Picture a cozy bed with a cup of peppermint tea steaming on the nightstand — that’s where you’ll find me most Friday evenings. As someone who chooses staying in over going out, going to a rave practically broke my moral handbook. Still, I’d already bought my ticket — no turning back. My brain responded to this decision in the only way it knew how: overthinking about everything that could go wrong.
To be fair, this wasn’t an actual rave — it was music played over TikTok edits of “Heated Rivalry” — but for a tea-loving, Netflix-watching homebody like me, anything louder than the TV volume in my living room calls for some caution.
When the day arrived, I picked up my friend, and we agreed to stay in the back, hoping to avoid hearing loss, being trampled, and overheating or fainting. Ironically enough, we ended up in the front row! The next thing I knew, I was screaming my heart out alongside strangers — how can you not sing along to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”? By this point, there was a slight muffle in my ear, and my feet were in agonizing pain. In spite of everything, though, I also realized I wasn’t nervous anymore, and for the first time that night, I looked forward to what was next. It was just my luck that my favorite Gaga anthem, “Telephone,” came on.
If my story sounds familiar, you know how I felt. I can’t lie, it was difficult to be excited for the rave; it was something I’d never done before. My nerves and anxiety got the best of me — and fully parting with these feelings wasn’t simple. The bright side: This is something you can work on! Here are some good starting points and tips I learned as a certified overthinker, worrier, and devoted lover who feared their breakup with their comfort zone:
Start small and go little by little
Let me be clear: You don’t need to black out at the club or speed recklessly on the freeway to get over your driving anxiety — don’t jump the gun. Start with what feels comfortable, then add something new! If public speaking shows up in your nightmares, practice talking in front of a close friend who will give you solid feedback. Are you a couch potato on the weekends? Go to the theater with a friend for a matinee showing! That’s the mindset I brought to the rave. Having been to concerts before, I knew the energy, the crowds, and the experience — so I figured this would be similar. If this had been one of those raves where you have to condition your body or take your water in a CamelBak, I would have kindly declined.
Go with someone you can count on
It’s hard to open up to just anyone. However, telling someone that you’re antsy will make the whole experience a bit easier. Having someone you can rely on always makes uncomfortable things as comfortable as they can be! Before going to the rave, I made sure to let my friend in on how I was feeling. I knew she’d understand, and that’s why we laid our ground rules before we walked in. For the record, I don’t regret that ear muffle or my aching feet; after all, it’s only temporary — and so is your overthinking.
Most importantly, balance is key
I always have my nightly tea and my favorite sitcom playing in the background. Still, I’ve been trying to switch it up a bit, and it’s a good idea for everyone to do the same. You can still have your nights in, but do yourself a favor and live a little! Now, would I go to a rave every weekend? Absolutely not — my mental and physical health could not take it. While I’m still working on achieving that balance, this was a step in the right direction.
If you’ve gathered anything from my time at the rave, it’s probably that I had lots of fun. I’m sure you’ve heard people say that the anticipation leading up to something is worse than the thing itself — and I fear they’re right. While in the moment, the opposite may seem true, it will never actually be as bad as you’re anticipating. After all, it’s you versus your brain, and you’ve definitely got that one in the bag.
