There is a fine line between being laid back in that quintessential California way and being inappropriate.
My stay at International House on campus this year might further perpetuate my new frustration with this aspect of California culture. Hanging out with international students every day, it is almost impossible not to notice the differences between us, despite the numerous similarities we share. Pizza is generally eaten with a knife and fork, and many enjoy getting dressed up and going to events with regularity and great politeness.
In contrast, California natives generally call everyone by their first names and get offended when someone calls them “sir” or “ma’am” since they think the title challenges their youthful appearance. There are also times we do not know when to keep our mouths shut. The other day, my apartment-mate was having lunch at Plaza Cafe, only to hear two girls sitting next to her discussing their (extended) experiences in giving blowjobs and whether or not spitting diminishes the romantic aspect of oral sex. Did I mention they were in their pajamas as well? In our culture of “anything goes,” how far will we really let ourselves slide before we start to look truly ridiculous?
I am definitely not advocating a return to the Victorian era, or saying that it is inappropriate to walk around in a sweatshirt and flip-flops. However, it might be nice to watch what we talk about so freely in public or to forgo those regular trips to In-N-Out with friends for a more planned and slow-paced meal. Looking nice and eating with actual silverware (gasp!) with a napkin in your lap couldn’t be that awful, right?