10. Ugly San Diego Uniforms: The Chargers have the nasty powder blues and the Padres look ridiculous in camouflage. Trust me, even without ugly uniforms, neither of these teams will have any trouble looking bad on the field.
9. The Five Game Divisional Series: Does it make any sense for baseball teams to play 162 regular season games and then skimp out on a full seven-game series in the first round? True, the poor A’s would probably end up winning the first three games of a seven-game series before choking, but a better system is worth a little extra heartbreak.
8. Chris Berman: Can somebody please get this guy off my TV? “”He couldŠ goŠ allŠ theŠ way”” to the unemployment office. Then the mute button on my remote wouldn’t be quite so worn out.
7. Lame Students at UCSD: All of those people who complain about the absence of things to do at UCSD, then end up sitting home on a Saturday night studying their cell-bio-chem-bio-chem-chem-bio textbook for a midterm that isn’t for three weeks. Since I know that my readers would never do such a thing, if you happen to know people like this, please tell them that UCSD has one of the top athletic programs in the nation, and that the volleyball, soccer and water polo games that are happening right now are worth their attention.
6. The New York Yankees: Unlike Davis, who was recalled for excessive incompetence, I’d like to recall the Yankees for their excessive excellence. To put it frankly, I’m just sick of seeing Joe Torre’s big nose every single postseason.
5. QuesTec: The new system that uses a set of cameras to monitor umpires’ calls on balls and strikes needs to go. While it seems very UCSD-like to have scientific data for the bum in the bleachers to go off of when he states his hypothesis that “”Dude, this ump sucks,”” inconsistency in the system makes it more trouble than it’s worth.
4. The Long NFL Preseason: I don’t want to pay $60 to watch a game in August that doesn’t matter. If I want to pay big money to watch games that have no impact on the playoff race, I’ll buy tickets to watch the Chargers in December.
3. One Dollar Nights at Baseball Games: I’m all for affordable seats, and it’s great to get people out to the games, but as my friend Josh and I discovered last summer, when hot dogs are only one dollar, you tend to buy a few more than you should. And trust me, it’s a long walk to the men’s room.
2. The Los Angeles Clippers: Quite possibly the most pathetic franchise in sports, they agreed to share the Staples Center with the Lakers only because they figured confused Lakers fans might show up on the wrong night to fill some seats. If it weren’t for Elton Brand being such a solid player in fantasy basketball, no one would be checking the Clippers’ scores every night.
1. Commissioner of Baseball, Bud Selig: He allowed a World Series to be cancelled in 1994, he’s ended a baseball game in a tie, and he’s keeping Pete Rose out of the Hall of Fame. Maybe a recall won’t work, but there has be some way to get rid of Selig. Do you think Bud would go for a celebrity boxing match against the governor-elect?
