I am currently going through a difficult period in my life.

I sit alone at nights in a dark corner of my apartment and cry myself to sleep. What could possibly reduce this once staggeringly dashing sports editor to a mass of patheticness that cries like a schoolgirl with a skinned knee? Simple: I don’t have cable.

Not only do I not have cable, but I don’t get any channels at all. Not even the basic networks that televisions from the 17th century pick up. It is truly pathetic. The thing that saddens me the most about not having cable — aside from missing MTV’s newest form of trash TV, “”Dismissed”” — is missing sports programming.

I love sports. When ESPN spawned ESPN2 and then birthed ESPN News, I almost splodged my pants. I have watched the white trash Olympics — the Outdoor Games — late at night on The Duece. I even caught myself watching fishing shows a few times when I felt particularly insomniac-like.

I used to plan my weeks around sports programming. I could take comfort in one thing: No matter what time it was, there was always a sporting event going on. Occasionally, there were gaps in the schedule that I would fill by flipping to “”SportsCenter”” to catch up on the rest of the sports world, but for the most part, the day was full.

Now, I just sit and stare at my blank television screen, occasionally putting on “”Varsity Blues”” or “”For Love of the Game”” to dull the pain. I even turned to video games to try to find salvation. They were no help. I just couldn’t take solace in something that allowed me to take the Detroit Lions to the Super Bowl with a flawless record.

For the past two weeks, I have not had access to sports entertainment. It has saddened me greatly because of the time of year.

For a true sports fan, things really don’t get better than this. Virtually all major sports games are televised. I can choose from the World Series, pro football, college football, preseason basketball or hockey. Pretty soon, I will even be able to catch some college hoops on the tube.

With all of these sports happening at once and with me unable to view them from my own home, I have been tempted to go to desperate extremes to keep up with sports.

I’ve found myself doing things from nearly calling an ex-girlfriend just to use her television to camping out for an entire day at a TV store and watching the various sports being broadcast. I decided against the latter after I remembered that the employees don’t like you turning all of their televisions to one station, especially if you have no plans of buying one.

So far, I have managed to resist temptation and keep myself sane in this crazy world. I have had strong support from friends and family who have helped me through these trying times. I now have only one choice: I must give in and pray to the gods of sports broadcasting to bless me with relatively inexpensive cable sometime in the near future. I will get through this. I have to.

Because I said so.