I Hate Punxsutawney Phil.
The age-old “Groundhog Day” started as a tradition between Pennsylvania’s original colonists. Candlemas, or “Badger Day” as it was first called, celebrates the
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satire
The Perfect Halloween Costume
So, it’s the day of Halloween and you haven’t even thought about your costume. Whether it was out of sheer laziness or midterms
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DISREGUARDIAN: Preacher “Sister Cindy” Calls Campus Buildings Sexual
Editor’s Note: The following is a satirical article for The DisreGuardian, which are a series of articles published annually for The Guardian’s April
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DISREGUARDIAN: Scam Likely
DISREGUARDIAN: The number of scam callers are rising and they are on the hunt for people’s personal information. One successful owner of a
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DisreGuardian: A Definitive Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving With Politically Hostile Friends and Family Members
Editor’s Note: This is a DisreGuardian satire piece So, you want to go home for the holiday season. Well, I commend your bravery
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Disreguardian: Tips For Dating During Quarantine
COVID-19 may perhaps be the biggest cockblock the modern world has ever known, single-handedly ending Tinder hookups for the foreseeable future. If you’re
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DisreGuardian: The Ethical Problem of Taking Away My Superiority Over Others
By John O’Connor, 40-year-old white man (Steven Zhou) For 2020’s DisreGuardian, 40-year-old white man John O’Connor tackles the problem of white men feeling
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DISREGUARDIAN: News Editor’s Life in Shambles; Publishes Hit Piece on Self
UCSD Guardian News Editor Jacob Sutherland has allegedly had one too many mental breakdowns, according to Sutherland himself. This news comes after having
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DISREGUARDIAN: Students Claim Taco Bell’s Discontinuation of Nacho Fries is “The Most Influential Thing to Happen 2020”
Outrage broke out amongst UC S– D—- students after Taco Bell announced its discontinuation of Nacho Fries. Esther Thomas, Thurgood Marshall College junior,
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Disreguardian: 10 Songs To Sing While You Wash Your Hands
The pandemic has everyone and their mother reminding us to wash our hands for 20 seconds, meaning that “Happy Birthday” twice is reverberating
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