YESTERDAY’S NUMBER 1s
Box Office: “The Super Mario Galaxy Movie”
Billboard Hot 100: “Choosin’ Texas” by Ella Langley
Billboard 200: “Dandelion” by Ella Langley
The New York Times Best Seller List: “Hope Rises” by David Baldacci
YESTERDAY’S NUMBER 1s, 10 YEARS AGO
Box Office: “The Jungle Book”
Billboard Hot 100: “Work” by Rihanna ft. Drake
Billboard 200: “Lemonade” by Beyoncé
The New York Times Best Seller List: “One With You” by Sylvia Day
IN MEMORIAM
James Tolkan (1931-2026): American character actor known for “Top Gun” and “Back to the Future”
Dave Mason (1946-2026): founding member of British rock band Traffic and former member of Fleetwood Mac
Mary Beth Hurt (1946-2026): American film and theater actress known for the film “The World According to Garp”
Nadia Farès (1968-2026): Moroccan French actress and singer known for the film “The Crimson Rivers”
CHRONICALLY ONLINE
Adopting heavy prosthetics light on melanin, comedian Druski has become a topic of national conversation thanks to his new skit, “How Conservative Women in America act.” His character’s “White Chicks”-esque appearance, vocal fry, and accompanying oblivious condescension drew immediate comparisons to both White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt and, more pointedly, Turning Point USA CEO Erika Kirk.
WE SHOULD ALL KNOW LESS ABOUT EACH OTHER
Once an online fandom relic, Twitter user @buzzkillary’s infamous 29-slide powerpoint alleging an affair between producer Jack Antonoff and singer Lorde has resurfaced with the release of Lena Dunham’s “Famesick: A Memoir.” In it, Dunham all but drops the guillotine on her relationship with Antonoff, citing an unnamed “teen pop star” whose needs were “seemingly as massive and complex” as Dunham’s own.
Influencers of a feather larp together
Influencers have once again overrun Coachella, happily trading cash and credibility for brand experiences ranging from Google Pixel’s AI-enhancing photo and streaming services to Starbucks’ Coachella-exclusive menu of — you guessed it — reheated nachos from 2017. What better to go along with Justin Bieber’s screencast YouTube karaoke headliner performance?
Paramount disproves The UCSD Guardian — see Jan. 12’s FYI, BTW
As shareholders voted to approve Paramount’s acquisition of Warner Bros. Discovery — the Ellisons’ first time playing underdog — they also shot some holes into WBD CEO David Zaslav’s planned $700 million “golden parachute.” Sources told Variety earlier in the week that Zaslav would have rather kept the job than hand over his keys. If there’s one thing this saga has proven, it’s that money may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell kills everything good.
Madison Square Garden under fire for raising surveillance hell on earth
New York Knicks and Madison Square Garden owner James Dolan has banned a transgender woman from his “panopticon” after obsessively monitoring her movements inside the venue for two years. In a lawsuit brought against John Eversole, Dolan’s chief security officer, prosecution claimed that she was targeted “because of her gender identity” and for fear of her getting too close to players.
Critics find ‘Michael’ ‘Bad’; fans don’t think it’s so ‘Black or White’
While critics have roundly scoffed at the production-troubled Michael Jackson biopic for its sidestepping of the mother of all room-based elephants, audiences have taken far more kindly to it. Strong social media praise has helped “Michael” moonwalk to the largest-ever opening for a biopic. Sequel buzz is already swirling, though with this movie’s third act already reshot at great cost due to lawsuit stipulations, it’s unclear how much can legally be adapted.
‘Infinity Vision’? More like no ‘Endgame’ in sight for Disney’s marketing gimmicks
Disney announced an in-house certification for premium large-format theaters, set to coincide with its September rerelease of “Avengers: Endgame” and December release of “Avengers: Doomsday.” “Infinity Vision” will offer audiences the most technically-optimal way to watch their blockbuster of choice — excluding IMAX screens, which “Dune: Part Three” will occupy during “Doomsday’s” opening weekend. Critics have called “Infinity Vision” a lazy reskin of existing theaters in a stillborn bid to draw more of the PLF market. Noncritics are yet to be found.
Fans wait in line for weekly slop rations on ‘Euphoria’ Season 3
Round and round the Sam Levinson carousel we go, where gratuity has superseded storytelling, character arcs, and meaningful commentary on excess itself. “Euphoria” Season 3 has missed the mark with both critics and audiences, scoring the lowest ratings of all three seasons. Cheers to Sydney Sweeney and Jacob Elordi for their ever-generous contributions to modern slop.
